Birthday Poem
It was my 24th birthday, and I felt like crying
being stuck in a rut is a slow form of dying
It happens on the inside, no one can see
but the pain is deep and heavy indeed.
When closest friends turn to distant peers
The cycle continues; my greatest fear
My memories bring me misery
A Journey through history
Reveal the path to insanity
Trauma ushers induction
into willful self-destruction
Reach inside and feel my soul
The vampiric clutch is taking its toll
Cynicism, Sarcasm, Pessimism, Optimism
Bipolar antics, cementing mental prison.
Don't look him in the eye, he's too insecure
Loud, overgrown child; he's so immature.
In all actuality,
I was a silent child;
A bastard child;
Mislead and beguiled,
Lost to the evil wiles of the world
Wicked compromise of pure heart
Innocence lost, tainted from the start.
Terror is fear that has grown with time
A comforting notion that lives in my mind
It washes over and pins me to the earth
Suffocation of life, condemnation of mirth.
On a mission for peace of mind
Weight on my chest while the gears they grind.
What I'd like to say most is: Fuck you
Because I loved you. Fuck you because I trusted you
Chip on my shoulder all because of you
But now I laugh, I find I'm better than you.
I've transcended you, and I'm over you.
You may not know what I'm saying, but you could if you try
I'm saying that sometimes on your birthday, it's a good thing to cry.