The Arachnid
Oxygen, wound so tightly in my chest
Bound by the web that holds my heart hostage
Spun by a spider who knows me
A mastermind of deception,
Of winning the situations spelled out for me
By some greater power
Her name is anxiety.
She spins labyrinths of doubt
Hiding her shadow in the caverns of my mistakes,
My quirks,
Until all I see is silvery letters spelling
“You do not deserve
Your friends,
Happiness,
Joy,
To be loved,
You do not deserve life”
So I dig myself deeper,
And warn all the dragonflies,
The bees,
The flowers,
To stay away,
Please, please,
Just leave me alone
I don’t want you to see me like this
Trapped
But sometimes-
When the morning air sits softly
Dew decides to glisten for a moment
And I catch my reflection
A girl
Steely eyes and
Smile lines
I’m only human
…
Hesitant hope begins to blossom
And my heart begins to race
As I begin to realize that maybe
My arachnid spun an illusion
For fear is a one-dimensional prison
And life is a beautiful
Spinning, vivid
Vortex
For the first time in a long time
I break my bond with the spider-
and I stand.