Breaking Doubt

Watch? Check. Calculator? Check. Pencil? Check. Papers? Check. Me? Check.

Time. Go.

My eyes slide over the words as the conveyor belt at the grocery store,

while my mind scans the bar codes of each sentence.

I read and I think and I circle.

Nothing exists, not even the conscious of myself, except the words.

My brain is focused,

adhered to the paper before me with glue.

I move from the reading to the grammar to the math to the writing.

I answered, never asked.

I did as I was told. I did as I was supposed to. I did as I was meant to.

I was set and assured in myself.

The worry, the stress. the fear

that always haunt me had not followed me into that room.

The car door shuts.

So, that was it?

That was it.

So, did I just like taking the SAT?

I just liked taking the SAT

with the concentration, the thought, the flow inherent within it.

I no longer cared of the score I would receive.

In that moment,

I was no longer a kid haunted by

the worry, the stress, the fear.

Those heavy clouds rolled back for the first time,

and I was left with the warm glow of self-assurance,

confidence within myself for doing my best.

The worry, the stress, the fear

still hide in my shadows,

but now I know to work for confidence in myself.


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