A 10 Letter Name.

Her grip was like claws around my throat

dragging me down

making me ebb away into the distance. 


She sat on my pillow every night and asked me

what she was doing there

why she had always been there.


Growing up with her was as if I was swimming through concrete just trying to survive.


I started to see her in everything. 

From my third grade best friend to my favorite television show. 

It was like finding a body of someone you forgot you tried to kill. 


And I still count the days I thought I would get over her.

I thought she would move out like a bad ex-boyfriend

but she still kept herself in my contact list.

Always there.

Never moving.


She started to become only a 10 letter name when I met you 

Looking back at childhood I didn't know I had the choice to fix a problem like you

with only one swallow.

And I remeber all the times I wrote with silver and still got red over her 

but now

I am better





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