The Arachnid

Oxygen, wound so tightly in my chest

Bound by the web that holds my heart hostage

Spun by a spider who knows me

A mastermind of deception,

Of winning the situations spelled out for me

By some greater power

Her name is anxiety.

She spins labyrinths of doubt

Hiding her shadow in the caverns of my mistakes,

My quirks,

Until all I see is silvery letters spelling

“You do not deserve

Your friends,

Happiness,

Joy,

To be loved,

You do not deserve life”

So I dig myself deeper,

And warn all the dragonflies,

The bees,

The flowers,

To stay away,

Please, please,

Just leave me alone

I don’t want you to see me like this

Trapped

But sometimes-

When the morning air sits softly

Dew decides to glisten for a moment

And I catch my reflection

A girl

Steely eyes and

Smile lines

I’m only human

Hesitant hope begins to blossom

And my heart begins to race

As I begin to realize that maybe

My arachnid spun an illusion

For fear is a one-dimensional prison

And life is a beautiful

Spinning, vivid

Vortex

For the first time in a long time

I break my bond with the spider-

and I stand.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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