As a kid in kindergarten, I was quite good at making friends

Constantly conversing, never questioning if classmates were getting sick of me,

Because I knew I was the best and believed they would never leave.

Flash forward to when I was ten

I had just moved schools again

When suddenly I realized my new friends

Weren’t very nice to me.

We had been sitting in class

And one particular… boy

Singled me out and sang out my fears

For the rest of the room to hear, loud and clear,

That I wasn’t the same. That I don’t fit in.

I’m dumb and I’m ugly and I talk much too fast

If he were a team captain, he’d choose me last.

I can’t just come along and just expect to belong,

But his words weren’t the only thing that rubbed me wrong.

 

The girl I thought I was closest with

Sat right next to him

And didn’t say a single word to defend me.

 

My worst fear would never be

Any insecurity about my body or inferiority

I simply can’t stand to be lonely.

It’s not that I believed my friends would never leave,

I had just deceived myself in order to relieve

The pangs of fear I unconsciously received.

Leaving me to grieve alone,

I had to reap what my “friend” had sown.

 

And then,

And then and then and then,

I made new friends.

I made friends that helped me mend,

That stood by my side to defend.

They didn’t come off as condescending

And I knew that they weren’t pretending.

It’s because of them

That I was, that I am, able to suspend

My fears of my relationships coming to their ends.