B is for Bisexual

Location

The single most used phrase I have heard in my life is

"Its just a phase"

From every single direction, I have been surrounded and I have been crucified by the phrase

"Its just a phase"

I have heard it so often that the closet is the only place I can go where that phrase won't come in, where it won't cut me like my razor on my nightstand

"Its just a phase"

Its fills my mind, permeates my relationships and keeps tallies on how many girls I kiss and how many boys I sleep with. A dirty scale teetering between gay and straight, always ready to collapse on me and mark me a whore.

 How many dates with a boy does it take to make me straight? How many girls-only sleepovers does it take to make me gay again?

"Its just a phase"

Why does it matter to anyone around me? Why must you all try and label me as just confused or slutty when I been screaming for days that I just like both? When will anyone bother to just listen?

"Its just a phase"

This sentence is why my arms are lined with bruises and scars, why I cry myself to sleep and plug my ears with headphones to drone out the phrase. This sentence haunts me even as my friends accept me, always whispering;

"Its just a phase"

I have come to be known only by a letter that few even realize is a sexuality, The letter B is my scarlet letter that my father attaches to my clothes with double-sided tape because after all

"Its just a phase"

How could we have let this happen, we have propelled the letters of this alphabet soup out of sync, B and the letters behind mine are left in the dark while those whose sexuality is more clear-cut and defined are out in the spotlight fighting for the rights to disprove the phrase "It's just a phase."

But there are others words out there that pummel me down just the same

"Slutty"

"Confused"

"Greedy"

"Just a Myth"

And how can I possibly combat those with just a little B?

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

Graca

This is a lovely piece

 

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