To the boy who calmed my being

Never put so much emotion in to one person 

You walked into my life and it was as if i had just been awoken 

You and your dazzling smile 

The little smirk you gave that just made my heart ache 

It was possibly the worst and best day you came into my life

It was psat day 

and i know you say you don’t remember

But I can't get that moment out of my head 

I play it on repeat 

All of the moments between us i cherish forever 

The football game and how you gave me your sweater 

The mission and how we got our first kiss

Sneaking around at the park 

Wingstop and a blue raspberry slushie


It's all stuck in my head 

Your name 

Its put on a loop in my brain

Xavier this 

Xavier that 

Literally everything reminds me of you 

The little jokes you make 

Our childish banter 

The serious talks we have

Staying up all night on a secret phone call 

Its all i can think 


Except there's somethings you don’t know about 


My brain

I don't like it 

I hate my brain 

I hate the way i think 

It never allows me to be 


I know you say you love me 

You say how i'm an angel 

And how you adore me 

But me being me 

I don't believe any of it 

And that's not your fault 

Or anyones for that matter 

Your not the only person 

I don't believe anyone 

I thought that when i met you 

I was finally going to be


I thought 

This is it 

My moment 

The moment im allowed to breathe 

I can think clearly 

But i guess i was wrong 



When your around me 

When i look into your brown eyes

When i play with your hair 

When i can feel you 

When i can hear you 

Im ok 

Im happy 

My brain is silent 

There's no more self doubt 

My demons are silenced 

You calm me 


Which is strange

With all the other boys i liked 

I got nervous 

I got butterflies 

But with you i don't 

Im calm 

Im happy 

Im sane 


But when your not around 

I overthink 

Im anxious 

And can never sleep 

Your all i think about 

And i know i screw up 

A lot 

And i might be the reason why i relationship would ever end 

But i just want you to know 


That i'm happy i met you 

Im grateful i found my destresser 

The jokester 

The boy who puts a smile on my face 

The boy i love with every inch of my being 


Thank you for walking into my life 




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