Ascension

Location

Once lost and caught in darkness,

I could only see the evil in front of me.

It was hard to believe that the evil was once myself.

I took on another form as my real self sat on a shelf;

Discarded, thrown away, mistreated, I could see,

That I was a beautiful mess.

Misguided with little sanity,

I looked for the light of my forgotten grave,

Seeking for the bane of my existence.

With my last breath I wrote a sentence,

Something that I could use to save,

What was left of my humanity.

Time passed as I sat in my despair,

My note read ‘save your soul,’

And as my demonic self saw my message,

A blood red tear shed from his eye.

He let out a devilish sigh,

As the darkness lifted its cage

I slowly lifted myself reaching my goal,

In the creature’s last remark it said,

‘Don't let the past create your future,

Don't let the past be your downfall,

Let the past be your call,

The wisdom to venture,

To your greatest adventure.’

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

Shalana

 Great poem! Keep up the good work. I find your structuring of this poem interesting. Is this a spoken word piece? If so, is that the reason for you breaking off the line in certain parts of the sentence? Just something I was wondering about. Also, I saw that the guide that inspired the poem was bullying. Reading it the first time, I didn't pick up where that inspiration was placed in the poem. But after the second reading, I equated your evil self with the bully and this was a piece on the self-realization that you yourself were being a bully. Did I recieve it the way you intended for your audience to? Just something to think about. A bunch of questions like this usually help me in the editing process of my work and I figured every poet wants a real critique and not just a "This is good."

My favorite line is, "...I looked for the light of my forgotton grave..." because graves, being associated with death, are generally thought of as dark. However, this contradictory adjective "light" was a perfect description since the 'you' that died was a more positive character.

 

I'm a poet myself. If you get the chance and would like, you can return the favor by checking out some of the pieces I'm posting. I JUST created my profile and would like some feedback, a couple of ratings, you know. Have a great one. Speak a great one!

 

Peace, Power and Poetry

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