8 a.m. my mom
8 a.m.
my mom calls me
and i'm scared she knows
about everything i did last night
and last week
and the week before that.
10 a.m.
i took a nap for an hour
and woke up groggy,
feeling dead inside.
12 p.m.
i swallowed a pill or two
and a liter of water.
i thought maybe it would ease the pain
but the headache stayed
and i still wanted to die.
2 p.m.
a friend called me but i had my phone on silent
so i missed it.
i didn't call back.
4 p.m.
breakfast.
6 p.m.
i watched ten minutes of three different t.v. shows
before i opened a new tab and watched youtube videos.
8 p.m.
thoughts of calling my mom came to me
but i figured i would just do it later
or tomorrow.
10 p.m.
the stars were hidden behind the fog.
i scowled when i realized that.
i'd been wanting to see them.
12 a.m.
it was quiet
save for tapping
and breathing
and the occasional words i muttered.