i honestly dont know what you expected

this isnt a poem

you want to know how much i want attention?

yeah

me too.

most people say i cut for attention

but i dont. 

i cut because it takes the emotional badness away

i cut becuase it makes me feel better

i cut because it hurts

i cut because i can

i cut because its pretty.

so fuck you. fuck you for clicking this. fuck you for reading this, for wanting to know how much i want some fucking attention. okay? now are you mad at me? good, you should be. im a terrible person. i hate my family, legitimately hate them sometimes. they should never have had kids. they wonder why i have severe depression, anxiety. they wonder why i want to kill myself, and say im ungrateful and selfish when i say they cause it. they think theyre good parents, but good parents wouldnt punish their son if they found his blades, saw his cuts. good parents wouldnt go through their kids stuff just to tell him 'hey we read your notebook, shut the fuck up and get back to work you lazy ass'. im sorry for the cursing. i dont usually...i just need it to express how much this fucking hurts.

im so cold. inside and out. my heart is freezing, and itll eventually break so much i wont be able to pretend i put it together good. so many people have smashed it to pieces, it no longer even resembles a heart. ive given it to so many people, just to have it stomped on, laughed at. never again. never again will i give it away. i dont care if im lonely, never again will anyone get my heart. no one wants a suicidal boy anyway.

kill me please. 

im begging you.