The true feels of a healthy relationship is one that brings out the best in you.
They build you up, not bring you down.
"I love you baby, so we're going to be together. Forever"
*scoffs* but baby, forever is not what i want if its going to be like this..
"Stop making me look stupid!" you say, as if someone is watching us,
regardless, I feel like you treat our relationship like an artifact for your elementary school show and tell project.
But I'm not 100% innocent in this either.
I've shattered your heart into a billion pieces and after, i tell you to go follow your heart as if you knew which piece to go after.
I break you down with my words, and then after, your softness cause me to once again, melt at the sound of your name, or the thought of your warm, brown, skin.
Why do i feel this way though, is it Because I Love You?
But you'll set fire to this ever-frozen heart if i dare make you look stupid again.
"Why are you talking to him when I'm not aware?!'", you say.
"I don't. know him. So why would you even dare?' you say.
Most times, i question "Do you even care?" but I'm afraid of my own true answer.
This is beginning to feel like the purest form of dismay, to whom, may i relate?
My insecurities, they tend to creep at times like this so you better beware.
But you know I'm only acting out Because I Love You, right?
But when we were at that party, and you left me to go talk to your "friend", yeah i know you felt that death stare.
Baby i love you soo much. Yeah we are going to be together forever
that cold tension in the room, I'd notice it anywhere.
But what if forever is not to what i really aspire.
With every night i lay down my head, my soul cries out to me "you're a liar"
Riding on this cold, hard, fact like i do the street car named desire.
But then again, what do i know? I could just be speaking out of fear,
Is it true that True Love can expire?
What a broken love affair.
Every time, with our smallest of arguments, i blow it up like I do your heart, body, soul, and brain.
When we can no longer conceal it, emotion seeping through us like purple rain.
Searching for a scapegoat to get out of here, the reasoning, covering up the real aroma like seasoning, of what i really feel.
Maybe I'm just afraid that this is all just getting a little too real.
But this is healthy though right?
Why am i doing this to you? Because I Love You that's why! and you're mine forever.
So you can have the password to my instagram, but i cant have yours? Give it to me now or i swear its over. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THAT'S WHY
I want to be your screensaver and i want to be it now so everyone knows its real.
That you are all mine and i to you too.
I just feel like you hold me back from my true self, this isn't love.
A chapter of my life that i am supposed to be enjoying now, that i can only dream of.
Being saved for never, collecting dust on a shelf.
is this love?
What does a healthy relationship mean to me you ask?
A healthy relationship is not having these thoughts rush through my mind, and not feeling the need to write what i just did.
And if that's the truth
why haven't i given up yet?
Because I Love You.