You are the sunshine of my life
That lights my night,
I feel like the heavens have blessed me so,
That I get to carry such a precious life.
My darling, you will always be in my heart.
I have dreams about holding you.
I have dreams of the things that I can teach you.
I have imagined how you would sleep next to me.
I know you will have the most beautiful eyes and glorious smile.
Love is what you will always receive, my child.
You are still mine no matter what people may say,
Forgive me because I can't provide for you.
I can't give you a life better than the one I once knew.
But when you enter this world,
You will be loved by many and you will be surrounded by love.
You will be loved by me more than anyone else in the entire world.
Unfortunately, this will have to wait.
You will have to wait until the time is right.
Just don’t ever forget me.
Don’t forget that I have always loved you since I knew of you.
You’re the only person I love more than myself.
Forgive my negligence,
For I abandoned you,
Please don’t think I’m being selfish, even though I can be at times.
I’m doing this out of love.
And never forget that you are the most important thing to me.
But fear and guilt is the burden I bear.
I alone carry this burden.
Because I believe that every life is precious,
Yet, I’m killing a life that I helped create.
A murderess I have become.
I know that I am a natural born sinner like every human being.
But I have to commit the ultimate sin!
I have to kill a life that never knew the world.
Only almost-mothers can understand where I’m coming from…
Can we be forgiven?
But I guess we need to forgive ourselves first.
Because whatever a mother does, is an act of love.,