I am not solitary.
I require the love of others, as do we all
to be happy.
I need occasional attention;
I need encouragement;
I need to be reassured, and hugged,
But if one day, if some power that would be
much greater and crueler than me
decided that I could have nothing,
nothing more than the one thing that I need the most, the
then I would much rather choose my own self
than any person that I know.
I would miss my family,
as loving as they are.
I’d long for
my mother, and her contagious laugh;
my father, and his gentle hands;
my sister, and her wild soul.
I need them.
I need them like fish need water;
like flags need wind;
like trains need tracks;
but even though I would howl for endless nights
if one day they were stripped away,
I know that I need my self more.
And I would my friends,
who invigorate me and empower me;
who ignite me like flint to a match
and set my ideas growing and climbing like wildfire.
I would my boyfriend terribly; my companion who
watches over me like a guardian angel,
always sprinting to my side
at the first hint of danger,
a watchdog; a canary in a coal mine; a dear friend to count on
whenever I get scared,
or feel lost and blinded.
He is there. He always will be.
Yes, I do love them all,
and life would be grey without their presence,
but I’d sooner take my own personality
than live off of the fumes of theirs.
For though I am not solitary,
and though I would miss them brokenheartedly
as though some irreplaceable piece of my body
were lobbed off unwillingly,
I know that I am still strong alone.
though I am not perfect,
and though I am flawed in ways
that can never be resolved,
I would never be recovered
if someone were to take away
my heart and my soul.
Because I would be nothing without my heart.
I would be nothing without my creativity;
without my wit;
without my ambition.
And I would also be nothing without my arrogance,
or my millimeter-short temper,
or my fragile, glass-blown emotions
that sometimes shatter at a single blow.
If everything were to be stripped from me,
all of the good, and
all of the bad,
the consequences would be
far more insurmountable
than they would be to lose another.
Even though it would break my heart
to watch all of those that I love
disappear into the distance,
I know, in my heart,
that there will always be
that I can never allow to be taken away.
And that is my self.