Acceptance

I've found a way to look through my mirror
For the first time in my life


Past the assymetrical traits
God drew crudely while I was
In the womb
Past the nose I loathed
For its slant and it's bony lump
Past my unruly curly brunette locks
And every pore I still obsess over


I dug myself out of the hole
Self loathing buried me in
Now my undecided grey/blue eyes
Aren't caked with a lens of self hate
It burned
God knows, it burned


My eyes had been dry
A long time
Deprived of the cooling splash
Acceptance wouldn't provide
I'd needed to clear away the dirt
It hurt
God knows, it hurt


I threw away the offering plate
I religiously asked for the sustenance
Of other's opinions
I'd used the funds to pay for fuel
To throw on the fire in my
Stomach
It sizzled every time the smoke drifted
Into my brain's little lungs
My thoughts turned black and ashy and soon...


My body was a house fire


The walls of my consciousness turned grey
My positivity became depraved
I thought the sun looked away


But now I'm okay
'Cause down in the depths of my chest
I found a water hose
I sprayed down the remains of my body
And found peace of mind
Contedness
And my God
In the rubble

This poem is about: 
Me

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