It rises

again and again

like a curtain of night.

I know not when it may come

or if it will come at all.

I hope: maybe today?

No – for here it is again.

A swarm,

a cliff,

a blow.

 

I am gone,

lost to the world.

Constantly falling,

constantly failing,

constant. Always.

 

Or am I okay?

I feel calm.

I am       happy?

 

No I am not.

It came again:

a swath of terror.

I can’t breathe.

Hands on me:

holding me

stop stop stop

“are you okay?”

stop stop STOP

 

I am not okay.

I am drowning.

I am lost.

I need help.

Please.