312am
Another restless night
Thoughts aren’t right
Anxieties are rough and crushing
Mind holds a vice grip but squeezes it all too tight
Took some sleep aid
Tripled the dose
Will I ever just relax?
Hell only knows
New symptoms, new signs
Exhausted from walking wavering lines
Feels like I wrote this yesterday,
Must have written it hundreds of times
Mother tries to listen but only hears
She can’t comprehend my inner fears
I don’t put them on the surface
To control their worry, is my purpose
I’m not too scared but I think they’d be
I can’t discuss with them the real me
The me with no fears, cares, or dreams
Destined for a numb life as it seems
Won’t do it myself but I want a way out
Nothing left but tormenting self doubt
Please just let it all fade to black
Too many scars that I can’t take back
332 A.M. Now I’ve been at this for twenty minutes
Rambling, writing, watching the clock change digits
I’ll try again I guess and close my eyes
If it just so happens tonight, I loved you guys.