Alligator Skin
alligator skin
running marathons up and down my limbs
making it obvious I don’t belong.
climbing my arms and shoulders
to mark up my cheeks and chin,
descending to my fingers and toes
reminding me to stay in the closet with the clothes
next to the alligator skin is a fly.
that fucking fly that tails me whispering,
everyone is watching
judging.
making the anxiety (I didn’t know I had),
boil over,
constructing anger.
enflaming anger so infuriating
that the only thing I know to do,
is cry.
hopefully one of the falling tears
collides with that fucking fly
and kills it
but probably not.
I’m being too hopeful. I totally forgot
that the alligator skin
alongside that fly
are always going to win
probably leading me to die.
alligator skin and stupid fly
I hope you fucking die,
leaving me to bask
in the things that I think are wrong.
I know what’s wrong,
I don’t need a reminder
I’ll work it out.
so for now fuck off
so I can clear my head
and get myself together again.