Because you "loved" me and I "loved" you back

Because you "loved" me and I "loved" you back I thought it was okay

To allow you to call me names

Disgusting!, whore!, slut!

And at the end of all that I still begged you not to leave me!

I allowed you to pressure me into sending you an explicit picture of me because In your own words

"If you love me you will"

And because I did love you 

I did it

But because you "loved" me and I "loved" you back I thought it was okay 

To let you say who I could and could not have as a friend/follow in any of my social medias, 

And any time you were around I was in fear that someone will mention some guys name to you

Because it did not matter if they were a friend if they were family if they were my ex! Or if they were a celebrity 

To you it meant I'd end up cheating on you with them 

And god forrbid I not reply within seconds because to you I already had sex with whatever guy crossed my path 

And then the interrogations would start

"Why did you not reply sooner"

"Where were you?"

"What were you doing?"

"Who are you with"

But because I "loved" you and you "loved" me back I thought it was okay 

And not once did I stop to think that if you thought so little of me it meant you did not truly love me

But because I "loved" you and you "loved" me back 

 I allowed you to have the power to hurt me 

And no not once did you lay a hand on me 

But that did not mean you weren't abusive

Because abuse is not only physical but also emotional and many times we tend to forget that 

It took me two weeks before our one year to finally realize what was happening 

That I was not in a healthy relationship 

Because love is not jealous

Love does not put down

Love does not hurt you

Love is kind

Love is patient

Love is not being scared of your lover

Love is not crying every night

Love above all is trust 

Because if you don't have trust then you don't have anything 

And since didn't trust me 

We clearly didn't have anything 

But above all I'd like to thank you 

Because now I know what love is and what it isn't 

And I do not stand for anyone who treats me any less than what I deserve 

But because you "loved" me and I "loved" you back

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741