Awaiting Admission
Will they like me?
Will they bring me into their circle?
Will they find me worthy of taking another look?
Or,
Am I not enough for them?
Have I not done my part,
Not done all that they have asked from me?
I’ve worked for them.
Sweat for them.
Cried for them.
Lost sleep for them.
Knowing a decision is out of my hands irks me.
Unable to speak for myself
Or sway their minds
Or give my two sense.
No way to make their choice for them.
Out of my hands and unto theirs.
This waiting is what kills me the most.
Imagine, I never get word on my endeavors
No one ever acknowledges I even tried
That I dedicated myself to the process.
But
Maybe
Just, “putting the effort”
Simply isn’t enough.