I wish I could've been enough for you. I wish you could be happy with who you are without having to have a girlfriend. But, you'll never feel complete unless you do. I don't doubt I meant something to you when we were friends. But, as soon as you find a girl, I mean nothing. And I get it. She's like a best friend with whom you can marry. But, what if you're wrong? Would you be just as happy with all your decisions when you don't have her? Just like when Tola left you? Will I suddenly mean something again like every other time they hurt you? Or will you replace me? Will I dissipate with all the other broken promises you made to me before you met her? In the end am I anything other than a broken promise you'd rather ignore than take responsibility for? What more can I do for you that I haven't already done? Can I sacrifice any more of what's left of my humanity? When you look at all the pain I've been through because of your betrayal do you even feel sorry? Or do you see my willingness to end my own life as a worthy enough price to pay for your own happiness? We were brothers once. I was there for you through everything. I showed a sense of loyalty to you that most would probably never even show to their own spouses. When you needed anything I was there because you asked me to be. But, when I needed you most all I got from you was, "Figure it out on your own." We were supposed to be there for each other. And now all I see is your own desire to think about no one other than yourself. I treated you like I would my own brother and you treated me like your bitch. When you hurt me for Tola and Eden you treated me exactly like you are now. As if I'm not good enough to be a part of your life. But, if you ask Priscilla or your sister or Eugene or all of the people who have seen us together, I can assure you they would take my side in a heart beat, they would take my side. I want you to be happy, but why does your happiness depend on my own destruction? I could never hate you. You are my best friend. But, I can't respect the way you broke me. I wish you could see just how much I love you. But,if you've taught me anything it's to respect myself. And though I love you more than my own life, I can't let you keep going on thinking this is okay to do to those who care about you. You can have a girlfriend and friends and family. We are all important. We give you something unique that no one individual can give you, Priorities shift. Your girlfriend shouldn't be your priority 24/7. I understand what kind of pain you've been through in your past. But, it can't excuse the way you've treated me and everyone else in your life. And even now I would forgive you for everything you would never apologize for. And, yeah, I've fucked up a lot, but I acknowledge that what I did was wrong and would do literally anything to fight for our friendship and keep you in my life. But, you've never worried once about losing me. Because you knew I would never leave you. But, I was always worried I would lose you. And I shouldn't have felt that at any point in our friendship. In the end I was always fighting for something you never cared enough to appreciate. How much did you sacrifice for me? I honestly don't care about that though. All I asked for was respect, commitment, loyalty and trust. Something anyone deserves regardless of how well they knew each other. But, could you even give me that? Love shouldn't make me hate myself this much. I told you my fears and you made sure they were realized. You told me your dreams and I did everything I could to make them come true.