I needed it.
Release.
You know, let go.
Be gone.
Release.
Where was this magnanimous means that would submerge my problems
Flush out my feelings
Bequeath my body with boldness
Gift my body with hope
Metamorphosize my mentality
And bear no malice towards my past iniquities
Release..
Strong to ooze out the crevices of my despair like festering mold
Release.
I needed it.
So I looked.

Unfulfilled, belly empty
So I parted my lips welcoming
Sweet, savory, salty, tastes on my tongue
all these edibles eased it all
Made life fun, almost enjoyable
Comfort food became my love
Grandmas Gushing gallops of gravy, water falling over mounds of potatoes
Sandwiches scattered together fit for a kings court
A summer's Popsicle trickling onto my taste buds making the heat die
Eating
Eatin
Eating
Kept eatin delectables
But it only added big thighs and a fatter ass
And that release died

Unloved, heart cold
So I bursted my body to him
He said open up girl, let me in
Damnyousofine
I will never hurt you
Just open up, girl
He smiled, open up
So I did.
Thought he loved me
Opened my mind
Opened my soul
Opens my mouth
Closed me eyes
Open my legs
Entering a world of orgasmic adventures
Lovemaking left me falsely engaged
Thought he lived me
So I kept handing myself over
Made me wet
From the kisses on my neck
From the caresses on my back
From the licks on my lips
From the thrusts in my flesh
Made me wet, in the eyes
From the yelling, forcing itself in my ears
From the slaps across my face
From the punches to my eye
From the hands clasped around my neck
Ceasing oxygen to flow longer
And my world became even darker
Wake Up
Wake up
Wake up, she said
When I did I just looked back into that dark love again
Asked, love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Do you?
Love me?
I whispered
I do, he said
I do
I do
I do
But he left,anyway.
And that release died.

Stressed, mind cluttered
So I inhaled that green, whatever it was
Pineapple Express
purple kush
Loud
Whatever. Didn't matter.
Inhaled, blow out, pass it.
Inhale, blow, pass.
Cycled.
Laughter escapes
Whites of my eyes befriend crimson shades
Hehe
Got them munchies
Crispy chips, chapped lips
Crush that shit
Roll up, hit
I'm lifted again
No worries because I was above the world
Floating
Flying
Gliding
But then I fall back down
Crash
And I go lower than before
And that release died.

Misguided, eyes discouraged
So I placed my palm in her hands
Part desperation, part curiosity,
My eyes watched as she felt the lines
Fortelling my journeys beyond the present
I didnt fully believe it
somehow those creases and crevices she traced encompassed my destinies
voo doo emblems
Tarot card
Black magic
This is where I had turned
Bogus psychic and cosmic realities
pulled from cluttered constellations and unknown nebulas
starsplanetsmoons to profess the path my feet should follow
Supernatural spirits must have some knowledge
No
No
No
Ridiculous
Snatched my hand away
And that release died.

Release.
Release.
Release.
Where.
Are.
You.

look up, she said
Lift your head in the lowest moments
Created in beauty, manifested by grace
look up!
Child, look up!
Look up to the skies. they ain't filled will cumulus clouds and sultry sunsets for nothing
Representations, reminders of grand creations
Your kingdom was created in divine love
That is your release
So look up girl!
Look up you silly girl!
Your release is your Lord.
Look up!
Let HIm take in
And no longer will your days be in ruin
He will feed you
He will love you
He will lift you
He will guide your future
So just simply look up!
Pray. Try. Study.
You are not perfect.
So look up!
And I did.

Release?
Release?
Release?
I call,
Look up to the heavens.