Aisles

Shuffling woes and dragging my feet

the static cling

of innumerable issues

being unavoidably faced...all at once

is my fate

 

The fault was mine

 

I didn't dare trust you with with my heart

but my body I gave you

hoping that you'd be gracious enough

to give a damn about the risks

but no...

and now it's just me

nervously roaming aisles

of my inconveniently conveience store

my heart in my throat

my lungs refusing to work properly

my hands shaking in preparation

the question being:

"Am I too late???"

and where are you???

you who were so willing to come

when the journey was inside of me

but now you're nowhere to be found

so alone I wander

price comparing

 

What if the answer I get is opposite of what I want???

 

How much would I be willing to pay

to make this go away???

What promises would I be willing to offer to God

to take this situation out of my hands

make things...normal again???

Paranoia is now creeping into my soul

as the attendant I call on...

 

It feels like it's all eyes on me

 

I'm sure the judgment of the predicament I've found myself in

is beginning

I ask in a small voice

for the key

to the answer to my question

looming...threatening...darkening my outlook

I don't look at him

and it seems he won't stop looking my way

his unfamiliar eyes probing for answers

 

He had no right to ask me

 

but if th answer to this question is an unquestionable yes

I'll soon face this from the world

and if it's a yes, I'd better start prepping

because I know how you'll do

you'll get the bad news

tie up your shoes...and bounce

rev up your engine and leave me

to face this mess that we both created

or maybe you'll look me dead in my face

and still have nothing to say

you'll further pull away

until you no longer know my me

until yo no longer remember the sound of my voice

calling out your name

be so far removed

that you won't see the inevitable tears

of shame and desperation

fall from my once familiar face.
 

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