I longed for a long time

For tomboy heart

And the American Dream

Running wild in Alleys

Red-Brick Rooftops

And the Orange Lit City

The Fence Atop The Bleachers

Sunsets

I longed for delinquency

When I’d show up at the prom queen’s door

Baring my impoverished soul

Hoping to guilt them into liking me

Thunder-road was my heartbeat

I wanted to be a street urchin

For that’s what matched my emotions

My father stole from trashcans

That fate didn’t seem too far off

I wanted Beggar eyes

I wanted to run away with the dream girl

Searching for some semblance of hope

While stretching out

And showing all

Of my tattered little spirit

It followed me through the alleys

As I’d peak into the windows and watch

I’d ride over the bridge into the ghetto

And keep on pushing

I’d come back at sunset

I wanted a rough exterior

And to be one of the boys

It isn’t a family as stories perceive it

It is a gutter of rabid rats

They tear you apart

And it makes a person come crying back

Americana doesn’t exist anymore

It got bastardized and now it isn’t red and orange

It’s grey and blackened

It’s dirt not heaven

But I still want it

I want to be the one girl of the gang

Running on rooftops and having a makeshift family

To live with ruffians who need each other

But that stuff is movie fallacy

People just pity you

And boys rip you up

That time has passed

It came true

Those starry eyes shriveled up