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if he hadn’t I wouldn’t know how to love you like this
OR
the trumpet solo at the beginning of pictures at an exhibition as a guide for turning you into something I can stomach
For the first time in a long time I am writing about being alone, but not in my usual way,
Usually when I talk about being alone, it is in a negative way, and it leaves me with only sad things to say.
I already sat down. I had inhaled. I had exhaled.
The gun I couldn’t find. Had no time to find a lake so yes I will wait.
My thoughts don’t wait though, but wonder.
Now... “ It’s Just Who I Am “... !!!
A Man Who Chats FACTS In Spoken Word Tracks... !!!
Or YES... Poems That REJECT Nonsense... !!!
Because What I AM Is A REJECTOR of Sham’s... !!!
Watch as I burn,And turn into ashes.Look at the smoke,The ember, and the spark,As they fade through the dark.As if they were nothing.As if they were a dream.And now, you’re finally awake.
This Poem RELEASES.........................
Some TRUE Self ADMISSIONS... !!!
Ya Know …
My Form of... " Spiritual "...
Is Really... Quite Simple...
Live In PEACE And KEEP Negativity...
Where It... NEEDS To Be... !!!
A patch of growing hair on an otherwise bare head,
A thumb in a mouth that speaks
Undeveloped words,
That forms a smile purely for the joy of
Smiling.
I realized I wasn't a kid no moreat the age of 10.I started living aloneNot because I had no parentsbut because they were never home,where I am And even when they were home,time was never taken
I have never done this before.
It's a calm autumn afternoon in my high school foods room.
I'm volunteering for a children's cooking class by helping them cut their apples.
She came into herself
By picking up the pieces of who she once was;
The pieces she once thought she had to leave behind.
She started with her kindness,
Sometimes I wonder
If I ever was a kid.
I'm no Benjamin Button, sure
And I've not toiled like so many others had to
But I've had my own struggles, too.
Sometimes I wonder
i wish summertime was more than just gentle breezes flowing through windows.
a pool like an altar.
no one to worship, though,
where have you been.
I returned home from Atlantis
with new armor and a new head —
blades still sharp from the last stoning —
feeling very nearly a tourist in my own land.
My aspirations were like grand constellations
Plucking one dream after the next
Then came the Big Bang of adolescence
With every burning goal
Came a larger person
To put it out
Is there a point to all this?
Some sense of release hidden behind years of
Doubtful ventures into nothing.
Can I outstretch these fastened wings,
And search for some greater feeling,
There is race of little monsters,
Their numbers are countless,
And they live everywhere.
They cannot be seen.
They have no smell.
They have no discernable form.
Shuck-Lily cuts herself and, by God,
I'm back in love again,
This is not my responsibility,
So why am I tending to you like an animal?
You are 58 inches
of unbridled fury.
The chocolate stars
that you use to look up
at the people around you
are riddled with dry tears.
The hold that you had found in my veins,
was not found without warning.
It was preceded by a feeling
That weighed heavy in my chest.
There's that one word...
It keeps me from succeeding...
Failure.
It's bound to happen,
So why try to be
Successful?
I do nothing
Because I won't win.
I miss chances
always follow your ambitions even if you don't know where they may lead. chase your goals and grasp them in your hand like a rope that's pulling you into the life that you want.
[I] approach the tipping point
the straw that broke [my] back.
at a loss for words
expression has no expression, is not an expression
anymore.
the way [I] feel
when all the words - all the thoughts
It feels like I'm falling,
Down.
It seems like I'm running,
Out.
I think I'm dying,
Inside.
My mind,
It thinks,
It speaks,
and I believe.
I wish it would go.
My heart beats fast,
My breath sounds loudly,
This is fear,
In all it's forms,
Fear,
Will be your enemy,
Gives you wings,
Fear,
It is such a simple concept,
Fear is,
Open arms.
Waiting.
A rush of adrenaline,
A shiver of anticipation,
One. Two. Three.
My throat feels dry as I swallow hard.
Time seems to stand still.
Fuzzy hands, fuzzy face.
A friend of mine asked me to write a poem
about myself, and for the first time, I was left
Ink splattered across my browHold the pen don't let it fallAll their stares part the crowd.Don't let them jump the wall
Personally, combining thesaurus with meter with soul
Offers satisfaction of expression and communication and release—
Emptying an ever-filling well-spring by waxing eloquent—
Wheels bearing stiffly on a frozen road,shoes clatter softly on fallen snow,a veil of black covers swollen eyes.
We stood like embers in the mist
Smoldering within the waste
Like waterfalls we drank our sins
To follow gods to hell in haste
Dear Apollo,
You are the God of so many things.
You may have already noticed this,
but I have too.
I noticed you are the God of sunlight,
Dear Happiness,
Please don't ever leave me.
I wish to be hand-in-hand with you until the end.
Continue to spread your wings and soar to unreachable heights.
Dear Anxiety,
Drooping eyes struggling
To catch one last glimpse of a
Conscious, restless world
Drawing eyes is like creating my audience.
My audience that so generously
criticizes every one of my moves.
My audience that doesn't dare to train their gaze
off me.
These borders that divide us define our opportunities.
Developing surrounds the developed.
If it wasn't for these separations, could we all have equal opportunities?
Dear so-called family,
You know who you are,
We share the same father
And the same type of blood.
The last time we spoke
Was during dad’s funeral,
“Don’t worry” You said,
Lo mismo
Un angel maldicho
una prostituta debil
un rey mudo
una silla en medio del bosque
un coche sin manejador
You are still my muse.
When i don’t know what to write i turn to You.
You are my fountain of youth; You replenish me.
i’ll never forget what being in love with You felt like
my parents fell out of love
screaming silently
they never fought, it was only
tight lipped smiles and
white knuckles on coffee mugs
not listening when the other spoke
and finding away to disagree
Hello, I’m—different.
I was in first grade when I knew I was different.
Ironically, I knew I was different because all I did was hang out with girls.
Keep your head up princess
When they look you up and down don't bother just walk on
When they stop in their tracks its bc you're beautiful
When they tell u that u don't match you say i know
I have devils in my pocket.
Two little devils.
They snag crumbs from my plate,
They wait patiently outside the shower,
They sit on my night stand as I sleep.
Sometimes they are more noticable,
Finding someone who is caring, careful, conscientious is far more difficult than I’d like it to be.When I found you I felt at peace, I felt like the world finally had meaning, motive, mind.When I met you my anxiety emerged its way back out of the
The pulse meant you were alive,rocking back and forth, i cried last night,something about how difficult life was, saying we had the same conversation a million fucking times,
You come home and slowly close the door,
The smile you had on slowly fades away,
You stand there for a while,
Unable to move,
Unable to breathe,
Suddenly you fall back,
The door supports you,
37.1 trillion cells
23 pairs of chromosomes
46 chromosomes total
4 stories
The pigment of my skin, a reminder of the humid city my family came from.
Today I fucked on a letter you wrote
to me a long time ago
What it means?
I dont know.
But you wrote about
Our garden.
(Intro)why we gotta take it there Babe, you know I ain't tryna go there.what happened to us.
I entered into an unfamiliar room
Didn’t know what to come of it.
Leaving old friends behind
Will always leave a wound
Looking for the light
SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT IT’S LIKE IN THAT MAN’S SHOES AND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE SO LOVED, AND UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOURSELF
Am I ready for you?The love you want to giveThe patience you have that's real.The touches I can already feel.Getting myself prepared for the thrillMakes me wanna already sign the deal.
I’m in love with the kilometres between us, I’m in love with the distanceBetween your eyes and my eyes and your arms and my arms and your place and mineI like that you like what I like and that I like what you like
Eyes heavy, body trembling, nightmares vast. She's harassed by the forecast of the past. Demons disguised in the form of lovers Until she discovered their true colors. She was used and abused,
i tried.
that is all
it's not enough for most.
but i tried
and that's just for me
not for me to boast.
i'm telling you
-the void
because I know you can't reply.
i don't think it was direct,
the way i was told i was only meant
for frills and ball gowns
and vhs tapes i dreamt would leak into real life
but i was still told, wasn't i
Do you remember?
How we used to play pretend?
And giggle and laugh
Until the day's end?
Do you remember?
The many adventures we took
Together as partners,
With every step, the earth shook
Ick Ick IckPick Pick PickTrich Trich Trich.So here's my sob story.November 2006, was when I hit the trich...No, 2007.When you came into my life, after my grandma and dad went to heaven
every year for as long as i can remember
my mom has tried to grow a rose bush.
key word tried.
One: When I was three years old I told everyone I knew that I was an alien from Pluto. I was born as a daughter of Pluto. I crawled my way out of the dust I was conceived in.
Through the morning clouds they fall,
These tiny cannon balls.
They hit the ground and puddle and muddle the noises with a huddled pitter patter sound.
Trapped.
I'm trapped.
Unable to move
Unable to think
Unable
Helpless as the tide washes over
And I feel like my skin is on fire
My body hurts
Every step sends electricy
The world I live in grows dimmer each dayOver time my sight just fades awayAs blindness moves in I take a step backKnowing that darkness is on the attackBut will it be so bad to live like this
till the limbs can't breathe
stepping, always
continuing
time is freely yours
the sights before you make it worth
the sky is beneath
vibrations make waves, joy
happiness is for thee
The pain and agony you feel
Oh I know it's all so real
I've been there just like you
Feeling like you can't push through
I was pathetic.I was lost.I wasn’t me anymore…. because of you.
I would indulge in..I would desperately seek.I would want…. alcohol because of you.
From youth, I knew not all plants grow --
Some are cut at the roots,
Some sprout of row,
And some never see the light of day
And feel the rain on their leaves
And the sun on their cheeks
My first taste of freedom was in dorm
Locked up indoors previously my norm
Naively thinking I could live anew
Yet wasted was my time being spent indoors
My heart wants change but my mind loudly snores
Get out of the path of the king!
The galactic siren sounds,
and wails off the walls and down the hall.
It is his gentrification, his royalty, his vehemence
Pounding his fists like a verocious animal
A door
A door with chips in the paint,
reminded me much of 2016.
A year full of dread,
for me, that is.
The knob shined as bright as a newborn star,
representing the new year that was yet to come.
When mistakes are made and all hope is gone,When you're no longer seen with trust anymore,The school year, tonight, is said and done,All opportunities have closed their door.
Still and silent
I float in the deep blue,
the ocean is my master
and I its slave.
Heels, check.
Face, check.
Glasses – better leave those here – check.
Hello! I am new to this and this is my first poem. The grammar isn't perfect and I'm not sure if this was the best way to set it out but please give me feedback on what you think :-)
We broke a lot of things last year
Just to build something new;
Something that grew my fear
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
We broke a friendship last year
Just to rekindle an old one;
I am a cookie cutter
Sharp edges and commonplace
Useless on my own
I am a cookie cutter
Brown bright eyes as a college freshman
12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, this is how much time ive spent growing
all this time was spent knowing
who I am, what I want to achieve and what I want to be
a year can seem so vast
a year can seem so fast
There are cracks in the sidewalk that represent my life;A broken home;A broken family;Needing something to mold to.I've become the flower sprouting throughThat people tend to walk upon.
I've seen through my eyes,
A world laid out before me.
A world that's experienced a year of growth,
A year of pain,
A year of change.
A lot can happen in a year,
The discovery of a new hobby,
Music is my lifeblood
It’s everything I am
My soul is made of music notes
My heartbeat is a drum
My ears are full of melodies
She grows up
She's not the same as she was first born
she grew bigger than I had imagined
She's more taller
and has a beautiful stance whenever she aligns her feet underneath
the doorway of my room
Appreciated, Accepted, Assuaged--all things that signify respect, and yetwe are left with copious amounts of Belittlement, Bias, Brokenness.Individuality is SADISTICALLY strangled.
Hazelnut danced in her eyes
Honeysuckle kissed her lips
Hibiscus sprung from her cheeks
While curves blessed her hips
Shes as witty as they come
Driven and spontaneous
“yeah, I used to get panic attacks myself.” my ease surprises me. I’m relaxed, not like the calm before a storm when havoc is about to wreak. just calm. no storm.
I wish I was still afraid of the dark.
that I didn’t know what rests in swirling cloaks of black,
that I didn’t remember where the hard hip of the kitchen counter was,
or the swinging dress in the doorway.
Early and late this past school year,
I could not say why life was good.
Until summer came, as it should,
And brought with it purpose and cheer!
A summer course for those like me,
Captivating is what I aim to be,
Stealing your breath with just one look at me.
Magnetic, intoxicating, and exemplary.
Raw is what I aim to be,
Shoveling driveways, my ligaments at risk of a deep freeze, I earn my worth.Saving money, temptations of Pinterest, I earn my worth.Studying units, sleep deprivation clawing at the backs of my eyelids, I earn my worth.Building a GPA, drowning in a
I should never have written poetry for you.
I respect that you care for yourself,
But I hate that you never learned how to care for others.
Always have open eyes to the world around you
And open ears to the sounds that surround you
But if it is negative thoughts or words being said
Dont let them in for they will surely drown you
I use to have stuffLots of stuff Stuff that I woreproudlyStuff that I carried around in my pocket stuffStuff that I woundplace in placesamong other stuffto be seenby others who probably had theirown stuff I really lovedmy stuff Now I can not ev
My boat drifts away from the dock
I sit and watch my dreams die.
How do I say, “it is okay, you have a plan.”
You do have a plan, right?
The boat drifts to the horizon, my stomach drifts with it.
i breathe.
my throat is tight from
too much singing and
the anxiety that follows
my audition
-the look in my teacher's eyes
is not responsive when
the last note resonates
I saw the stars in your eyes--and I also watched them burn out.
You showed me a whole other universe, and I got lost in it.
The fulgent naked stars
pore over me;
down they stare
from beneath their nebulous blankets
in the early hours of the morning
when all the world is asleep--
all but them and me.
My Ars Poetica: A Different Kind of Animal
Nothing turns a stomach like the rancid aura that cradles the furry carcass of a life that once was.
Time rushes by as I sit here,
All around me the world is constantly expanding
Shifting and shrinking,
Lives are changing,
Milestones, Tragedies and Miracles are passing by
And here I sit,
Still,
Poetry is the words
The words I can't say
The words I just don't speak
They won't come out
But the paper and pen
They see the words
The ink will stain my skin
The way the words
Make me look, because I don't want
to. Make me see it, because I
don't want to. But it's there. Its
staring me in the face, and I can't take it
anymore. Hate.
Thats it.
In verse, I found
a meaning. In meaning,
I found an essence.
Through words and verse,
through lines and meaning, I
lived. Expression became the force that
tied me to the ground while
Poetry is smudging my hand on paper.
3 AM writing sessions.
The smell of the paper as I put my heart onto it.
Poetry is falling in love with the right man.
Leaving little notes on his desk.
On my way out the door,
I tiptoe
Making certain the only sounds to be heard
Are the low hum of the crickets
And the faint buffeting of the wind over soft grass
Five, Seven, Five.
Who knew these numbers would be my drive.
All I had known a poem to be
was words with rhyme and rhythem so free.
A childs game was all it became.
Oh see and observe.
I write because: It gives me a reason to breathe.Gives me a reason to close my eyes, release the words scratching at the insides of my cheeks.With trembling fists, I'm able to spill each and every drop of bad blood onto a clean, white sheet of loo
I am a woman of weakness.<br> I will never believe that <br> I can succeed at anything<br> And because I know<br> I am a failure and a waste like people say<br> I just don't understand how<br> I can be brave and
You tripped into my lifewith a pen behind one ear,just looking for some new skinto write on.I hear it’s easierto write your lyrics outon someone else’s wrists,feeling your soulspilled
All come into the world in the same way
We spend nine months in warm darkness
Then when it is time we are cast away
Into the cold bright sharpness
12.23.15
Who I am,
I forgot.
What I know,
I just thought.
Where I belong,
I have sought.
When I lie,
I get caught.
Why I live,
I know not.
4.07.16
He left me in March
buried beneath the dirt.
The showers poured in April
and cleaned away the hurt.
I will blossom in May,
for this is my rebirth.
Painfully shy, an introvert, without many friends
A child of divorce, found salvation with a pen
Black and blue world, smudged ink on her hands
Wrote herself a ticket to faraway dreamlands
My peers look at me.
They expect to see something that I simply am not.
They want to see a good girl.
Who has it all going on.
Grades.
Body.
A strive for excellence.
I was only fourteen when everyone around me started to grow up,
For they were passing themselves off as if they were twenty-one,
Spending their Friday nights drowning their veins in alcohol,
Distant
I look back at you fondly
I have loved and hated you
We been apart for so long
I thought I missed you but I didn’t
You leaving, changed me.
It sounds like the wind rustling through the trees.
It smells like the air after a long rain.
It tastes like strawberry licorice.
If only it were light
That you desperately needed,
But it's not.
I'd light up your world
So you'd have to spin around
And rethink it all--again
But the tragedy is
You're gone
Her touch saves
And her heart cries
Though she'll silence it
For their sake
She doesn't chase the wake
Emotions fragile like a kid
Squinting for the trip wire
Closes her eyes till it goes away
i cant let this break me. i cant let this stop me from being who i want to be. i have to keep moving forward even if my heart is stabbing my chest like sharp pieces of glass. i have to pull myself along even if my lungs are filled with fire.
At first glance,
I swore I became blind
By the sight of dazzling,
And flawless, lovely perfection
Of musical movement that swayed
My adolescent blue eyes.
At first glance,
If the world was on its last day
Would you take your hand in mine?
We can step back and watch life play
Before our eyes like a movie
If the world’s disapproving
We can forget it all
Sexuality is a complex concept.
If I got specific about my sexual and romantic orientation,
The most accurate way to describe my preferences would be:
She wore it to his funeral,
But it’s also the aura of her soul.
It’s murder in cold blood; she stabbed him 27 times.
It’s the colour of hearts breaking apart,
The colour of death and imperfection.
Little girl sits in her room terrified,
“The monsters in my head won’t leave me be…”
“Go away, go away,” she softly cried.
“I can’t close my eyes ‘cause they’re all I see.”
People mistake my sadness for poetry,
But what they don’t realize is,
It’s just my soul bursting from me.
My mistakes,
My heartaches,
My life,
My strife.
I write them all out,
Across the scarlet horizon she stares,
Her motivation gone, she no longer cares.
Closer and closer to the edge she creeps,
“He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me,” is all she speaks.
“Can we be friends?” he asked.
“Sure.” She lied.
(I just wanted more…)
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.” She lied.
(I’m dying on the inside…)
“I’m always here for you.” He said.
Your eyes used to shine with the stars,
Like constellations in the night.
Now they flicker with uncertainty,
Dimness…
Like a firefly slowly dying,
Losing its spark.
What used to be, isn’t.
You’re a fragile spirit, afraid to leave the grave of which you were laid to rest.
Metaphorically, of course…
Flowers used to grow in your veins and now they’ve long withered away and died.
In English class, predictably,
The teacher told us patiently
About the forms of poetry
And how to write them well.
Entranced by artful imagery
I read them quite ecstatically
Through the years my heart had been stifled
The childhood songbird lost its voice
And the feathers of its wings were plucked
Until all that was left was withered
You’ve changed.That’s what they keep telling me.
You’ve… changed.
Of course,you’re right.I’m not thevulnerable,young girlI used to be.
We've been taught to hide behind prose So that no matter what the words say nobody truly knows What's going through our heads Ever hour until we finally turn in to our beds.
some people strike oil when they dig deep
for me it was words
each time a drill bit hit
me, bored a hole
in my soul with unkind words,
unwant, I wrote,
to have some form of pain that
It’s not depression
It’s not suicidal
It’s not anxiety
Because I tell myself
It’s not
Others have it worse
My mind is a labyrinth of riddles and mistakes
And stories my heart yearns to share.
My mouth is numb and stiff,
A silent machete destroying the tangles of my brain,
Poetry and I,
We are inseparable.
We are long lost friends
Who found each other
Inside cracks of foaming hate
And melting sorrow.
Poetry and I,
We are connected by truth.
i remember what it felt liketo feel.
when red was aheart, still beating,and blue was your eyes,not the color of the wavesholding me under,pushing me under,helpless.
With the flow of angry fighting words, I take my final stand
Soaring brighter ever higher in the fire of my own hands
My great song will not diminish in this whirl of wonder when
I have nothing to say that has not already been said.
This exact sentence in this exact way has already been formed.
I cannot be clever the way you ask me to because clever is a cliché.
Clever shadows cutthroat.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I wish I had as much privilege™ as you.
I wish I could get away with being
As generic,
As white,
As male,
And as ignorant and original™
Walk the walk
Without it, I can’t.
Talk the talk
Without it, I shan’t.
We all have one.
Actually, two!
You are a child,
and darkness is all you know. All you have in this world are the earth's
teeth that you cling to in your sleep, and a candle on your bedside.
All I need is peace,
a place for my demons to rest
peacefully.
No more fighting
no more ripping myself a part.
All I need is happiness,
to be able to look in a mirror and not feel
disgusted
All I need
Is a sweet summer breeze
A melody singing in my head
A beat flowing through my body
Lyrics both clean and naughty
Neverending even in bed
A rhythm flows through me
My Identity
The one thing I can’t live without is
my identity.
It tells me who I am
and where I go.
I am not solitary.
I require the love of others, as do we all
to be happy.
I need occasional attention;
I need encouragement;
I need to be reassured, and hugged,
and appreciated.
And here I stand,
With my mind and me
To orchestrate my ability.
I can count the sand
Or analyze the land.
Anything I see,
Belongs to Me.
Because the mind that moves the hand
When I was three years old,
And admittedly, not yet very bold,
I was given a pink Powerpuff Girls pillow by my parents to hold,
It would give me magic powers too I was told,
Wherever I may go
I know where I have been.
My grandfather, has lost this.
For everything he sees,
he does not remember.
Memories make us who we are.
Without them,
we are a lost cause.
i had a dream about you again
i looked you in the eyes and said 'sorry i still think about you'
you always lived so intensely and i admired it (thanks to my ignorance)
"I love you Grandma!" I said hugging her knees
Little me knew her value even then
Her warm hugs
Her white hair
Her eyes that squinted when she smiled
That nose that every Ramsay shares
Think harder and you'll notice
all the things
I hate
about you;
the way you talk
as if everything is so
important;
the way you act
as though your words
are rich
Do I love myself? Do I hold my own dear? Do I wake up and live a life of no fear?
Do I look in the mirror and see a queen? Do I look at my hands and feel machine?
I have procrastinated on many things, including my delivery day.
I was the expected 2nd birth, but the unexpected 3rd child.
Economics is the study of choice.
When partaking in economics,
one of the main problems is sustaining the wants and needs of a society.
Because we face the problem of scarcity,
I woke up craving you.
What is really new?
I love you,
But do you really love me too?
Or is that just more lies
that I believe when looking
into those pretty hazel eyes.
There’s something about bold font
That stands out from the normal lettering
subconsciously hollering within one’s head
Because it all started with a young boy entering junior high,
Pull me into your chest.
Cover me with your body and
I will forget all the reasons I have to run
We will sleep through the sunrise
I remember every day that we would spend together. I let it get the best of me cause I can still feel your hands hold mine when you were scared. The tone of your voice when you'd cry on the phone. Your swelled eyes when you'd stare at me.
Days like todayMore ordinary than the lastmake my veins achemy knees wobblemy ribs rattle
I am shaken into existenceInto a reality of unnecessary expectationsof inevitable failure
Men are supposed to love you.Hold your hand and tell you that you are pretty. He said I was beautiful when he held me by the throat and tried to slip my innocence into his back pocket.The words rolling off his tongue caught my skin like a zipper a
I’m a machine,
[whirring]
A robot in disguise,
An impostor walking through the world.
Seeing, learning, recording,
But never truly being.
[Click. Click. Click.]
The chill hurtles towards you
Slicing your body
Dissolving you into nothing but hard, hard ice
It strips you off everything you have ever had
And leaves you with nothing but
Black gloves of ice on your hands
You may think this isn’t needed
And it probably isn’t
But I’ll say it anyway
I’m sorry
any attempt to useone word to describe mewould be as hopeless asfinding a waterfall in a desertalthough if i was to truly tryi think i'd start withdynamicwith a tendency to connect
I am the puzzle piece
one that doesn't quite fit
with the rest.
I am the white crayon
trapped in a box
that no one will let free.
I am a kite on a
stormy wet day
sitting in a corner.
One
The first is always the hardest. You have to push yourself into it. Cutting into innocence, cutting into your soul. At first it stings but soon it subsides and you crave the lingering feeling of control.
Dear Younger Me
Life will not be easy
Be Prepared
Be ready
You’ll go through it all.
From death, to depression
For all intents and purposes,
I am a mess,
Like a child's finger painting is art,
And like a child, I'm a little too confident
To be meandering around like I know
Where I'm going
Am I the sum of my parts?
Am I the sum of my interests?
Am I the sum of what I have created?
As time moves on
I find myself turning to this idea
I keep going because I believe
The only thing on my mind is to achieve
Even when I fall down
I pick myself off the ground
Consantly push when things get rough
And try to make myself mentally tough
Inspired by the skies and the sunshine,
You're perfect in my eyes.
I'm obsessed with Your words
the beautiful melody of Your voice,
I hear you all day.. clouding my thoughts
Memory of you?
Will it take for me to become a martyr words for you understand my craft?
To die before my time; leaving behind a casket lined with the pages of my life
The explanation of my sacrifice
You tell me I’m nothing
You tell me I am worthless
That I have no talent
That no one really loves me
That they’re lying to me
On the first day of kindergarten music class, i cried because the teacher asked me to sing ‘my name is rachel’ and i thought it sounded dumb.
I am enough.
Despite what society tells me,
in terms of beauty and body and being,
I am enough.
Even though traditional values say my skin’s too dark,
There was a time when I wanted to be alone
little voices in
my head
said
you don't need anyone because
no one needs
you
Those words were all I could hear
For everyday I wake and for every step I make, a trail of emotions follow
Tears turn into one of those everyday things
You're used to all day and all night
It eventually turns into a river in seconds
Facebook
Request
Like
Message
Hey
Flirt
Date
Butterflies
Flirt
Date
Calls
Kisses
Deep conversations
From week to week and day to day
I’m one who never knows quite what to say.
When typing a paper or composing a text
It’s not hard; I know just what is next,
But when I’m surrounded by enemies and friends
Wake up everyday.
Get dressed everday.
Go to school everyday.
Hide everyday.
I was young,
Innocent,
Naive.
It happened to me.
I didn't know it was wrong.
I am a mess of emotions,
They flow from me so freely.
I am a mess of sadness,
Sometimes I don’t want to move.
I am a brave woman
Who fights for others.
I am bravery.
I am strong
so many obstacles have tried to get me to do wrong ,
yet I remained resilient
I know I can be brilliant
because I picked my head up through it all
don’t you want to hear, y’all?
I Am
Paint splashed onto weary walls
That have stood over centuries of the normal person.
Spots of color to prove I am different
Than the rest
Splotches that don't blend in
With the rest
I am a survivor
One of many
Same story different writing
So how am I unique?
I could go on and on
I am a survivor of domestic violence
I had Daddy Issues
I.
I am fascinated by numbers
I have an affinity for numbers.
I have written him 71 pages of poems.
14675 words and counting
2462 stanzas
3241 lines mounting.
Upon each other like
Gone
Like the warmth leaves you as you slide out of bed in the morning
Like the bad taste goes away as you brush your teeth
Like the circles under your eyes fade as you cake them with concealer
Gone, gone
Kat
The one with paint on her arms, with purple in her raven black hair.
The one with a pencil behind her ear, a sketchbook in her hand, a glint in her eye
Hazel eyes, that is, framed in intense blackness.
Depression, grabbing you by the throat and chaining you to your bed.
Identity is naught but illusion.
It is fragile and fluid and fleeting.
It encompasses a heart’s brief beating,
And vastly differs among everyone.
Identity is seen in name and face,
I am my own two cents.
When I hit the ground runnin' the devil says, "Oh shit!"
Never bite my tongue while I'm chasing the setting sun.
Because it ain't over 'til I say its done.
I am my biggest enemy.
I received a phone call from my father
Explaining that it was all too real
And all too sudden
This man he spoke of did not sound like the uncle, his brother I knew
Butterflies. Could they exist without it?
What about flowers? What about days and nights? What about sunsets? Sunrises? Rainbows? Stories? Songs? You?
What about you?
Could you exist without it?
Today I went through my poems
and threw out everything I ever wrote about you
Yesterday, I would have cried
When people say "the real world"
What they mean is:
Taxes,
Unfulfilling marriages,
Bitchy soccer moms,
Desk jobs.
I don't want their "real world."
I'll make my world.
I'd appreciate not being lied to
Or made a fool of.
I'd have sch joy,
I'd pick all theflowers
and plant them where rivers
had fell down my cheeks.
I'd share a dance with the rain
My wrists are clear
but my head is not
Everyone seems so proud
But I still hate myself
I have so many
If the things I wanted
The things that make me happy
And yet I'm already empty
Take a deep breath.
Inhale through your nose, 1 2 3 4 seconds, lungs filling with air, fit to burst
Hold it, waiting for the drop, then breath out, air whistling through your lips,
But silently, careful not to draw eyes.
poring over texts at 3am
wondering about what wasn't said
but more importantly the things you said with hidden, truer meanings
now you're asleep and it's too late to ask
I am a phoenix
Watch me burn
Been waitng all this tme to grasp my own rebirth
Stand up from the ashes letting the weight of the world fall from my grace
It's time to go
'you're like the leslie knope of gift giving' she said,
and i took it to heart
depression makes it so you constantly wonder why
why people like you
why people bother with you
why you have friends
why
She who runs.
There are those who run.
The murderers, the politicians, the Omelas.
There are many who run.
The lost, the purpose driven, the gifted.
But.
Behind the curtains of my eyes
Hides a glare
A stare
A lie
The carefully crafted façade
The fragile, cheap disguise
Behind a mask lies another
Feeble layer of an onion
I still dont know what it was when I fiirst saw you
You were different from the other guys I seen before
I was wondering where you been all my life
Why? Why me Lord? I always asked that same questions,
nothing more nothing less. I have a confession.
I am not happy.
I am not, was not happy with myself and was not happy with my life.
First thing's first I smirk instead of smile
This is who I am with #NoFilter
The latter done only once in a while
When I laugh by cause of my mister
Fond of all that is medicinal
I'm the moon,
not the star.
I'm more natural,
Normal.
I do not amaze,
not everyday.
I leave you
breathless
on November afternoons
when you see me through
I felt comfortable, still, and ready
While I sat with my mind set and steady.
I am smiling too wide,
I am looking too directly at the photo lens
Click. Click.
I tilt my head just a little bit further and I will feel pretty
Click. Click.
Too bright. Delete. Too shiny. Delete
veined ovals lean against the hose with small puddles,
guests: though one more a guest than the other
towards that end, and treading amongst the surface
she plays the Body living, breathing
spinning
I feel most alive on the US-15 with my mother, my father, and my puppy.
Maybe there was never just one reason
I fell in love with you
Maybe it was a hundred little things -
Behind the beige powder, behind the jet black liner,
Behind the brave brown eyes, behind the fake smile,
There is a girl.
Aside from the straight auburn hair, aside from the sculpted brows,
I am closing walls and open doors,
A memory painted on the windows of your soul
In any color you like, as long as it is a shade of black.
I am discontinuous, a broken mirror
I travel by train and I look out
My window, my legs are too close to the grey-man beside me
Headphones in, power chords, progressions
I am progressing, and my knees
Need a shave; they catch on the silk of his suit.
I wanted them to see me as art
to stand in awe and marvel
at the thought that such beauty existed
but i am not a monet
i am not a picasso
and as they realized that
Today, I look up to the Sky;
I see all the birds Sky high
Flying, making the Skky alive.
Today, I look down to the Ground;
I realized that I'm Ground Bound
Rooted, held down.
I guess I like the way the cigarette
Finishes the length of my arm
Fingers curled up
In a soothing smile
I won’t be scared at night
I won’t ever have to be alone
Killing me softly
I give in
I was wondering...
1. Do I really only have two followers who are interested in talking to me?
2. Do I not post enough?
3. Do I seem like a nuisance?
4. Am I one?
She came to me
Eyes filled with tear and she began to confine to me,
She said
"I fell in love with him because i thought he was best for me,
looking at the entire world in an illusion
Sadness does not come in the form of rainstorms
Here to kiss away the tears off of one's face
It is not the color of the blackest night
I hope I forget your eyes
And that I couldn't look way.
I hope I forget your smile
Because it makes me wish you'd stay.
I hope I never call you
When its late and I can't sleep.
Rolling out of bed
Thoughts clouding my head
Wishing I could take back the things that i've said
Don't remind me of the cold stares, At times I cant regonize the person in the mirror
Rolling out of bed
Thoughts clouding my head
Wishing I could take back the things that i've said
Don't remind me of the cold stares, At times I cant regonize the person in the mirror
My hair won’t fall right.
My socks don’t match.
This jacket’s too tight.
These jeans need a patch.
My bag isn’t Michael Kors.
My shirt’s not Ralph Lauren.
I can’t afford designer stores.
Poison
Slowly spreading through my veins
Silently killing
No one can see my pain
I have to shake it off, fight the feeling
Find the antidote
Seek my healing
Everyone is different,
I, just a little more than anyone else.
To me, I am
lost
insecure
hopeless
scared
To my family
lacking
imperfect
perfect
#nofliter
Why must we put a label on a picture that has nothing
but a fake smile and good lighting?
Because behind the raised eyebrows and the plastered grin on our face
HAHA
No Filter
Haha
Pure face
Haha
Hidden disgust
Haha
Beautiful lies
Haha
Look at my face
haha. .
my laugh is weird. .
haha. .
I'm just kinda queer
You gotta start with need. A whole lot of need.
Needing comfort, needing love, needing attention, needing support, needing guidance.
Impressive in your eyes I seem,
but more Impressive yet are you
who believe in my life so vague,
filtered to exclude the truth.
My anxious fingers produce
Hairy Armpits
“Just wax, or shave, or pluck that hair.”
Don’t you see I really don’t care?
“Oh my god that’s so gross, ew!”
They don’t bother me, why does it bother you?
My viewers are facing
What they know they see,
They say they see,
They think they see.
But it's just the casing
I know they see,
I would say they see.
Intoxication by substance,Abuse is a common word inA user's dictionary: vocabulary,Mundane feelings of pain,Take it all away.
Though we have similar tastes,
Interests, and humour,
it doesn't make us for each other.
Despite what others may say,
we have markedly different dreams,
Desires, aspirations.
The things we look for
Waking up, staying up, worry through my mind
I wanted to find a way to have a bond of some kind.
I didn't need to be different, you needed to change
I woke up that day, with a thought so strange.
The true me?
Well there's a mystery.
Even I, myself find trouble to congregate my thoughts.
Maybe that is me-a plethora of lost thoughts?
Microscopic thoughts. Dots.
When the sky is clear and the sun is out
Your eyes are bright and bluer than blue.
And when the sky is dark and grey
So are your eyes
And so is your mood
And that's just how it is with you.
The mirror cracks
with broken glass
unable to hold
the lies that are told
everything plastic
thought as attractive
the soulless has worth
we're told to convert
what is to live
A sorrowful painter never shows their work, wrapped in memories, connecting words unspoken.// Aching with attention, craving another stroke of the brush, gently gliding over rough canvases.// Leaking misery the paint drips, along with your
You are quickly blinded by light,
as your ears are blasted by noise.
It even dazzles during the night,
and captures you in its joys'.
The city never sleeps,
as Frank Sinatra once said.
Smiling, laughing, eternally cheery
Why can't anyone hear my screaming?
Showing the world my best face
Make sure that the mask stays
Sweet flower, oh so delicate
Awaiting to bloom, within the first week of November
To have something to give thanks for
The beautiful flower that is to come
"Alone, alone, alone..."
The phrase that plagues my mind day in and day out...
Yet it rings true about who I really am.
I am alone.
Feeling ever so distant;
I was teeming with sorrows
I couldnt see to tomorrow
I Couldn't envision a life that could be possibly harder
Now Lookin back I see
All the false pity
There is no rhyme scheme here.
There is no melody to the song.
No place where I belong.
I bleed here.
I love here
I die here
We exist helplessly,
acting how we want to be.
Pursuing this endeavor,
to become something better.
Moral fall behind us,
money for the poisonous.
Trading lust for love,
dazed by what's above.
In a world where we work until we die
what’s in store for you and i?
only the rich, smart, and strong will survive
what does it mean to be alive?
to go down swinging
to run the street singing
Is it wrong
that i want to observe
everything you do?
just simply watch you,
and breath in every quirk
and restlessness of your being
sometimes you absent mindedly jitter your leg
Little hands
so cold and frail
against the snow, they seem pale
then the numbness comes
as senses fail
I’ve come to realize, i’ve been living in my own lies.
Fully submerged, head beneath the surface
living my daily life without a purpose
i was a hypocrite to my own speech
“chin up buttercup” i’d always preach
Is there anything out there for me?
in a world of billions,
what does it take
to do something useful?
to do something great?
i barely even know
who i am
or who i could be.
Laced with excitement and terror
a fabrication of a dead dream
drowned out by the demands
the expectations
how they cripple our creations
Blue paint drips from her sneakers,
dancing along to purple rain
she covers the scratches
the scrapes
from her crown of thorns.
senseless noise fills her head,
his calling is heard as a whisper
With your eyes like the sea
and your heart crashing waves
you blend flawlessly
with every perfection surrounding
i would do anything to keep from losing you,
out there among the salty breeze.
Don't try to hold me
For I am broken glass
Don't try to...
Please, I beg you
For everyone who holds me
They will bleed
And bleed
And bleed
'til they're empty
Today I am tired
Of being everything.
Friend, sister, lover, student, teacher
Stretches a little to thin
But I'll never complain
I'll even off you a smile
Because its not about me
Intelligent,
Confident,
Brave,
and
Beautiful,
four words that I thought never lived in my identity,
look behind those words and you'll see their opposites,
Who am I?
A question subject to everyday society.
Nothing more.
One that thinks for the better
And acts for a cause.
Concealment…
Unnecessary.
Life kept justified if otherwise
I am a spectacle, a one-woman circus, a lion on a leash.
I have always been caught somewhere between dare devil and professional, but
when it comes to speeding down this road called life,
I scream,
I cry.
I barely know how I will survive.
Through trust and love,
You should be fine,
But not when dark souls
Have the key to your mind.
Tea on a Sunday
evening
Two young girls
hide behind their words
their illustrations
small talk eludes
dark realities
too afraid to address
the monster
in the closet
my mind has several jobs right now,
working in three positions,
looking at the past, stationed in the present and plannin to be promoted in the future,
I'm drunk,
What if every word had a cost?
And you paid in in full
Every 'and' 'a' 'the'
Cost you part of yourself
We would be a bit less careless,
wouldn't we?
Hopefully
Probably
There are broken things in this world
Things torn assunder by apposing forces
And in the end
Someone, somewhere, always wants to fix it
No matter how small
Or how large
There's a smiling human
it goes like this:
the clock reads 7:06am
cloudy skies, morning mist on the window
i am swallowed by silence
clod toes, cold nose, cold heart
the coffee warms my throat,
warms my toes,
I got an attitude,Attitude with God,Maybe I’m not supposed to say that,Maybe I’m always supposed to call on his name and give him praise,
Like a flood you came crashing through my walls.
Giving me all the hope and optimism one should feel with love. You let your waters damage my insides, leaving stains and broken pictures in it's wake.
There used to be many curtains shielding me from
what I thougt I wanted to be
it too me a while to realize that lies would not make me who other people wanted to see
It’s not for attention, it’s not for respect.
It’s for me, I need to speak my silence
I am tired of hiding how I feel,
You constantly think you know,
But honestly I just need to heal
All on my own.
Misbuttoned shirts make great cutting boards. A woodshop is best manned by undone zippers. A garden tended by forgotten belt loops flourishes. An unkempt beard produced this dream for other razor-cut and softly rounded faces. Too heavy earrin
I am not how I used to be all mean and cruel.
If you see me today you wouldn’t believe I’ve changed.
I would say, Hello how have things been?
And you would probably just look at me and expect the same old thing.
I have been made free.Free from all of the things that once binded me.
It is the beautiful saving work of Jesus.The grace that He poured out when he hung on a tree and died for us.
No longer a slave to the old.
My heart swells when I read something that reminds me of you.
I've kissed so many boys that my lips have turned blue.
But I can not stop imagining what it would be like to kiss you.
She smiles every day,
So no one asks a question.
She cracks jokes with friends,
To distract from the truth.
She tries to keep a mask,
Over her reality.
To conceal her emotions,
Some say that the strogest magic of all is true loveand while it's true that love is powerful,It is also true that without one thing, it has no power.That 'one thing' is hope.
Sit in front of me and hear my eyes scream your name.. watch the pupils beat ceaselessly out of the frame..
Follow my mind and see where it runs-where it leads.. right back to your heart is where it always pleads..
I write for no one except me.
I write for no one because they see
Pain and distress in the words I speak.
They don’t see the beauty.
Instead they stiff letters peak
Up with a different voice,
I write for you, the girl with the rosary in her hands
The miraculous medal around her neck.
Come closer so that you may see all I have written for you.
Of pure love and true affection
Mom. The constant fighting. The nights up until 3 in the morning cleaning up after you. Picking you up off the floor. The names you would call me. The days I missed school. The nights I had to have Dad pick me up.
I hide because I'm scared of meof how weak I might actually beI'm not so pure, and fair of skinbut I act like that's who I've beenas a child I was raised "white"Even though my skin isn't light
Instead of playing house I used to play home.From the age of four I never questioned the perfectionof the woman in white that hung near my bed
Fact:
His lips were soft
They tasted like nothing
Fact:
His hands were big
They left no impression on my skin
Fact:
I told him to move on
Don't wait for me,
I don't want you to,
He said I'll wait for you forever,
I can't ask you to do that,
Be happy, live your life,
I am from the east coast,
Where bipolar weather meets
A world of Americanized-Cameroonians.
I am from a family built on love and respect.
I’ll admit, I’m selfish
I have a greed for things that I don’t have
The list of things I want fills encyclopedias
Dictionary-sized lengths of words telling of my desires
I can’t write it all out without aching
I’ve heard so many poems, songs, stories about body parts
Almost every single bit of a human’s makeup has been the focal point of works
Ribs, spines, eyes, mouth
It started with me running
My feet hitting the ground with purpose in every step
My toes touching grass and my legs never tiring
I was moving
Dear girl with the sharpies and sewing needles
It’s been a while, hasn’t it?
You’ve grown up a bit, haven’t you?
Since the last time I saw you finish something you started
Can a broken person truly help broken people or is that merely a fictional facade we blind ourselves with so that we may feel more security within ourselves?
As I come into the age of majority
The world becomes both lucid and murky
In the recesses of my mind.
I am faced with a crippling melancholy
that no amount of serotonin could
Ever counteract.
Conservative flifloppers tackle
warmth,
Declining hugs and scratching their
heads.
Are you mad?
Directly checkering and victimizing
isolated grasshoppers.
Gone AWOL,
walk to the bus,
We're all fucking alone and
I hate being reminded of it.
Leave me
And then come back
showing me pictures and
videos of you without me.
Leave me
And then never reply to my
When I watch you
thoughts calculating like an abacus
thinking, examining an unknown world
and classifying it as "lost"
I cry.
When I watch you
lips pursed like a padlock
Don’t breathe,
talk
or blink,
just stare.
Though my mind tries to grasp the words
to make sense of this,
all that comes to me is a sound,
and I feel as if I may pass out.
It’s like a cave:
large and unknown, with the potential
to hold a world of my own creation;
and yet it remains empty,
I am here where you are not.
I am trapped in a singular frame of mind
With pressing thoughts of lonliness and yearing
That never seem to dissapate.
The more that I revert to leaving you behind,
If my love for you could be written into words or defined by actions
Then the moon will fall and the sun will turn cold as that has more of a chance of happening than I do with you.
I've learned many things
In the eighteen years of my life,
Many of them being rather disconcerting.
Perhaps to you,
But not so much to me.
The wind screams … the leaves dance … my hair claws at my face.
No. that’s not right, it can't be
I'd rather it be your hand, in mine;
The tropical breeze grazing our skin and the moon shines high above us.
I've cried
I cry
So much that they have stained my skin
I've spoken
I scream
Either way, you still haven't heard me
I've heard
I listen
And you keep saying the same thing
Not because your fingers don’t twitch as you shove them in your pockets, hungry under the nails for my skin.
If there ever was enough to give, I would give it to you. If there ever was enough ways to show I would show, I woud show you my truth. My love for you is so alive it would never die. you take my breath away, you make my heart skip a beat.
They know your hair color and they know your height
They know you don't like fish and that you won't eat squid
They see you read a romantic novel and that it made you smile
Motivation, it's what keeps us going,
How do we keep motivated in a world that's never slowing?
Our goals are too important to let go of that sight,
Our focus will help us reach a future so bright
As a baby, I laid and cried in my crib
Observing the sunlight peering through my window
It had been only once.
She had been much younger.
Much more foolish.
Her heart desired him,
And, for a few short hours,
His heart wanted her.
The moment ended
And both went away.
I am from destruction,
Destroyed emotions and abandoned kids.
I am from dirt soup,
Long summer days
Soaking in the sun,
Playing in the lawns,
Finding my friends.
I am from books,
It’s 3 in the morning and I am awake.
Not because I have insomnia or I’m feeling a little sick.
I am awake because there is a pounding.
A pounding in the back of my head
Am I a role model? /
A question I ask myself/
A past life of blunts and bottles/
New life, new thoughts, new self/
Pondering what goals in life are mine/
Is this me or someone else/
What Would You Change Scholarship Slam
How could the world be so cold?
Yet we act so naive,
People are out in the streets,
Waiting to be retrieved.
What I see in the mirror is no longer my reflection,
But a creation of my internal hell.
She stares at me and glares at me
Don’t try to tell me I am not a number
Second born
First daughter
Number 17 on the little league soccer team
Fourth in rank in my classes
If I had the power to change things
I would not change much
Just the direction of my feet
When the ground is hard and
Laden with a cobbled facade
I would change the sound of a tragedy
The leaves on the treesFall every autumnIf they can fallWhy can't I?
I'm drifting downwardsAway from youIf someone doesn't snatch meI'll be gone.
6:50 pm
The end was soon.
Anticipation overwhelming the mind.
People pass,
Unfeeling to the time ticking on.
7:00 pm
Minutes disguised as hours.
Unconvincing as they slugged on,
In the midst of pain is when I seek you
I want You in my life with everything I do
I may have made a mistake
Jumping into battles I wasn’t ready for
Pain shoots through my body; aches
The blink of an eye and I had hit the floor
I am from far and distant places
From views of far beyond perception
I am from ramose, and for phratry
Raised by words of no deception
Have you ever wanted to write a poem for someone because having a normal conversation just doesn’t work for you?
I can't tell the difference between my dreams and reality anymore
Everyday I wake up and yet I'm never really here
I find myself living within the parallels of a world that loved me unconditionally
I've gotten so used to the rain that I hardly feel it anymore
It's liek a friend giving sweet, sweet caresses
Letting me know everything is all right
The cobble stone sidewalks that trip me on my walk remind me
They were used to me being girly
Fat.
Insecure.
Sensitive.
I dreamed to be a thin designer that put others under the control
of my charms
of my domesticity
A cook, a designer, a wife.
What if today was the first and last time you met me?
Would you be able to have a conversation with me?
Would you be able to look past my complexion and my intonation?
Never once looking at the span of my hips
Lift me from the abyss I have plummeted.
I'm falling and I've lost my rope.
Take away my agony as I begin to choke.
What I thought was water was really glass.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt.”
What a load of shit this is.
Clearly, the people who spew this phrase have never faced daggers of words, have they?
In equal amounts each year
It is this we must fear-
For a day cannot expire without it;
Once, a boy goaded on by his friends
yelled “BORDERHOPPER” in my face.
(I must have a very large stride, then,
to have hopped the Pacific Ocean.)
To be fair, it was middle school.
To be recognized One must have something to be recognized forAnd I, Well, I have nothingI have the world to walk uponBut it is not mine
I have been a block of clay all my life,
Reshaped into whatever anybody wanted.
I have been modeled into every shape and form
In order to fit certain molds.
Mom and Dad shaped me
I look into your face as I describe
The project I put hours into
I paint a picture for you
Of the reaction from my classmates
When I pointed out that there are examples
In our own culture
Who am I?
Who am I? I know that I am not you but more than this is true
Here is a riddle just for you, so here is what you do—
Read this passage and guess to see who this person just might be.
Whenever I'm lonely, I go see my best, true friend.
She's only home during the night, though I miss her throughout the day.
Life can spur.
Love can be found.
A memory can be made.
Spontaneous laughs will happen.
A surprise kiss.
A wonderful dream.
But tears will fall.
Hearts will be broken.
After everything i went through so far in the new year, 2014, I've decided to leave to Ecuador for the next month. After going through attempted suicide, hospitalization, the pysch ward, therapy, trying to find myself back into life, and such; i
I will write.
I will write even if my hands bleed,
Even if there's no one to read.
I will write even if my fingers break,
Even if there's nothing to create.
A little blonde girlshe stepped onto a plaine and away with her family she went
Away from her friendsand her comforts and carefreeswith her ponitailed hair all unkempt
Many people say if i did not do anything wrong to someone who is mad at me i do not have to apologize.
There is no time for us,
watching the clock on the wall,
waiting for something to happen,
for excitement, encouragemet, and motivation,
but nothing happens,
just the sound of the clock ticking,
There's a little black box with a little brown brush
And endless colored paint for an impossibly white wall.
Holding my brush, I stare at the wall,
THIS BOOK WAS BOUGHT WITH LOVE IN MIND, THOUGH PERHAPS NOT THE KIND YOU WERE LOOKING FOR AT THE TIME
THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE & SO IS THE PERSON YOU WERE WHEN THEY WERE HERE
GOOD RIDDANCE!
Mind racing 100 meters a second
Back to the old days when I set the record
Straight, that is, the path I ran
Though none of it was my own plan
Forced to run, but no where to hide
A familiar numbness
creeps over my soul.
I feel nothing.
But at the same time,
I feel everything.
I feel the weight of guilt,
the pain of losing a friend,
I’m from Monopoly
From the Game of Life.
I’m from Sister, Sister
From the world of CatDog.
Games and fun is where I’m from.
I’m from the sweet sound of summer glistening on the pool
We find ways to make it.
We are stronger than we think.
Most believe they will break
So they give up at the brink.
It is when you are near the end.
Do most quit,
As a child you’d like to believe you could trust the world to be
Everything you’d want it to be
Such innocence in seeing life in an easier point of view
Nothing sugar-coated
Just straight forward
Where I’m From
By: Kaleigh Kelso
(Imitation poem from George Ella Lynon)
I’m from the ultimate mixed family
From half sisters, step sisters, and adopted brothers
What is the idea that started this all?
The one that broke the glass?
Shit you can’t say to your teacher?
It should be titled Shit I Should Say
Math teachers working out polynomial equations and over exaggerated problems of how Bill bought twenty-three hundred apples;
I've always wondered what goes on in other people's minds
I've always wondered where life is going to take me
I've always wanted to know why everything happens for a reason
Yeah, I may be “pocket-sized,”
But just you wait and see.
In a couple of years you’ll look up,
To find me as a giant tree.
Or maybe I’m just stuck like this:
Heredity’s little treat,
I never would have put you through this,
If I knew how much misery it'd bring.
Did I simply persuade you amiss?
Or did the mockingbird falsely sing?
Don't refuse your true feelings;
I can be your guide.
Now that the West coast is calling:
Where are you going?
Now that you are simply stalling:
Where are you going?
You pack your bags to up and leave,
In unorthodox verses with a poetic tongue,
And my vibrant fingers crossed, I’ll trigger the gun –
A formation of words, so to speak I shall say,
Will combine with saliva, for a delicate play.
Withering walls with chipped paint,
Alone here I sit and wait.
Abandonment flooding like sealed doom,
As if enclosed inside a tomb,
Enraptures me with morbid haste;
Energy drained and lost in space.
With your touch I just might shatter—
Into a million pieces I can’t put back together.
My porcelain skin shivers at the mere thought—
How could something so beautiful be so flawed?
I found lovein all sorts of places.I could coax it into appearingeven when a heart was withanother,though those weightswill never drop.I found it in the dog-eared pages
Sometimes i pretend to be someone famousi wake up like them and dress like them,i slip into their skin and it’s okay.
I come from a small island
People here get comfortable,
They know their neighbors,
They fish,
They hunt,
They pass down stories for generations,
School isn’t always important.
What is time?
By definition its an indefinite continued progress of existance
But is there even such a thing?
We measure time with numbers,
But there are no numbers in the sky, on our bodies
In 1776 something important happened.
On October 25 2012 I could tell everything about it, but the test is over
I can't remember anything about it now.
Molecules are important
People on the screen don't exisit anymore
All that's there are explosions and products to buy
And this makes me burn.
The screen has become a bible more
or else, it's what society bases it's joys and pains on.
You're the best thing that has ever happened to me
I would do anything for you
You treat me with respect
And you care about my feelings
You're the best thing to ever happen to me
And I couldn't be happier
Love is passion.
Love is attraction.
Love is devotion.
Love is a notion
that people care
for people other than
themselves.
Love is small.
Love is big.
Love is humble.
A rose sat within my heart
Closed off from the world.
It dare not show a single petal
In fear it would wither away.
So it stayed in my heart,
Encased in a throne of thorns.
Strange noises you hear in the dark,
Distorted perception in your mind,
The tightening of the chest, well
can you even breathe?
Breathe,
because you
still can.
Close
I’m the girl they call goodie goody
Goodie goody?
I think not!
Goodie goody my ass!
I’m the quite girl who sits in the front of the class room, answers questions when asked
They say to write a list of what you're grateful for.They say it will make you happy.
I say there's more to it than that.I say writing isn't the answer--learning is.
I have no culture,
No background,
No heirlooms;
I have no memories
Of the deceased,
Of the forgotten.
I have some pictures,
Some drawings,
Some presents,
That doesn't mean
I am from houses,
From old neighborhoods and drenched cities
I am from tablets used for drawings
Colorful, amusing
Clean stroked lines
I am from movies nights and eating out
Sadness is strong a feeling
Sadness is a weary feeling,
It comes and feels like it won’t go away.
Sadness is a heavy feeling.
Look at me, what do you see?
A picture of average nationality,
American girls in picture books.
Come here, come closer and take a look!
All you see: brown hair, blue eyes,
Coming in at five foot five!
One day, twenty four hours.One thousand, one hundred and fortyStrikes of a little hand.It becomes forty three thousand, two hundred ticksAnd just as many tocks.The numbers are baffling to me,
One may look and say,
You look like a angel,
But like mirrors that hit a ray,
Your life is one big tangle.
The mask you wear,
Make people say AYE,
But what’s not shown there,
10 digits to never call again
To never text
To never press send
10 less headaches
10 less tears shed
10 digits not to think about lying in bed
10 less arguments
Yeah, 10 less laughes
Hollow is the heart inside my chest,so still- it beats.It aches,with unquenchable desire,pounding slowly, slowly, slowly.
In elementary school,
I was told:
To look both ways before crossing the street,
Do not run with scissors
Don't cheat in hide and seek.
Friends are forever,
And secrets are kept discreet.
I wonder what made me this way, to who I am today
Because when I'm looking at old pictures
of me, I seemed so happy, I see how my brown eyes
were full of this sparkle and I wonder to death
I sit here with my patch of sky
It's clear and blue and wild and free
It asks me if my heart is true
And what with my eyes do I see
I sit here with my patch of sky
Sometimes my body is colder than ice,
I forget to breath twice in the moment.
Lighter than sand and heavier than bricks,
My body can only take so much of this ish.
Darker than black, madder than mad,
Myself;
As expansive as the ocean,
Yet also a wanderer within its great depths.
With no thought at all I flow with its motion,
But resistance is found when I consider my breadth.
Deeper than the submarines,
Life has Something,
Something to fill it.
This Something will fill it to the brim.
It will also stretch life to the longest it can be,
Without, of course, making it thin you see.
Want
By: Kamaria Campbell
Big, beautiful, warm, and wet from his tongue
Slowly gliding along the surface leaving behind a trail of saliva
Driving into town to see him lie,
To see him in peace and to say goodbye,
Sunnyside is not so sunny.
Standing in a lush green field,
Dressed in black with tears that refuse to yield,
Burn my name from your heart
And forget me, like I was never there
Melt my tears that froze on your cheek
On that winter day I cried for you
With eyes like fire and words sharp as ice
The sun went down,
but I'm still here.
There's still a tube inside me.
My dinner tray is in the sink.
The whiteboard says my name.
The thermostat reads "55"--
that's something
standing among the ashes of your life
can you justify
all the fires you setall the bridges you burnedall the hearts shatteredall the people you broke
standing in front of the cracked glass
I want to be kissed!
But not just kissed...
I want to be kissed because I’m me!
Not just because I’m some girl.
I don’t want to have to think
And think and think and rethink
I tell the time by trees.
I tell the time in threes.
Three by threes from trees.
Three by three by three.
Time in trees to three by threes.
We pass our time in trees.
We pass our time in threes.
To the man that I call my father,I know how you feel,I don't mean to put you out there,but some of us are in fear.
Many more are like you,hopefully these words will help you hear,
normal people
Sick, Tired, and Drowsy
Are the only feelings I feel
Not a child, yet not quite an adult
Still unable to express me
Nothing has felt real
May be it's my fault
Coerce into thinking college is the key
I used to steal everything
All my jewelry and perfume
But you can’t steal from a coffee shop
So that’s where all my money went
I knew a girl who took fire to her arms
I am from limp white laces of worn-down, battered "It's time to throw these away" kind-of-shoes,
from the midmorning naps, timed with the daily occurrence of watching the evening 6 o'clock news.
Where's the good in goodbye
Because when it's said
My chest feels soo empty
That it just might collapse
But that's okay
Because I can't breathe anyway
When I see you around
With her
Each morning, the white sun rises over Jasper Street.
It peeks over the maple trees,
it hides from cloud to cloud,
You quivered at the sound of rainas it seduced you into a wickedpleasure of placidity. I’ll never beable to comprehend how magnificentlybeautiful you looked as your taintedgreen eyes were fixated on the ripples
Another pass over the bigger city to the south makes me wonder about all the absence in the night; the pitch-blackest part that the eye can’t see.
The music that sings within me doesn’t ring as loudly now
I hold on to pieces as my heart falls to the ground
But, time heals all wounds right?
I thought that could be true…
What do they do with people like me,
To express in prose
Is the work of a poet
For any fellow may give a rose
But few a sonnet
I cannot fathom which I love most,
The romance of chasing a muse
Or the art of drawing with words
I write to let you know
How I feel
How I miss you
How I resent what happened
I write to let people hear
The eloquence of vowels
The harshness of consonants
I don't want artificial, I don't want cheap.
Raw and pure, real and sweet.
I don't want half-hearted, I don't want unrequited.
I want you all, or not at all.
You don't know my pain. I cry myself to sleep, most nights.
I sit up many times worrying myself silly.
I feel like I'm in a hole, I just seem to sink deeper.
Everytime I climb out, something seems to go wrong.
How has not the whole world falledIn love with such a beauty?Are we, star crossed lovers, called?I to be with a cutie? * Nightingales sing half as sweetAs you, my bird, do so speak.No.
So many faults I can point out to be true
But will that proclaim the true person in you?
People are windows that you can see through,
People are mirrors that show the untrue.
Everything that I had to be used to
You say you’re invested but you look far from interested
You say you care, but your presence is never there
For you I am a matter of convenience
But you consume my entire existence
I write to take away the pain
That memories can bring
I write to offer up my thoughts
To anyone or thing
I write to express anger and fear
In ways I can’t with voice
Crisp,clear,oceans deep.
Stir within me feelings.
Open my soul,bare myself to you,make feelings brand new.
Sapphiresin the night sky.
I gotta couple questions, please answer them honestly.
Because this stuff is gettting old with you, her, & me.
So how does it feel knowing you've broken me down?
Because everyone knows in our hometown.
So many people loved you now you're gone,
You didnt say goodbye before you left home.
You filled our hearts with so much joy,
You didn't deserve this you were a wonderful boy.
A brother, son, grandson, & friend,
Jacob dreams of ladders
Two roads diverge
Nothing really matters
But please, dont let it hurt
Up ahead
Down the road
Gods and Angels
Make their toasts
Down below
God had walked away from me that rainy afternoon
I do not know why
A dark fate awaited me
Punishment for girls who walk alone and disobey
Reward for Men who drive around looking for their prey
I want to be a savage
The only question is how?
Be fierce
Violent
Uncontrolled
Be a sort of animal
A force of nature
A part of a regarded people
Primitive
Uncivilized
I write a poem; a verse; a page in my diary,
To calm this fire and rage.
Cause there is no soul I trust to let the air out.
I listen to those music; to those rain drops falling;
I was born here
I came from there
My body is here
My soul is there
My words are here
My thoughts are there
My feet walk here
My mind runs there
My bones lay here
To you I am invisibleA translucent tragedyGrasping onto ridgesScratch marks created by a ghost
Blank screens and empty lines,Meaningless phrases typed outAgain andAgain and Again.While my mind is dull myHeart is screaming!Black silk dripping from scratches,
I think it started
With a fleeting glance.
I had to capture, somehow,
This moment in time provoking
A fluttering of my heart.
Then it became
My mode of voice,
Of choice.
Day by day
The realities of life gets hard
Too much pressure
To be the best of who you are.
Endless thoughts scatter my mind,
As I lay here, contemplating about my life.
I lost my Journal and didn't know what to think.
I looked for it everywhere but thought maybe someday it will randomly appear.
I cleaned my room. I cleaned my car. I even cleaned spaces in the house where I thought it could be.
Cravings.
Blood lust swooning for you through the blue of my veins, blushing under my skin.
I am not a poet.
My poetry is not considered poetry.
My poems are a door for me and, me alone,
They are a way for me to cope, to understand.
Nobody knows my life better than my poems,
I was just a kid you know back in middle schoolNever thought poetry or any of that shit would end up being what I doBut it isNow I’m stuck refreshing Rhymezone.com and trying to figure out
Being born in a black box
The room’s dark and cold
There’s a world outside
You know of a better world
But it’s beyond your reach
You can see it, everyone else
One day, there’s a door
Bruised, unripe; I lay, weeping, imperfect and alone, the toy missing wheels.
An unattained dream, fantasy, and hope, still sealed with putrid rubber cement.
Wrapped up in a blanket of truth;
snug, warm, happy.
Dowsed in fresh memories.
Longing for a friend
who cannot be found.
It hurts me, more than it hurts you
Seeing the pain in your eyes makes me want to die
I will never understand it, but I’ll do my best and try
But I guess if nothing was said, I really didn’t know you at all
why do i write
so many ask
so often
why write? why you? why at all?
i try ferverently to describe the itching in my fingers
as i reach for the keys or the pen
and the aching in my heart
I write because
Actions can never completely suffice.
We are to control ourselves
But there is a war raging within me.
Life is such a scary thing
One minute its complete and total bliss
But the next its full of despair
There is no way of knowing why or when
It will all come to an end
Loved ones are lost
and then there they were standing a few steps apart. a moment of silence and little conversation in a span of 24 hours a lot was said through body language, gestures, and spoken words.
You go to turn down a road
But a voice tells you differently
You look and you wonder
Not sure of whom it could be
Ignoring the voice, you take a step
And tell the voice, “Leave me be”
A lost answer
It doesn’t matter where it comes from
Or why it’s lost in the first place
But you search
I search
We all search
For a lost answer
We spend our lives chasing something
Back pressed against metal
Sick blue light kissed my skin, breathless
The heavy solemn clockwork of your heart pulsed beneath my palm
I dreaded the 8 AM departure that would ruin it all
I’ve been in constant contradiction
since I was 17 years old,
do I run away from everything?
or do just what I’m told?
Why write something down
When it’s simplier to say it, speak it, shout it, tell the world?
Why write something down
When it can be erased, burned away, tarnished, or torn to shreds?
Why write something down, at all?
I'm trying…
and no one is helping me.
no one even realizes how close the blade is to my wrist.
no one gets it.
not even me.
Is it true?
Is that really what you think of me?
Who I am
Is not your problem
Who I will be
Is not your business
Who I was
Is all you can see?
‘Cause that’s me
That is what I want
Concatenated words
transcend the boundaries of what is factual
causing you to question the actual,
but I'm not a poet.
Tragedy always on my mind;
Calamity enfolds all who come around.
Dagger in my back and
It remains unknown to me who stationed it there.
I have a story to tell but
Not many hang ‘round here to listen.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder/
Or at least that's what I told her/
When I hold her, I wanna mold her not scold her/
Give her cold chills, never the cold shoulder/
You are as stagnant as the waterfall
painting in a waiting room.
Internal turmoil redefining struggle
as an infinite cosmic loop.
They can smell the metals at work
in your skin
bonding with electric air
Her eyes are blue and peaceful like the ocean
Her smile is rare but shows up every once in a while
Her heart is full of love and care for others and not herself
And her happiness is always seen with a smile
You play a part
While I fall apart
Under the weather, now...
Under the weather, now...
And I beg you please
for some room just to breathe
under the weather now...
under the weather now...
From empty thoughts of i do’s, lake front houses, and promises that never follow through, to feeling numb, paralyzed by fantasies with who, I always seem to look right through.
I took the time off to think.
Think about how life would be if I went back to the past and did things differently.
Sometimes I feel like maybe life would be better if I wasn't here.
Suicidal thoughts? Never!
(poems go here) Drops of rain falling in the lake
only here for a ripple Did it resonate?
open your mind's eye let it flow, let it grow let it go and then you'll find
within the secrets lie, the truth that you will find
how do you find how far you can run?
run 'til you fall.
but what if, on the final stretch
when you can almost see the finish line
something comes up from behind
and pushes you.
sends you flying.
Behold the beauty in your eyes,
And sing me this lullaby.
We dissapear into the night,
To find dreams in our eyes.
She gained it all,
And we lost the trust.
Forever I'm gone,
I am not me
I am a figment
a figment of your imagination
I am not me
I am a reflection
a reflection of you
I am not me
and yet I am
Do you want to know how I feel? There are butterflies swarming around my stomach at all times of my existence. My bones shake and my heart rate goes through the roof.
When you became a man
you knew what you had to do.
However it was a choice,
I had no say.
The day you left sure was a hard one.
I remember waking up before the sun
I used to wonder
if the undersides of Clouds
got sad
because they could never see
the bright and shining sun--
and then it would rain.
It starts off slow with a Capital letter,
For your birth is a big mark in someone's calender.
You move from stage to stage,
Just like any other-
A common letter in the alphabet of life...
And Kermit the Frog said
It’s not easy being green
Well being black isn’t easy either
I don’t blend in with the grass and the leaves
But I stand out in seas of ivory
Sometimes I get stares of disgust
On the outside I'm strong
But on the inside I'm in Hell
I make subtle cries
But no one who notices will help
(poems go here) On the outside I'm strong
But on the inside I'm in Hell
I make subtle cries
But no one who notices will help
In the mirror I stand alone
My lifelong purpose still unknown
My image drowning in a sea
Of things I cannot be
It rises up and stares at me
As if she knew me inside-out
It taunts my self esteem
Speaking subtle lies and myths with a
slipping of my lisp;
these words
slide off the tongue
like sipping slews of scotch and Smirnoff.
But constant non-stop pronouncing of sounds as though
I always
It takes real eyes to realize the real life
I used to see blind until I realized the real lies
I lived in a utopia where love was our core
But that’s when I was four, now the thought is nevermore
no hand outs used because none were ever given, I mean I can't say I wouldn't have accepted if a hand was ever risen, but none were so, why consider, when they didn't
Inhale...exhale.
And then there's nothing.
That same nothing that lies
within our awkward silences.
That same nothing that keeps our defenses up.
The same nothing that was there
I look around and everywhere I see,
Happy couples looking back at me
Why cant I be happy as they seem to be
Instead I have to put on a fake smile for everyone to see,
And believe that there is nothing wrong with me
Eyes speak no lies,
unlike the lips in falsely
upturned lines
curved like spiders
weaving truth out
of a script from the
mind; it lies
Those eyes reveal sadness
Music is my life,
it helps me sleep at night
it gets me up and high unto sky,
it gives me courage, when I sing in the choir at church,
I burst into flames of happiness, and
no one knows me
for my home is the ocean
i lay beneath the waves and ontop of dreams
i have nobody to call me, for i am free
no one knows me
for my home is the ocean
i lay beneath the waves and on top of dreams
i have nobody to call me, for i am free
A dove descends from deep in my heart,
Never to see this world fall apart.
Leaving me here vulnerable and weak,
As I watched the blood of my scars streak.
Love (n): a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
1. You made me realize that love
is more than fairy tale bullshit.
Sometimes a princess isn’t waiting
for a prince.
Pretty girls sashay in their pink skirts
Long hair flows
Like water where the sidewalks burn.
Ruby lips, Masquerade faces
Dolls with hearts of plastic.
I sat in my dirty, gray pickup truck parked
under the shade of an old oak
choked by ivy, smoking
cigarettes before work.
The warmth that late winter day,
like a long desired kiss from a
childhood crush.
