Flittering, fluttering, fast and faux heart

Why will you not do your part?

You’re quaking and shaking and making a fuss

But all I desire is stillness and trust

 

Flittering, fluttering, fearful faux heart

I know not what has caused you to start

The air is calm and the day is at rest

Still you jump from your place in my chest

 

Falling and fighting and flying about

I’m tired, so tired, of your silent shout

I’ve worked too hard to listen to you now

And it is you that I disavow

 

Shuddering, muttering, this folly stopping

The game you play is finally dropping

You’re quiet, much quieter, than you were before

(Truth be told, it’s a bit of a bore)

 

I’ve learned to trust the might of my mind

And accepted the fact I’m not one-of-a-kind

“Follow your heart” is such a false phrase

When I’d rather entrap it in a steadfast cage

 

For emotions are nice so long as they’re muted

And can’t measure up to that which I’m suited

For logic and science are the foundation of ‘I’

And a heart betrays what it cannot belie

 

But I secretly like when you talk to me

And express your desire to soon be free

Though I’ve often begged you’d turn to stone

Without you, my dear, I’d be all alone

 

For my mind is a prison as much as a palace

All that I am is the product of malice

Toward the feelings and people I can’t control

And it seems like life without parole.

 

But the resonation of your strong knell

Reminds me that I’m not just a shell

Empty of all that would make one whole

A vessel of life that ‘humanity’ stole

 

I’m running a fever of one-hundred and ten

A mirror of reality, over ‘n over again.

I’d oft so ask what it all means

But I know by now the answer’s a dream

 

Who am I, who art thou, how do I know?

When the base of my brain is engulfed by snow

A steady, black haze of white, drifting ice

Covering all of societal vice

 

Cover, layering, but never disguising

The ignorance all, disaster arising

My hope for salvation is on the wane

And this far-away gaze is what keeps me sane.

 

Be I this, my own façade

Know that I am not my own fraud

For this picturesque little mannequin

Weeps and screams not far under real skin.

 

I see the air, black as avarice

In every breath of the earth-worn mice

I feel the earth, stained in blood

From all the wars it’s said we’ve won

 

I cannot hope to change what I “am”

Though it all seems trivial, sieve and sand.

I may not know what I will or can be

But I one day hope the blind world may see.

 

Think back on the past, doomed to repeat

And wonder aloud about your front-row seat

I am and you are and we will be all

The soldiers who fight and in turn must fall.

 

We poison ourselves and leave little hope

There is no ledge we can sightlessly grope

To pull ourselves out of this mess we have made,

I am and you are and we will fade.

 

Our eyes have been stitched shut for far too long

And the string we pull through sings a sickly-sweet song

This ‘bliss’ we have molded from false promise and lies

Will see us all dead by the bloody sunrise.