Answers
A long time ago
I asked myself
what was thing called love?
why the hell do people want it so bad?
how come I can never feel it?
what is wrong with me?
why must I be unloved and unloving?
what is love?
and now I think I can tell you:
love is not the answer
to all our questions.
love isn't the sunshine coming through the leaves,
the dappled sunspots tracing across the ground
like the reflection of the night sky.
love isn't when you let them go
you put a smile on your face
when your heart is breaking
love isn't giving up
on your hopes and dreams
because you love them
so much
more
love isn't staying with him
because it's the right thing to do
and you're always trying to do
the right thing
love isn't putting him first
giving him your all
fully and unconditionally
love isn't a disease
I can't catch it
love isn't a drug
I didn't take a hit
love isn't a storm
I can't feel the rain
love isn't right
I wasn't wrong before.
I don't have another half
no other side to my monologue
so how can I claim now to love?
you tell me,
because I can't understand
the feeling
that makes me want to surrender
be weaker
cry
laugh
simply exist with you
because that would mean
that I am wrong
and you make me right
a half that wasn't supposed to exist
a piece of a puzzle
to a picture I thought was whole
changing how I view the world forever
I have no words
rationality thrown to the wind
I didn't fall head over heels
I did somersalts
and fell to the ground
hard.
struggling now to pick up
the fragmented pieces
of a heart I never thought I had
you were the only exception
you brought me to life
you took over my heart
and my head
and filled them with beautiful dreams
instead of nightmares
and now that I have to kill what I've created
throw away those dreams
because they were never shared
I wish I could go back
unkiss
unremember
unfeel
unlove
because you have made me fragile
and in order to move on
get over you
I have to gore these feelings
shred and rip them into little pieces
because you won't.
and I can't.