A letter to mi abuela,
I love you.
Even if you hate that I say it in English sometimes, it still carries the rich rivers of tamarindo & mango juice.
I know you grandma.
I know English is foreign on your tongue the same way it is to your ears,
But I promise it will find its way to your heart, through the creases of your smile.
let it soak in.
Your teeth shine like you ate diamonds for breakfast,
your cheeks are the color of caramel syrup on pancakes.
Carousels cover the color of your eyes.
I could surf on the cursive of your hair.
You are the surface of the sun,
So Beautiful & So bright.
The world needs to notice you more.
Nobody ever appreciates how important the sun is, until it's gone.
I acknowledge your struggle grandma.
I know raising 6 kids in a room wasn't your fault.
Single mothers go through thorns and flames,
But you made it out just fine.
I know your palms still ache from holding the ceiling in place for my mother, my aunts & my uncles...
You are the strongest woman I know.
You cradled all six of your children on your smile,
even if you knew there would be no food that night,
Love becomes a 5 course meal you need to stay alive.
I feel your pain grandma,
I know having people taking advantage you,
Because of what you can't comprehend is cruel,
They only love Spanish culture when it's not affecting them.
It stings every ounce of my heart, when my grandma tells me “what is the point of learning English if I'll be gone before i can say I love you back”,
It feels like I failed her.
like I disappoint her.
it hurts to see my grandma struggle with words,
like language is another barrier she has to sneak pass.
her mouth has been boarded up like empty homes,
My grandma, is an empty home.
But she stands bold with no support.
I feel your hardships grandma.
The ocean tried to swallow you, you had some hardships grandma.
Your name will never sink in these waters.
I tied a rope to every syllable of your name,
Just in case it falls under pressure.
& you are still above water.
Every vein in your body connects to your heart,
like all bridges lead to kingdoms,
I love seeing my mother happy,
Because I can see my grandmother smile as well.
like a 2 for 1 deal,
I am all about finding the value in love.
My grandma knows struggle, better than she knows joy.
She knew rape before sex, almost like she scars before scabs.
She broke the ocean in half to get here.
She is the strongest woman I know.
truth is I wrote this poem for you years ago,
in every family dinner,
Every Sunday mornings,
I've learned to appreciate every moment with you,
because you helped me grow,