So there’s this word; “Addiction.”
the state of being enslaved to a habit, practice, or to something that is psychologically or physically habit forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
To most people the word “addiction” just means you don’t want to stop.
But not to her.
To her it’s busy nights, binge drinking, and breathtaking highs.
It’s scraping up enough money to go out and party for the 6th day in a row.
It’s “there are other ways to make money.”
It’s 1 more drink.
It’s staying out till 5AM. and sleeping till midnight.
It’s yelling at them for “ being too loud.”
To her it’s “I don’t have a problem.”
...To her it’s fighting off the pain.
But not to us.
To us it’s bewildered eyes, broken families and bruised children.
It’s crying ourselves to sleep because we can’t take another day without her here.
It’s trying to figure out what we’re going to feed our little siblings that night.
It’s hoping she’ll be okay.
It’s staying up till 5AM. trying to keep all of our thoughts in line to keep the lines from spreading to our wrists and thighs.
It’s locking our younger brothers and sisters in or rooms so they don’t get hurt to.
To us it’s “I’ll be fine”
...To us it’s fighting off the pain
The meaning of a word so complex cannot be carried by a simple definition. The meaning is carried by millions of emotions and thoughts and feelings and lives. For many people this is not just a mere word. This is a way of life.
We all have something that takes away the pain,
but… sometimes it doesn't take it away.
It simply spreads the suffering to
the ones you love.