She walks out the door

Pulling on gloves

And drawing her coat tighter around her

To shield herself from the cold air

That settles on bones like a blanket of ice

 

The smile she donned to say her goodbyes

To her friends and neighbors

Disappears

And her eyes flash
And her jaw clenches

And she strides down the walk

With her scarf flapping behind her

 

She holds herself erect

And loosely swings her arms

Drumming her fingers in the air

To count out a calming rhythm

As her eyes flit side to side

Fully aware

And somewhat on edge

 

She notices immediately

The sound of footsteps approaching

To her right

Her head turns to spot the owner of the shoes

Beating against the pavement

As they cross her path to their owner’s destination

 

Her hands clench into loose fists

If someone passes too close

And she checks over her shoulder

If she senses someone falling into step behind her

Someone laughs too loud

She winces

And her body tenses like a spring

 

Her eyes are bright and alert

Her shoulders are drawn back

She walks with dignity

But there’s strength in it

That will explode

If necessary

To shield herself from more than the cold

 

She pulls open the door to the building

And walks inside with the same long step

That carried her here

Her fists are still clenched at her sides

And a finger will slowly tap a beat

That matches her heart

To relax her a little more

 

She slides into a seat

Unoccupied

Next to her companions

And the tenseness disappears

Laughter flows easily

And her eyes sparkle with mirth

Even though they still flit from side to side

To observe those around her

 

It’s a constant state

Of being alert

And she’s been called paranoid

And she gently explains

That she’d much rather be called that

Instead of unaware