Feet ached as i hiked

swollen eyes, tired mind

carrying in a metal tin

my words

i swam through a river

of my own agony

gasping for relief 

like a fish for water

crawled up a river bank

scattered with the remnants of what

i never had

i slashed through my envy

in the jungle of unbrideled anger

my precious parcel hanging on my chest

as i collapsed onto my knees

begging the world for mercy

i saw it

my mouth

finally i was able to limp my way over to it

and place at the entrance

my precious words

and out they tumbled

honest and soaked with relief

now i could speak me

the real me

the autistic me

who traveled across the landscape of my mind

to deliver my message

from me to you

and that will always be

my inspiration for growth

for i had surived 

so long

burdened by pain which i struggled to express

that i am now free of

it only took me seventeen years

and eight hospitalizations

a million tears

and my entire being

but its over

and the air outside smells fresh

and my words glisten in the light

free for all to see