Becoming Home

There comes a time

when the fleeting admiration of strangers

becomes unfulfilling,

where your bones ache

from the trembling sound of loneliness,

and this darling,

is the time when your heart must work harder,

your fingers must loosen their grip,

you will be forced to learn how to survive

without loving hands to pump blood through your body

or sweet lips to breath for you.

This is the time of loving yourself.

And although you are pounded with the notion

that you can never love yourself

as much as someone else loves you

I dare you to be your own omnipotence,

to sacrifice everything for what you believe in;

not the passing by social norms of living

But your life,

Itself,

a beautiful thing that will never

be created again.

 

When you reach this point,

It will be a struggle not to reach to others,

To fill desolate holes between your fingers,

To deny the notion of being held

tenderly in the arms of others.

You will have to have the self-awareness

to refuse dependence.

 

You will have to practice crawling,

And walking,

And running,

All over again, on your own

You will have to trust in your tender and bruised feet

Allow scars to heal from the rocks beneath you

Learn how to take a punch

and withhold yours

leaving only the whisper of

independence behind you.

When you arrive here

You will be your own home.

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If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741