self harm

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Dear Pencil Sharpener,   I once was a painter. An artist with beautiful abstract art under her name,
"I'm fine" those are the words that fall from my mouth as the blade hits my skin people say I'm pretty, I say that's bullshit they say I'm skinny, I say you're out of your mind the truth is I'm not ok, I'm not fine
  Wasn’t Enough I wasn’t enough
Nurses, Should be nice.   Or at least that's what I thought.   They didn't care about me.   Hurt yourself? Stop crying.   Lonely? Oh well.  
YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS FROM ME No matter what you do or TRY I am one step ahead I DO WHAT I PLEASE I will not die YOUCAN'TTAKETHISFROMME I do what I please It's my BODY
Royal blue veins Skin near transparent like window panes, and growing pains Dukes with dukes and dames with dames, an endless rain Staring out at a passing train, imbalanced brain,
A cut across the wrist Cuz who would miss this? A cut along the thigh So much easier to hide   Keeping it all hush hush
A cut across the wrist Cuz who would miss this? A cut along the thigh So much easier to hide   Keeping it all hush hush
Self inflicted pain is the easiest kind of pain Being in control of all the sorrows you encounter fills you with a sense of self control  Your pain is in your hands  It's a drug  You become addicted 
She is happy She was happy She is smiling She used to smile She is laughing She is crying She is cutting paper
They are like trenches Where I can hide I can put up my fences And feel safe inside   In each one I took shelter From the bullets that rained While my real wounds sweltered
I want to be able to forgive my mother. I look at the sky and that is all I see. The blue, lilac, the sunset colors that wash away the day's sins in calm and understanding forgiveness.  
"I like to hit things" was a thing I have said to many people when asking of sore knuckles, bruised knuckles, bleeding knuckles, scabbed knuckles. In which the person struggles, to understand why.
To the ones who press blades to their thighs. I ask, do you also think the dragging metal feels like the clouds in the sky? People think we are weak but they don't understand that the pain we create is a pain we seek.
He stands in the cornerShade a shadow of black thoughts in my headDraws weights in my skin drawing out
I'd rather set myself on fire Then listen to you anymore I'd rather burn and scream in hot agony Then sit in silence feeling the opposite pain within
     -Don’t speak- Look around. I am a girl who provides for my six siblings I have 2 jobs paying minimum wageBarely brushing by, i don’t get to have much to show off My bully doesn’t know this;My bully picks at my clothes, my hair, my rough finge
She took a look at the cold body,  Broken, Bruised, Beaten,  Left for dead, With very little warmth left in her.  A small touch sent heat flooding all over Her body,
Heart Disease is the leading cause of death in America in all genders.  It penetrates your atriums, obliterates your aortas, and annihilates your artery’s.  They say nothing sucks the life out of you like Death.
forgive me body, i have failed i failed to love you and cut again who knows how long it has been i made a list of what to do and chose to cut on you i thought about all the bad 
Beauty doesn't always come easily. Insecurity will rear its ugly head. But you, my love, You are so perfect. To be like you, one could only wish. So please
You make sarcastic jokes and laugh a lot, as if we don't know that something is wrong. We watch you fade beneath a  thinning frame. We avert our eyes when your sleeves   fall back.
I know a writer She seems like quite the fighter her arms and legs are covered in scars But her eyes are so full of stars   I know a writer
My seventh grade students are the noisiest, making 4th Period Reading Block difficult. I enforce silence with  "mandatory individual reading". Thirty minutes of bliss.  
age seven [don't hurt me again] "why are you doing that?" handful of assorted pills stained nightgown, innocence ruined "it's okay, munchkin. i do it because i love you"   age thirteen
I sliced my legs and marked my arms found comfort  in self-harm.   I cut my hips and slit my wrists told myself that I was worthless.   Everyday I look down at these scars
you are more than I deserve than I will ever deserve you are the cool and glorious rains that fall blissfully to the scorched lands that have been plagued  by drought
you are more than I deserve than I will ever deserve you are the cool and glorious rains that fall blissfully to the scorched lands that have been plagued  by drought
There are scars on my hips Mixed with stretch marks Ones that I put there late at night Touched by dirty hands He says I'm beautiful His hands outlay plains Of wheat and new beginnings
Don't you feel the noose of night slowly tightening around your thoughts. Sufficating you slowly. You hold a blade in your hand slashing at the silence that hides it all... the things you never said
they cam e back this time they wanted my hands so I couldnt lay fingerprints on anything anymore no evidence of my evil  just poison from my wrists they wanted to see
TICK.   TICK.   Time is running out. tick. nobody is around.   tick. Someone is coming. I must hurry
All humans are born free and equal yet it never seems that way, Hateful words of society corrupt people from day to day “Dress how you’d like your body is great!”
There is a voice in the back of my skull that screams for release, That can only be found in a razor blade, or between your lips. If I pick and prod at my flesh enough I realize soon enough I can't feel anything,
I saw the blood flow down the arm. Not my arm, nor my blood, But hers. The girl I once was.
I saw sadness clearly For the first time. She was hunched over, her hands clasped Her short, ginger hair spiked.
You told me once that you were fine I told myself you were right, you’d never lie I know now where i went wrong Seeing you today was the reminder you are gone
Stuck in the muck, I am a slut There is nothing I can do but sit and sulk. I can't control minds, I can't control your vibeI can't control your life, but you controlled mine.
He’s just a token Of his family’s disappointment A silent reminder of what’s bad All the dark in this world He’s just a token
I want to draw stripes on my body use myself as a canvas   draw horizontal stripes draw vertical stripes draw diagonal stripes  
Welcome to the carnival of life Where brilliance shines, flashing lights Where memories are our currencies Where affection is shared like cotton candy Where strength is measured in courage
Welcome to the carnival of life Where brilliance shines, flashing lights Where memories are our currencies Where affection is shared like cotton candy Where strength is measured in courage
You hurt me again It’s written on your skin Circling around your wrist As well as your arms and hips   The scars on your skin Would you stop if I paint my name over them? I prefer permanent pen
There are countless lies that all lead to the same destination- a voiceless being imprisoned to a shouting mind. The lie “you are stupid” keeps the shy kid from raising his hand in class.
The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.   I made myself waffles with the waffle iron I convinced my mother to buy when I was twelve, with a side of fruit I bought at a road side produce stand. 
I’ve never had stitches.Though my efforts to scratch my itching bones
A blade seems friendly  It is anything but A manipulating tool And in my head it now haunts. It once kicked away the Numbness  That stalked my daily life And locked away Anxiety 
pierce my skin with your silver blade tongue you weapon of madness with cold metal lines and warm red taste pale piercing pain into flushed bliss soft pink clouds float
the thing is… sometimes self harm isn’t about pain, it’s about things that last and things that dont.
Look at her arm Littered in bruises Brown and yellow and green But where did they come from Why do they make her smile Pause
The corpse is covered in scars Each a memory splattered with pain On some parts, skin is still violently red Trying desperately to heal itself
  Dear Child There’s a monster in your midst Don’t run and hide, for she’s not here to hurt you  She doesn’t have scary fangs or claws, but don’t be fooled
I’m so tired of hearing the same things“it’s not healthy”“that’s not good”“you shouldn’t do that”no shitno shit it’s not healthyno shit it’s not goodno shit i should do it but i do
One with rainbow hair and one with golden eyes. A high school project turned sweet
Slit.                                                         If only my mother didn't shun me.
She DEFILED herself!  Body pains, sunken eyes, flaky, sore, bleeding lips and her body as cold as ice. She chugged the water to silence the rumbling of her stomach as she walked out the door. She gave all the right answers and was
I remember thinking that I deserved it -the pain, I deserved the pain I remember it being difficult to talk -the words, they just wouldn't come out I remember that I despised myself
10 days:No blade,no blood. 20 days:I'm tired,I'm sad,I want my blade. 30 days:I can't have my blade,I can't put a sharp object on my skin,am I finally clean?
My hands are about as cold and dead as they can be without actually being dead.   My hair is about as long as can be without actually being long.   My thighs are about
My hands are about as cold and dead as they can be without actually being dead.   My hair is about as long as can be without actually being long.   My thighs are about
The reflection  wants me to die. The reflection wants me to starve. The Reflection wants to be loved. The Reflection wants to change. The reflection wants to be changed.
She came and went. as if it were easy for all of us to stand back and  watch.  Faster, slower, stop. the water continued dripping collecting cascading towards
It was what nobody suspect, And denial begins, Because how could a girl like me Who has everything  Fall into this pit of darkness?   Is it really my fault That I may be depressed?
Awake choking, Bathe crying, Walk limping, Become deserted, And you'd understand why suicide is prevalent, It's just another way out of this claustrophobic world, Some times fate takes too long,
The darkness formed a box in my mind, Trapping my thoughts and never letting me see the light.   I'm trapped within my own mind,  And that's the worst kind of torture,
written 08/09/16 So much disappointment, So much hate, So much lies, So many things that I'm afraid.   I seek to punish, I seek to find pain,  I seek to feel alive,
The butterflies will soon turn to ashes, to just an empty feeling inside, You stare in the mirror. "Take the blade," he whispers. "do it, just one cut. No one's stopping you." One cut, two.
Let me tell you where I'm at Here at night supposedly alone, Listening to songs that make me feel whole. However there is Disappointment, Self hate and his sister Anxiety, All of them sleeping over.  
What is worse than breaking a promise, One you made to a friend? Breaking the one you made to yourself. I made myself a promise long ago, When the world seemed open That I would be okay.
It feels like a dream. ... I was a separate person back then. ... I can't see the scars anymore.  ... I know I am a different person now. ...
When I was a young age of four, I wanted to understand why the other kids could run faster and l o n g e r than I could. When I was six, I did not know why the big, bad
I've been left wordless, As my mind is tangled witth the problem. The letters float around, But no words come out. So my ipod I plug in, And my heart will live on,
Let me eat more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more
She screams in silence, But no one can tell. And her experience with hell, Has her contemplating self violence She sobs to herself. Her superman, her father, Dies, her life forever altered.
I’m no prodigious poet. In fact I’m quite the odd bird, I’m always delving deeper into ideas others find absurd.   As my father crossed oceans I fell onto my knees; anxiety and depression:
I write because of my depressive tendencies. I write because it doesn't come all at once - it creeps and slithers, latches on at every sign of weakness. You wake up one day and livings gotten hard.
The red ink is beautiful, It oozes from dark to light, Brought upon this clean slate With a sharp quill that glints in the moonlight. Gliding along the paper, The sharp quill glows,
Her wrists tell a story of a damsel in distress. A princess with her head held high and tears in her dress.   All the frogs she’s kissed
In a constant struggle with a blade that left lines upon my arm Transforming it into a piece of paper that needed to be filled in The blood that fell splattered on the sheet below
The words hit the paper like the tears hit my wrists; The ink flows like the blood from my arms; The open spaces Letters spinning Words shaking
I had choice to make My laptop sat open with  A blank document glaring at me, While a blade sat rested in my  Favorite copy of Jane Eyre on my shelf. 
One of the hardest things I do Is talk to you. It doesn't happen until I snap, And all hell breaks loose. I try to tell you, But the words are impossible to find. When I do my best it is dismissed.
You hate you I love me I love you You love Me   You hurt you   You love me I love you
Cut
Just a cut a year Will maybe stop the tears. Just a cut a month, To stop the pain is all I want. Just a cut a week  Will bring the relief I seek. Just a cut a day 
There's this thing called beauty. It's something you were taught when you were youngerand your mother, or your father, or your grandmother would say"you're beautiful."And you believed them.
Oh, how I miss you, You and your horrible ways, Oh, how good you feel.
On the verge you are. to show yourself even though I fight through my willingness
Sitting in the car attached to the cart while grocery shopping with your mother Being carried from the couch to your bed by your father after you've accidently fallen asleep watching The Little Mermaid again
I never loved you  You're better off dead  Hope itself left you  Father's words shouting in her head  Her heart scarred deep  Here's the reason why she bled   Hating who I am
sometimes it's not about the tears shed even though they are it's not about how deep your wounds lead even if they lead to your heart it's not about the words left unsaid or what you did in the dark
I said I would quite and, I know I promised but darlin' this world is tearing the cries from my soul and making them scream from a voice that is dead. I confuse the tears with rain and the cries with laughter.
"Blue" is too beautiful a word to describe being eaten from the inside out wanting to melt away into nothing. Blue is the color of a morning sky
Her wide smile, And those bright, sparkling eyes Hid so much hurt and pain.  She smiled all day, Then butchered her skin at night. She appeared so joyful, so happy,  But she was breaking down. 
The mirror's peers peering  Into the glass mask erected to hide  That he takes advantage of their selective hearing  To conceal the burning hell inside  Terrified that the mirror's fears blazing 
Can somebody take me away, To a better place,  Where your skin doesn't bleed, And your eyes don't cry, And happiness lasts, More than a fleeting moment? Or does that place only exist,
We are the same, Both you and me, We both like to draw, Pictures on our skin.   But we lie to each other, Hiding our secrets, Scared of judgement, Becuse we might have gone too far.
I met a boy who liked to draw, But he wasn't like other artists, His skin was his canvas, And his paintbrush; A blade.   He hid his drawings, Underneath bracelets and sweaters,
I remember the first time I cut like it was yesterday, Even though it was my freshman year of high school I had tried earlier in my younger years to do it, But I could never quite build up the courage
Every day is a struggle For most it's a routine Motions like the clock Any thing out of place Causing a ripple That eventually becomes a new habit A new routine. But for him It wasn't just a routine It was a paradox Nothing ever made sense He neve
Thinking too much  creates bad thoughts.  The negativity in those thoughts  are from depression.  Discontent, sadness, anxious, hopeless  is what you feel.  You feel ignored, alone.  Isolated. 
Depression i not justblack clothesblack hairand ruined makeup. Depression can befloral dressescurled hairand a bright smile. Please, do not stereotypean illness
Sticks and stonesmay break my bonesbut words will tear my skin apart. Sticks and stonesmay bruise my skinbut a bladeis what almost killed me.
she doesn't talk about how her dad leftimmediately after finding outabout her existenceshe doesn't talk abouthow her mom ignoredthe not so straight lines on her wristshow she was never confronted
With them Problems are laced into me Like a greedy dog’s drugs in a poor girl’s drink People have taken advantage of me Violated me
In your hand, there is a spot In the middle of your palm Where my heart sits While you can squeeze
There once was a girl with the world in her plam But a blade in the other for it kept her calm In the beginning she could only crawl But then she grew strong and stood tall
1 2 3 4 5 6 at 6 I learned that marriage can't end well and that families can't be happy 7 at 7 I knew things that I shouldn't  have. 7 I wrote stories about death and sex and murder. 
Pushes and punches, teases and screamsNo one ever wanted to listen.No one ever wanted to really see. She gripped it- cold and silver. Sharp, stinging to the touch.
Opening the balcony door The wind gushes, whipping thru my hair My ball grown beautifully swaying My heart pounding, what are you saying? Looking out over the terrace Down at the lights of Paris
Brush strokes over a canvas, Waves, like roads, Like branches on a tree. An old car, papers balanced on the dash, The weaving highway a snake, Glints on the horizon of sunset-red.  
It’s not just the emos with their razors. It’s the middle school kids At the top of the bleachers Playing that stupid game Bloody Knuckles. Asking the kids around for anything hard or sharp;
You think the world is always out to get you. You're paranoid, afraid, and you feel alone among friends.
I am beautiful dancing across the stage flawless stealing your heart broken I am broken pink tights hide bandaid's bandaid's hide scars scars scars from cuts across my hips
I lied for your attention. “It’s broken” “Sorry, ran out of ink” “I had to shut it down because of the storm” All of these excuses I told Not because I hated you But because I loved you
every night i go to bed with hate in my head, and yet every morning, as i get out of bed, the hate is still there; i still hate myself. i can’t get this self-hatred taste out of my mouth.  
I once was young and filled with hope Because I did not understand, That life is like a length of rope Contemplated between my hands.  
Life is... 
Who am I? The seventeen year old, who walks all over town, becuase she can't drive. I work at least twenty hours a week, Just to pay for AP classes.  To some, I'm simply that.  A hardworker.
Day zero: You are in a warm bathtub, and you are drunk. Your girlfriend just broke up with you. You are texting your friends that you are worthless, That you are tired,
One cut That's all it takes. For the addiction to start.  Five years have passed. The collection of scars has grown. It's only gotten worse. Nobody sees it. Nobody helps. 
Its not easy They said You'll have to struggle They said Don't be a rebel They said I didn't even intend to be one However there were other things They never said
I….Self…Harm… I cut…. I cut because it’s normal. I cut because it’s my relief. I cut because I’ve been doing it for so long.
I wanted to hold him I wanted to tell him it would be okay I wanted to hug him and tell him "breathe" I wanted to squeeze him and suffocate him until he remembered to breathe
I can't stop.  You keep warning me that I will never make it to the top. I will never reach my goal,
Courage is one thing that no one can ever take away from you. 
Sometimes you ask me why Why did I ruin it? That lovely skin that you never cared to mention Was lovely. You never cared to ask me why I felt like the tears felt like they were running down my soul
I have tripped over luck and stumbled upon tragedy. I find myself stuck in an elevated, praised, honoured institution, full of the most vile and wretched creatures to fill this earth.
You pressed your secrets into my skinLike they were the most delicate ofFlowers, IPut them between the pages of only myFavorite books, and even thenOnly the ones I knew you’d like
I love you like a drunkLoves a drinkLike my skinLoves the kiss of a bladeLike my dogLoves table scrapsLike youLove herI love you desperatelyWholelyEndlessly, passionately
"It's allergies" She smiles "I studied" She smiles "They're growth marks"  She smiles "I have no idea where that came from" She smiles "I cant imagine the pain" She smiles
She sits in silence Listening to her heart beating One, she says to herself As her heart beat quickens And the razor slices her skin Two she says Another slice
As if "getting better" makes up for the amount of time spent deciding if this constant allusion to her future is even worth the present
bruised up barely breathing
I will tell you what I am not. I am not someone to be pushed around, or someone who likes their emotions to be played with. I AM a human being, I am someone with feelings inside of me, and a beating heart.
crystal clear tears gather in my stinging eyes
I                                                                             AM Not                                                                     sad
I am Spring, 2013 You were in a coma Accidental drug overdose I felt like I died   I am Fall, 2013 Things got better For everyone but me You see, I got worse  
Staring in the mirror
Am I like you?
You made a promise One you couldn't keep
Succumbing again to the evil weakness
No, my parents do not fight. No, my grades aren't bad. No, my family's wallets aren't tight. No, I do not appear to be sad.   No, I am not called ugly or fat.
There was a time when, she felt helpless. Her sadness was known, all over town. Her heart turned cold, laughs were forced. Until the day, she finally woke up. Finally her dull grey eyes, went back to crystal blue.
Within my body marked on my arms Lies these dark lines That are called scars I did it once And thought I'd stop But then I kept going And couldn't get enough
It will be gone b
Imagine... You're just a normal person You live like everyone else Happy, smiling, the most loved person in your circle of friends Great grades, fantastic job, nothing could possibly be wrong
A picture painted in red, Crimson sliding down a canvas of snow-white skin. Creating cracks in porcelain as the knife cuts deeper, The bright fluid oozing out from underneath the surface. Dulled senses are awoken,
In the hanging garden. Death. Death is calling. It wants. It needs. For me. To be set free.  
When my parents divorced each other, At the age of 5, I told myself, I will be different, I will succeed.   When cystic acne ravaged my face and body,
That night rain made the skies look like wet parchment
If you break my heart, I will rip you up and apart. You painted me a picture. You made art. Like light, you disappear when it's dark, And our goodbye has left an ugly scar.  
Me. Its not as simple as most people would think to define me.
The urge has come back to give into the attack
How many times have I found myself like this?
It's weird to feel your chest ache,
So tell me how you spent your family's money on cheap cigars you couldn't quit Tell me how you destroyed your room to mask the pain in your heart, but you couldn't forget
Honey please, put the razor down Please, don't tie that rope to the ceiling We need you here I need you here And somewhere, your future love is waiting for you
I found the tears of your abandoned soul while searching for the life of mine.
 And no, dear, some things can’t stop time,
 But if I could break all of my pocket watches, 
Maybe the boxes that split you would disappear.
Isn’t her smile radiant? Doesn’t it shine so bright? Can’t you see she’s happy?  
Dear Love
Darling Darling
We've only been friends for two years but I can see the scars on her wrist. (those horizontal lines all in a row) And I can't say anything because some topics are off-limits! not allowed!
i had taken 50 tylenol, in intervals of five on april 2ndapril 2nd, because i felt that april 1st would be a day too cruel to get a call from your child's school
I met her on a Thursday.I talked with her on a Thursday.I bought her a coffee and gave her my number and fell for her on a Thursday.
She sits there staring at her wrist Blade in hand She begins to draw thin lines Bursts of red exploding from her skin Voices of her classmates and even herself Scream at her words of destruction
Please don't cut, please don't cry Just come here beside me and lie Your head on the down of your wings My sweet little Angel, who can't stand the state of things This isn't forever, please don't say goodbye
There was nothing left.
She was unbreakable Nothing fazed her She was alway smiling And everyone knew her name   That quirky tilt of her head Always arguing with herself And that black sweatshirt whe always wore
Just once… That’s what she said once to ease the pain
I think in pictures, not words.
You writhe up above me, demon oh so lovely Your talons dig within me, like our love...but skin deep. Your secret tears fall around me, till in your all i’m drowning.
Open, scene one, mid April.
A six year old girl ran to the bathroom And stretched Scotch tape from her eyes to her ears To make herself as pretty as girls society consumes To hide her insecurities, and fears
So many visits So many pills Theyre supposed to make me better but only make me more ill A pill for my depression A pill for the rage A new pill added each year As I progress in age
Stripping your skin is only temporary, But  maybe the scars will be contrary.
I was not beautiful. I am not beautiful. I will never be beautiful. But I could be thin. It began as a whisper It grew louder, it spoke to me Until every day it was a Screaming in my ear,
You say I’m okay On the outside So I must be alright To keep going But have you once thought About how I feel inside
I once saw my body Like a forest, burned to the ground and uninhabitable.   My hair drops like leaves As the cold makes me shake And at first I think I am death.   
I was little when disposable cameras were "the thing"Polaroids were fading out. I would pose for my mother in my new school clothes Silly faces, ballerina, peace signs.
If you take a look at me, with my piercings, my unnatural hair that feels more natural than the mousey brown I was born with, you can guess
Stuck in life? Don't cry  Strut with pride! Hope to die?  Don't end your life End the strife! Get some time Just free your life And be happy. 
When I was five I was considered for having OCD. To my family at the time they laughed at how I was "considered". It's a mental illness, you either have it or you don't.
The feel of the keyboard Is like the piano keys How I make music with words That no one wants to hear They continue to disappear  Like Forbidden Fruit  Can anyone dare to ever take a bite
I dreamt that I was witnessing a war Not in full action But of its ancient history   Looking at the artifacts of someone else's life Wondering who'd they'd been Where they'd walked
Red
  To signify the pulse between my veins Escaping outside             Of my paper-thin skin   To identify who you are        As you are choking me In my sleep  
I. Comfort me in the time of hour At a time of utter loss That I see thy face as a partial flower   Pure and mighty were thy words In a storm they have caressed me
My pencil rests delicately against paper
for as long as i can remember, my friend Lindsey has been in love with Peter Pan.on a night of pill bottles and pale skin, Peter visited herhospital room and the green fringes of his kid-clothes 
Prick my finger on thistle That speaks sweetly, of royalty Find the moth-eaten holes in its words Through the smell of my copper-scented blood   Trap me in amber and hide me away
Why do I feel like I have to hide, If we are all a little broken inside? Maybe I am ashamed or at times a little scared, but I shouldn’t have to feel this way. I wish I could make them accept me,
The scars They scatter your skin A scathing reminder Of the internal warzone.    The silver slither of  the  sharpness weighing a ton between your  finger tips
I have many scarsI used to say I had more scars than friendsThey were better friends at timesAlways there for meAnd my blade there to provide a quick cold kissReminding me I was alive
Clouded visions of darkness was a all I could see. I reached out, looking for a hand but no one was with me. How could life be so hard when it came to me? But for everybody else it was easy.
"Be yourself" I hear that a lot But it's hard to be myself when people hate me   "Be yourself" My mother said in one ear As society said in the other to change everything else  
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”                                                                           -Albert Einstein
Not now, love. It'll be ok Ok Ok Everyone left you, love, for the police blue and blood red and I know, love, that i'm the only one you have and I know, love, that you're slowly going mad
The silence that fills his ears mirrors the emptiness that lives within him.Yet the chaos that controls his mindpenetrates as deeply as the scars that litter his skin.
I get that they're jokes
Save me from the surroundings, which are crawling upon me Don’t turn around and walk away when I’m falling on the ground Screams get louder and louder busting my eardrums from the inside
Beginning of sophomore year something had changed. Summer had left us strange and our voice  became locked and contained.  We were silent. It didn’t happen to us all, it first only affected a few
You are enough You are enough You are so enough, You have no idea how enough YOU are.  You are the light in my darkness. You are the happiness behind your mom's eyes. 
Fate has bound us together,With slack ropes and rusted chainsIn a one sided tug-of-warI struggle to support the weight of your soulAnd my own  
Let’s not romanticize high school love. You’re not Romeo, no matter what you think. In fact, I’d hope you’re better. I hope.   I think that I’m better, I think. Even though she broke my heart.
A little stuffed pugto replace to one you lostso long agohas watched you all this time.I've seen you grow,I've watched you learn,and already I knowthis is not what you wanted.
When I'm gone they'll say they loved me They'll claim they had no hate But the reason that I'm dead Is because they came too late The ground will cover me now As they gather 'round to watch
A fathers damaged heart A son who threw the dart A mothers tear of fear A drug thats all to real A brothers loss of trust A family built on rust Its crumbling in decay
You know what's beautiful?
The things that are kept inside
Snap Well, it’s broken now Does anyone really want it now? Who would want a broken arrow? Useless That’s all it is
War
  I don't want to look in the mirror and see failure anymore.  I don't want to wish away my shadow.  I want to think of my reflection as beautiful. 
I was addicted You would not believe it when I told you
When stuff goes to hell Sometimes we just break away Away from the world.   We all have problems We all endure suffering But we just can't leave.   Find your own anchor.
They think I have it all figured out, but they are truly mistaken.   Fake smiiles and keeping my feelings inside, the troubles and pain, you can only see it deep in my eyes.  
They think I have it all figured out, but they are truly mistaken.   Fake smiiles and keeping my feelings inside, the troubles and pain, you can only see it deep in my eyes.  
They think I have it all figured out, but they are truly mistaken.   Fake smiiles and keeping my feelings inside, the troubles and pain, you can only see it deep in my eyes.  
No piece of artwork looks the same, because they are not meant to be, yet we still stare at the mirror 
Diamonds fill the sky Just as they pierce her skin and become rubies But she will never grace their beauty with her gaze Leaves become the gradient colors of the sunset But she does not see them
The sun comes up, it's been a hard night. Her eyes are red, swollen from nights of fighting her own inner demons. The ones no one even realizes exists. She drags herself from her bed, her sanctuary, 
* Rriiiing * *Rriiiing* I'm serious this time.  *Rriiiing* No False alarm. I'm really going to fucking - Answer Goddamit ! 
If a girl hits the floor because she hasn't eaten in three days But she's still fat Does she even make a sound?   We see eating disorders and depression and anxiety Through the fucked up lense of television
I try to stand upright, but I just keep falling. I try to keep the blade away, but I just keep bleeding. I try not to puke, but my throat is raw. I try to care, but I just can't.
Here’s to high school,
Saddened self harmers, Battling bulimics, Angsty anorexics, Isolated insomniacs, Scared schizophrenics, Lonely lesbians, Gloomy gays, Battling bisexuals, Troubled transexuals,
"This is wrong," She whispered, As tears ran down her face, "You shouldn't be here," She told him, As he kissed her skin, Leaving behind something, That can never be taken back,
Look up kid, the stars are still in place, the moon hasn’t left, there’s no pressure there. So stay, watch the sky. Just, stay. Don’t hide, the leaves are changing and the field is dead,
Red
She glances around, Then ducks into the bathroom.
The Other Me   Happiness (adjective) Feeling pleasure or joy It’s the perky energetic kid that has
Listen, have you heard? No. when I speak to think I'm the center of attention is absurd. Every week; a rise in tension because they terroize this nerd,
1 cut 2 cut 3 cut 4… I drop my metal savior to the floor… My body turns cold and now I cry… Because I know I made a mistake and now I’m dying… My hands turn blue and my face is numb..
 The Feels are slowly seeping in. From deep within I feel them rising. Growing stronger by the moment, I wonder if I can fight them. I put on a grin and bear the day. I know that this is the only way.
It's been another long night With another hard fight That I endure alone Because so few know And nobody cares That my skin tears When I'm left to myself Because there is nobody else
Take a look around. People walk around with smiles on their faces and secrets in their heart.   The girl you just passed on the street wears long sleeves to cover the bruises she gets from her father,
I'll sit in my room singing to no one. Play in the rain so everyone can see. I exist. I do. You don't see me but I'm here. Always here. I gotta do these things to me feel real. For truth, I'm fading. I know it's true.
I'd like to think after all I've been through, I have every right to hurt my self right? After so long without control I need it.
I don't cut do die. Its the exact opposite actually. Really, I cut to live. It breaths life back into my empty shell. After so long you just can't refuse the call. I've cried for it. I don't want to go back to crying.
I tried to write poetry on my wrist but the blood spread and smeared and now I can't read a thing.
i am covered in scars tiney white and purple lines cover my wrists  and my thighs and my upper arms and my stomach and sometimes i can still imagine the blood drips   but i have escaped.
Helpless and weary, I try to stand strong this conflict I have fough, far too long. Every night when I lay in bed,
We wonder, we ponder how tragedy must feel Is it like burning or a pure sensation With every waking moment you feel broken and helpless As you weep in sorrow you think of all the good times and laughter
Behold Teacher! I am the perfect teen! I am exactly who you want me to be. I never break the law and your homework is my hobby. I prefer reading the dictionary to TV
Angels have dropped out of the sky Leaving black plumes in their wake The feathers from their wings Have left tears on the faces of those who loved them And lost them.  
I lay upon a rubbery bed, My mind fuzzy with lethargy, And ponder what was in my head, When I had decided not to sleep, And that's when they dragged her in,
Plaster walls,full of cracksbreaking in.Press my backagainst the door…Falling through the floor.Mirror, mirror that I see,Mirror, dear, do you love me?Hunger bites,claws my skin.
I still am lost in the wonder of its beauty So sweet it is As it just lays there Deep in red valor   I want nothing more Than to freeze this time This time that is sacred and rare
I read the words of the broken written in blood dig deeper, dig deeper Why you hurtin' so much?   She feels nothing anymore nothing at all Pills and a razor
I make lines They represent reality It becomes harsh The lines do too They see it as pain Angst Loneliness Stop looking with your eyes They only obscure
My heart is like glass One word One action Can shatter it so easily   My heart is like glass No father Arguements everyday Sorrow and heartache   My heart is ike gass
She was getting skinnier By the day So much thinner By the week. The sickness Invading her body; Intruding, Uninvited, Fatal. Her bones Protruding. Her mother
There are meadows we all will see , my friend There are meadows we all will see. There are flowers sprung up amid the sidewalk cracks There are seashells in the sea. Your time is yet to rise up
The scars on my arm drive us farther apart...
Twisted, I missed you, and I hate you so much But my hunger, desire, confirmed by your touch So cold, so sharp, but I love your embrace I loathe that I love our discolored lace
You’d never know the mess she made; she always locked the door behind her The cold made her ever more careful, she could never be too sure What she did in the dark she kept to herself, she wanted to fool them all
A girl stands motionless in the falling rain. The clouds cas a dark shadow that scratches her face. Bitter cold nips at her bare arms as she huddles in a deserted cave. This "cave" is her bedroom where she welcomes the cold and darkness.
I know what you're thinking I know just how you feel The things in life, they don't seem to be real How can everything end up this way? How can I alleviate my pain?
You're body is a temple, its been trampled upon by many destruction all over you. Sex with a new one twice a day because you need a remedy. Burying yourself deeper in your sorrow
I signed up for Facebook without knowing the consequences I didn't realize that when I logged in today the rumors would follow me here too I scroll through an infinite number of notifications, accusations
CRUMBLE CRUMBLE CRUMBLE
Little ruby beadslaced across my skinin perfect little linesit’s so good it must be sin. Tiny cherry dropletsgrowing on a vineof licorice and maroonscarlet-crimson colored twine.
I see a familiar looking girl,
Everyword you say to me hits me like a razor blade cool metel against warm skin
Rumble and TumbleToil and TroubleMy body is hungryIt wishes to be fedBut my mind dejects 
Pluck out my hair
bands and bangles
Please stop cutting -  cutting your arms, 
Remember to believe in the sun when its not shining Remember when you think you cant, that its worth trying
  We all knew her before her mind took her under under a spell know one is sure no cure It happened so fast a spiraling of events I imagine the grief they must have in their souls
The familiar faces around the room. Their faces so sad,
He told me, "Put down the cigarette,"
Let us find the lost wordsAnd write them down.Let us pick up the piecesThat fell on the groundLet us rise up and proclaimOur life again.I can't understand the painyou felt that day
Do you know what it is you need? Or will you just continue to bleed? Will you keep choking yourself? While I try to contain myself Are you sure that you want to die? Do you need someone to comply?
I am left with no words when the mirror yells back   All of my faults.   All in one frame  
The smoke lighting up the distance Danced from the corner of the room Soft, warm, deathly. In this moment the harsh darkness Does not matter. Sinking into the seat as the light Caresses the shadow.
The moment you crawled from the warmth of your mother’s wombis the moment that everything changed, though you didn’t realize it.
From the very first breath at fresh life she wasn't there. It didn't occur until I relapsed that I was eight when she came back. And they told me to love her even though she left me for the boys.
In fifth gradeI ate rotten meatbecause a ten year oldcannot hate themselves. In sixth grademy dad left for the sixthand the final timeand I started blacking outfrom trying to hunt him down
            She looks up from the porcelain sink to see the reflection of a girl. Her face is drained of color and her lips tremble.
See it all began with a feeling a feeling of emptiness of loneliness and numbness a feeling we felt we could conquer we could beat but we couldn't it took over our lives like Rome did to Europe and just like Rome it came crumbling down.
Twinkle twinkle world of mine How I hoped you knew what I felt As I walk this lonley path Tears roll down my horrid face While I cut with no regret
 He used to tell me that I wasn't good enough. He used to hurt me, but on the outside I just played along. I never looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. I put scars on my skin, like he etched on my heart.
Thenis what I never want to be again.Then is that alarm clock-esque reminderwith no snooze.
I asked my dear friend 
I guess you can say we all have two personalities:   The one during the day, If we asked if we are happy,
If I was thinner, Would you like me? If I was taller, Would you like me?
 
Once upon a time there was a wandering child Who found herself in a cold, dark wasteland. Once it was her safe haven, now her never-waking nightmare. She searches in the fog for the answers.  
BPD
You say we can come to you when needed We need you to listen when you’re called But you won’t be there when we’re crying You’re not there for us at all.  
Willpower
the flourescent lightson her iridescent skinreveal the railroad tracksof her train with no brakes"all aboard," the ageless conductor criesshe climbs in.
I was too young, how could I know It wasn't right, but did I show To those outside who knew me well Could they not see, could they not tell
ill
The doctors continuously rave about the improvement I have supposedley made but somewhere deep down inside I am aware that in the end I cant be saved.   To them I have only been
Some call it crazy, Some say it’s sick, but I think it’s freedom, the pain is fierce, but quick.   Some say that it’s a sin, just a little to risqué. But it helps to release the pain
Life is a prison Won’t someone let me out? There’s no one around To hear when I shout.   Climb the walls of insanity Jump into the pit of despair. If I fall it won’t matter
My toes touch the edge, I look down. I see the darkness beneath the ground.   I look up, searching for light. All I see is darkness deep in the night.  
In a life full of sorrow and strife, The only thing I want to do is hold the knife. The knife that cuts, the knife that scars, The knife that stops most of the wars.   The wars inside, the fights on the out.
The slits on her wrist, The burns on her calf. Not eating for weeks, Hating herself.   These are not things to glorify, They should not able to. Be seen clearly,
WhoreSlutBitchCuntLiarWords hurt.They pile into my eardrums.How?Why?Wrong?Questions fill my head.I don't know. I don't know.I don't know.
The Night arrived room, The flame lit up the glistening blade. Her towel fell from her body, on the ground it laid.   A drop of moisture from her hair, curved her upwards chest.
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face I love being able to tell myself it'll be okay   Even though last night was nothing but a mess I was able to wake up this morning with no stress  
Some people don’t know that there is a pain that never ends.
  Chains Chains clinking metal frozen wrists bound reaching for freedom no key to set me free or strength to uncuff
I'm killing myself, I know. Each time the knife hits my skin. The teachers don't care, The students just stare.  The nurse just told me to pray. They send me away,  To not deal with my shit, 
Forever engaged to silence  getting through day by day smiling and laughing  pretending your okay "Im fine" or my favorite "I already ate" she pretended to happy  but all that was fake
The butterflies swarm inside my head,My mind decides to tell them everything I've said.Fluttering, moving, spacing out,They come from all directions to have no doubts.Peaking and peering inside my mind,
I’m sorry if it’s strange, but I don’t feel right And it’s taken me a while to figure out why. Now it’s hit me, I know why I feel so undone. I’m just not fighting anymore.
dissapointment when the 16 year old boy kills himself for no known reason how your bestfriend changes faster than the seasons and how when its winter you want summer and when its summer you want fall
I try to focus Be the student you all want But bad thoughts corrupt 
Open to the world Just a second As my stomach is twirled I look down and see how hectic
I watch her from a distance she's just two desks down from mine She's just an average girl  so it seems... But beyond her firm composture  is a broken being A girl who refuses to reflect the pain
It's all cutting into her, the more she tries, the more she bleedsShe feels like she can't choose right from wrongShe can't solve that problemWhy should she try, she feels like she doesn't matter
You tell me to raise my hand when I know the answer.  I have several answers for the things you want me to know. I know where Belgium is. I know why CO2 is a greenhouse gas. I know who the fifth president was.
A word.    One word.    It enters through my ear,    It wiggles through my mind,   
Hips, ribs, and collar bones; Never hurt by sticks or stones. Words made you this way. "I can't stand myself!" you say.   You think they're right, You think you're wrong. "Keep it up,"
Teachers Why don’t you stop lecturing And listen for a change                    Maybe pay attention to the kids in the back row Who might have some scars to show And goes home to cut and feel low
  There are just something you cannot fix Trust me, I know I used to write letters to a girl who had slits on her wrist To say the least, she was sadistic She was sad and had a sickness
The scars on your arms  do not mean you gave up they mean you were strong enough to stop the pain  to stop the hurt. They mean that you didn't take anyones crap you proved to yourself 
Am I real? I see my shadow, I feel my skin, Yet on the inside, I feel numb. Am I real? I cut myself every day, Yet I don’t feel any pain. I’ve been deadened. Am I real?
I sit here letting out silent pleas With the blood that I bleed. I cut myself, once again, Hoping that it will cause my heart to bend Bend yet not break But in the end, I can barely keep myself awake.
I am broken. My skin, my soul, my heart, my mind. I am broken. I am wounded. My heart has been stabbed  and Is bleeding out of silence Crying hoping someone would see…. But they don’t. 
I try my best to hide it fom everyone,  I tried to tell someone,  anyone. No one believes me, They push me away, They do not want to hear it. I continue to cut,
If I were to harm myself can you tell me how you'd feel? Would you feel ashamed of it, of how you made me kneel? 
She'll tell you: You're ugly and fat. and guess what- You'll always believe her.
  I don’t know howto cope right nowI’ve got a blade in my palman urge in my bodytoo many feelings in my brainand so many things I didn’t say
No miss, you don't understandHe doesn't “like” meHe doesn't “like” me at allThat's what this is all about, seeHe calls me fat, missAll the timeGuys don't do that to girls they “like”
Make a slice on each armDon't worry it won't do much harmSkips a few mealsIt's not that big of a deal Take a bottle of pillsAnd watch your body lye stillPut a bullet in your headAnd watch the blood pool on the bed
She sits alone In the dark Trying to find the light In the only thing she has ever known In her hand she holds a knife It’s her only escape from the world Where she’s all alone Innocent child
If you existed, Would you look at me as a future image of you? If I prayed, I would drop to my knees and beg and plead for you to be shielded, From the twister,
Raident little girls          living in galaxies                   where mud is melted rainbows                                                                turn in to
There are secrets—Well, there are always secrets. But there are secrets that lie in wait for me. They lie just below the surface.
I have a bad habit of developingbad habits.
When I look back at my high school yearsAnd think about all the tears From when I woke up every dayTo when I bowed my head at night to pray "God please stop the pain""Please stop everyday the words they rain"
I lose my substance and I fade away. Becoming transparent, I see them through my looking glass.  Terrifying brutality. Hyperventilating, I let my breath  fog my vision.
Head fuzzy, eyes weak everything’s too sharp and loud my hands are steady but inside i’m shaking and i feel too big to fit in this puny broken mortal body
Death is her wish and life is her bliss. There are cuts on her wrist because she can't hide the pain. The only trace  of words filled with hate  are those wounds on her skin.
you wear Sadness as an oversized sweateras a familiar haircut-never ostentatiousinstead always quietalways specious.
They Tell Me I'm Brave Because I argue with the teachers When I know they're wrong   They Tell Me I'm Caring Because I always stand for those Who'll never be strong  
Individuality is a rarity We live in a world of carbon copies Of mass productions A world where uniqueness is taken for granted And similiraty is highly evident
Dear Lauren, Your head is on moving mountains While your heart is broken into thousands And today you fell off the track But I'd like to guide you back
I saw her. Yes, her, the woman who was always dressed in black, she also had black wings, just like I imagined her. She came to my dreams last night. She had the same hair as me, only darker. She had the same eyes as me, only wetter. She was me.
A pressure to burnSpilling over, through my eyesSo I run, for a place to find sanction.And it's dirty, and lonely, and sick, (just like me)this is the perfect placeto find my own goD--
Death is opportunity Life is the challenge.   Opportunity to relapse Challenge to stay above.   Opportunity to give up Challenge to remain on track.   I am a survivor.
The first time I was attacked I was nine years old They liked to call me an 'it' And blamed me for killing the class plants growing by the windowsill. Later on in the year my teacher left the room for ten minutes
Sadness took over my body, Seeping down into my bones,  I spent nights uncontrollably sobbing, Feeling completely alone.  The sadness overpowered me,  To the point where I couldn't leave my bed, 
Silver and crimson over and over Across my arms, along my wrists and neck My good friends help me keep my composure When I am stressed, help keep emotions in check We all need a release and I had mine
I live inside my own head where there is a garden and no door “you let the garden wilt & rot” “I wanted to,” I said Doll lips upon the petals trying to breathe life back into the garden.
What is one to doWhen all you can envisionIs an impending visit fromThe cops, inquiring about theLatest teen statistics?
Blood Blood Blood Blood everywhere On the sink on the toilets on my hands in my hair Blood Blood Blood everywhere Am I living or am I dying Drowning in despair Blood Blood Blood Blood everywhere
  I was having A pretty better-than-average day at my well-paying job Repeating my pleasant cashier script to my mostly-pleasant customers Pretending all of life’s boo-boos don’t exist
We're so Starving.   Looking in the mirror, mistaking what we see for what we believe Knowing the media makes billions of off billions of insecurities. Humans on their knees, ashamed to feed
        It began with button. “Butt-uhnn” I said excitedly while pointing at my mother's navel, and then my own indentation where I was once attached.  
The loneliness consumes me like a disease marked black with the stench of death. A feeling of isolation comes and goes, as sometimes I like it, and sometimes I don't. The weathered floor of my mediocre bedroom
I almost made it through the year unscathed.Life's funny that way.Had me thinking things were all good,but the impending stormknew better.
The silent urgeTo end my lifeSearching for bloodOn my skin with a knifeI do not flinchAs the blade runs deepBlood spilling overWith a painless creepAnother cutAnother tear
It’s 3am and I can hear myself breathing but I’m questioning the breaths. What if I told you that I’m not really here? I am just a blurry vision in the mirror where I slice my wrists and hold them up to God.
  I feel my pulse throb in my fingers, Watch as the smoke dances between my swollen digits, But my head is lost in a haze. Take another hit, try to fly away, To rest in the sky for a while,
 “You can never win” Society roars They seek for more More is what they yearn A sudden fill of whispers fill the air Not ever so rare You can never win Tears protrude
My secret is worthy. To be guarded like the keep of one-hundred dragons. It lies inside a rotted chest, crueal and wicked and warped though I mean to hide it well beneath its translucent wood. What must be kept I cannot keep.
  Your words taste like caramel in my mouth. But words of wisdom do not exist. Those who think the dangerous thoughts That if, Dribbled out, Would indeed disturb the universe
Me
Before I start to cry I force myself to stop. As I feel the tears start to form, I stop thinking and hold it in. Sometimes I dont want to hold it in But I know if I let just one tear fall,
Scars fade, Memories last. I remember those long, sleepless nights, Where I sat in my bed, Blade in my hand. Watching the blood slowly begin to appear, from the freshly made cuts.
I will lay down today, and my world will melt away. Let my heart lake flight. I wont even put up a fight. I will watch as everything goes black, with a fear that I lack.
I wish you could see The freckles you hate are the ones I love. Those curls you try to straighten are the ones I can't wait to see The eyes you think no one could love are burned into my soul  
She had always liked him, but never truly knew why. He hardly ever talked to her, normally he'd just pass by. She smiled at him in the hall, he would simply nod his head. "I'm just not interested," is what he always said.
Web
I met a black widow, weeping crimson tears from 8 wrists who spun sorrow into silk
one cut two its what you do three cut four when you're feeling poor five cut six
I have a sickening fascination with bruises and cuts because they come from experience, from living, from accidents, from memories and sometimes people create them on purpose
 
Can't you see me,The pain in my eyes?I'm used to this pain...No body knows the real me.  Can you hear my heart cry?  I lay in bed at night.I cry myself to sleep,Hoping one day...I won't awake. 
Society has millions of images designed to represent beauty Yet not one of those images are similar to me. There are thousands of different body shapes and sizes Maybe that's why I struggle when looking for clothes.
It is rare  to see an adult walking around with scars that litter their body   Was it because they were happier generation?   Or, maybe, it is because that most of us
Make it stop! Make it stop! Just let me be FREE Free from the pain Free from the thoughts Free from my own mind! I don't want to be trapped forever  one thing I know for sure,
Starving my body, starving my soulI cannot tell what is my goalEat that today, eat nothing tomorrowMy mother's scale I might have to borrowCheck my weight, look towards the groundOh my God, I gained a pound
Momma didn't want you and Daddy didn't stay. But the razors your may see take all the pain away. When no one's in the house, you feel safe and calm. When they return, you're like louse,
I drape over her body:shrunkencoldsevere.The cavernous spaces,like trenchesrunning downthe sides,welcome me tofilltheir voids.Like snow,I blanket her geography.
Someday she’ll find I’ve left my head Sometime she’ll fine I won’t get out of bed I’m a pathetic Pretentious Waste of plastic I can’t take my face so I’ll bathe it in acid
a daily dose of teasing parents understand it as character building does character building come home with tears? does it come with bruises on your arm? no making it impossible to escape, fighting for every form of exit
Taking the risk to spend the time The currency which cannot be returned On those you yet to know are worth it And no idea when the rope will be burned   Contemplation of future events
    Only the cutters know why they cut.     Only the runners know where they run.     Only the dreamers know what they dream.     Only the gamers know how to game.
I'm just a piece of paper I can't hurt anyone, except for a little sting But people can hurt me People can crumple me I can't be flattened out again People can tear me I won't be the same again
As one who speaks from experience I can tell you these things.  
I hid behind pretty words and fake smiles, while behind them i was always lost and confused, you made me feel so safe at your side like i belonged there.. yet so horribly vulnerable i wanted to disapear, so i ran...
She sat in her chair across from me Scribbling on a pad of paper that held pieces of my life in a careless pattern “Write,” she said. So simple and stupid As if writing in a journal can change my problems
End
Heavy breathing. Wrists bleeding. Mind freeing. Heart releasing. Eyes tearing. Body collapsing. Life ending.
Have you ever seen the rain come down? Those days where the grey is less white than the pain, Desolated days where the chains hold you at bay, yet the wind ceases to balm
the cuts you make are little secrets, and the longer their duration, the more intimately familiar you become with them. you know the feel of each and how many are on each arm, each knee, each calf.
Once I fall down the staircase,I look into the red horizon,wishing only to grabhold of the railing that leads down the staircase of my mind.
Poetry: My lifesupport, My lifeforce, My sweet, sweet savior, He is the one I crave; My one true, lone lover. With each line we scribe together He gently kisses the pain, The depression,
So stabilize;
The darkness, the darkness, the darkness, I can feel it behind me Its breath heavy on my neck Cut, slice, tear, hang, Whispers fill my thoughts Clouding all senses Why won’t it stop?  
Day goes by without knowledge of it Day goes by just living it Day goes by doing what we know and love Day goes by doing what we can to stay who we are
No one knows I haven’t eaten in weeks; I try my best to act normal; Within this sickness, I have reached my peak; Just waiting for my turn to fall; Sometimes its not so easy to hide; And some begin to get suspicious; But I will continue to push al
Salsa, jalapenos, and cheese dips Are grossly consumed in large quantities Many munching, crunching, snacking with smacking lips One glare sent this way To signal off bystanders a sign screaming be wary
Pass me that instigating pest please Yes, that bag you are holding Pass it here im looking for a key to unlock my stress stuffed deep in mind Hold on, is that the one that makes my eyes bleed
Skipping meals to get thinner than the pill I'm ingesting. Pills I'm ingesting to prevent dry heaving are the only thing I swallow cause it's nothing like eating. Once your skinny they can tell you how fat you used to be.
sometimes i wonder,"why was I born?,why did god create me?",mostly everyone i know told me that they hate me,I'm a cry baby i guess,who's scared and lost,and slits her wrist in pain,"why god?,why me?,this happens everyday",I just go cry,I always l
Your wrist itches Its driving you crazy you know why you need to stop the itch your wrist itches, for the slice from a sharp blade going deep into your skin you grab a knife,
I have trained to be a great house, with thick walls, doors only to open on my account. I needed to separate, to investigate, to deny and to approve for them to come in. Its under my control.
but you can’t choose when the last breath of warm air exits your body. you can lie, motionless… but your eyes still blink. stare into space in hopes that your brain will just halt yet the thoughts still produce
All day at school Feeling Alone No one to talk to Friend? I had not one I was depressed Cuts on my arm I'm not good enough These thoughts causing harm
*Poem is dedicated to my friend who tried to take her own life. How it would have been if she was successful in doing so*
I'm a broken angel I have no wings My heart is black Blood runs cold Wrists stained red From the blood they've bled My eyes are bloodshot Because all the tears I've shed Thoughts are dark
I walked a thin line And sometimes I stumbled, But it wasn’t until the day I spiraled into imminent darkness, That I opened my eyes and saw the surrounding loneliness. The black air I could taste,
This is not a suicide note, I may have depression and sometimes it's really hard to get up and live my life, Sometimes I may cry for no reason and wish I could just give up, But this is not a suicide note, Sure,
I turn my music up loud, wondering maybe if I turn it up enough, someone might notice I’m crying out, I’m drowning in my thoughts but my words live in a drought, my actions give me away, but I inspire no doubts, in those who walk by me as if I wer
she limps hard. She's never walked on two legs before. she claws at the walls, trying to keep steady she glances up, hair streaming down her small face- she's breaking a sweat she takes a deep, hard breath.
It always seemed dark and cold whenever she thought about it, How was she supposed to live her life now, he was all she had? As she left the church where her father's funeral was held,
I fell in love at a young age with the way words danced off of tongues and paper and made people feel things they couldn't feel on their own I wanted to make people feel, too
It was a beautiful day. The sun shone bright, but the clouds were rolling in, Obstructing the wonderful sight. One by one by one by one, They push their way through, blotting out my sun.
I carved your words into my skin Let them sink in and take residence there I let them stain me and and burn my flesh And when the words are finally gone from my skin They’ll still be etched into my mind
“Them”,” us”. “Us”, “we”. By “them” I mean “us”, and by “us” I mean me. But I also mean “them”. Them, us. We, me. The mentally ill that we be.
It was false advertisement, that's what it really was.
although born a female, there was something that i knew i knew that i was different, thoughts that stuck like glue. i put on all the dresses, i did just what they said, but every night i cried, i fought hard inside my head.
Shadows. Hush. They follow you at night. Shhh The ghosts are watching; they know you're not alright.
I see her hurting, lying broken, Air filled with words unspoken, He shouts and breaks again the silence With his ceaseless violence, And yet she remains, standing tall, Leaning, breaking, against the wall,
Tears falling blood dripping knife meets the wrist again slicing away the pain as it grows
It
SHADOW It, who doesn’t hurt It, who doesn’t care But truthfully It is not who It tries to be It is simple and It has feelings Words hurt It and on the inside, It’s feelings scream
We are the misfits. Some of us have learning disabilities. Some of us have social problems. Some of us have been abused. Some of us have depression. Some of us are sick. We are the misfits.
Jane Doe does as Jane Does do. I can’t comprehend what it’s like to feel to not fit in. I am a missing piece to someone’s puzzle, a part of a matching set. I am an ill behaved gypsy in the body of a sovereign.
the dissonance prevails murmurs / mutters / spEAKING / YELLING SHOUTING LOUDLY INTO HIS EARS LIKE BULLETS STRIKING HIM BLow by blow and then a lull returns hushes / whispers / sighing / gROANING
It is cold. Not outside in this physical state but mentally and inside this heart and mind. It is cold. Its something I can't control but it has happened. I am a zombie walking the path of life's hardships.
I sit on the floor as I cry I wonder why is this happening I don't want a new "mom" or "dad" My foster parents say they love me I think I love them too How can I love these people
The teacher asks a question that makes you panic as if you've just seen a stranger outside your bedroom window in the dead of the night. The question is nothing knowledge level: it's something personal.
She slides down the wall, Hoping no one will notice her fall. She bites her lip into submission, Running towards her blade, Hoping to drive away her pain.
What am I really? Flesh and Bones hinged together Strips of tissue wrapped together; binging the pieces together to make the [w]hole. Shell, support, foundation--and the messy in-between.
I want to be marry but how can I when I know the truth my heart being broken in two what marry when the rooms filed with hate
This silence is strange It screams a painful sadness for my ears And this darkness Is like a cold rush of fear For today You, my love Is the end of days
This ring and I have been through it all Seasons, months, funerals and joy This ring is my brother, my sister, and friend Till death do us part this ring is my man
Our two demons came, with different form, neither of us to blame that we couldn't conform. Yours was a bully, against his words I was a shield, defended you fully, until he did yield.
Who is that person staring back at me? I see a lovely girl, Fun loving and talkative. She touches her face Uttering astonishment.
Long brown hair, Dark, frizzy and out of touch. Long black lashes, Glasses that covered her big brown eyes.
Smiling when you feel like crying Laughing when you feel like dying Loving when you feel like hating Apologizing when you've done nothing wrong It's always the same thing Like a repetitive song
Lying to the ones I love and dying in silence. Covering the carpet with blood. Switched over to autopilot. I speak and laugh day by day, but, the outlier on a graph, I'm always wallowing in pain.
Remember when you caught me Bleeding in my bed Hands and face the deepest shade of red And I was floating Through those stars that you call eyes That are brighter than the sunrise and
I was strong when I was questioned about my gender. I was strong when people made fun of the way I looked. I was strong when my "friends" turned the class on me. I was strong when I had no one to turn to...to call friend
Did you ever think what you were going to leave behind, or were you too busy thinking what you were going to say next in your note? You left a male dependent little girl behind.
Little pangs of jealousy and you-can't-have-me balloons filled with blood I'm sick of all the spinning, spinning my soul is doing and soon I'll fall and I didn't care to look for sharp stones or jagged rib cages before I began
I speak the truth, but I am always wrong. Even when I'm right, still, I am wrong. My heart aches and I am wild with grief and agony. But no one must see this. In the morning, the pain and the cuts
She sat alone. Alone and at home Where her screams were silent but her mind was violent. Her insecurities hid deep inside and they did indeed eat her alive. A tear rolled down her face
Her scars were fading out. The red lines in her skin disappearing. Her skirts never came out, and her hoodies were worn in the summer. Bracelets hugged her wrists and no one thought to check.
I woke up and saw myself in the mirror. Bloated. Round. Foul. I am the puppet to my terrible mind. Yet the strings are breaking. I am still moving. Detached and unaware. Empty and disappearing.
When I am queen you all will see the patron saint of self-injury. The glitter sores will heal themselves. I'll play the part of someone else.
He stands alone Fighting to hold it together, but he's already breaking Crying the tears that no one should have to shed Using black to help conceal the pain so red
I’m trying to be strong But it’s so hard when That voice in my head Tells me that I’m just Not good enough No matter what I do I can’t escape it And I am never quite good enough To silence it
A prisoner of my own mind, Obscure is thoughts all born, Beginning as a simple idea, Into a recurring thought well adored.
i have a world inside of me. this that i do, this is merely trying to enter my world.
I am powerless. Powerless to help you. To save you. But you say you don’t want to be saved. Is it because of the power? The power that controls you in that moment? When the edge cuts and the blood flows
I wonder if the world would even care, if I was dead, would it even be aware? I wonder if my family would even notice, if I was gone, would they take long enough to focus?
Why don’t people ever trust me? Why do they always lie? I hate that they say things that aren’t true, and they make me feel like I want to die! I hate this, I hate everything, I want to go away,
I cry because no one understands How strong I have to be against mighty hands Those are the times that caused me to live twice as fast The strong woman I use to be is fading
He is a boy who will never give smiles, Save those for the blood on bathroom tiles, A pallid gaunt face with stars in its eyes, Leaving their tracks whenever he cries, He does not eat, beauty is thin,
My individuality is Locked in a little box. My insane attempts to maintain a higher status-quo Shoot me and throw me down a fiery hole. What the heck am I saying?! I’m surrounded by family and central heating in
The nails are chewed all the way off. Bleeding; skin peeling. It helps the nervousness. The arms are scarred up and down. Cut; skin breaking. It helps the pain. The hair is patchy in some areas.
I want to hear the ring of the gunshot just before I leave my physical self and drift off to wherever I belong. I want to feel the blood drain from my face and out my slit veins; watch it seep into the carpet,
Your opinion of me is so important that I will destroy myself in order to gain your acceptance. I will stop eating so you will think I am skinny. I will wear three pounds of make-up
Take a glimpse into my alternate reality, But there is something new. This sliver of hope, gleaming, so lovely. Don't snatch it from my grasp and pry it from my fingers. It's the only thing I got.
She screamed as terror ripped through her chest, shreds of skin hanging by tendons and blood seeping through. As a physical being, it stood before her, panting, smirking, mocking her pain.
It's 8 a.m. and I wish I were blind. I could spare myself the pain of staring at a reflection dying to change, trapped in this body. I wouldn't have to wear my worn skin,
I want to crochet you a blanket of kisses to keep you warm these chilly winter nights.
You know when you were little And you had your hand In the cookie hand You turned and almost died of embarrassment When you saw your dad’s face
A green-skinned apple in your eye, An autumn sunset, a sweet pink sky, Who, with that mouthful of stars, Breathes summer on your meanest scars, And, with those long-fingered hands Always busy, lets you stand:
Tap tap, on the glass of life that is swift. Lift, up the locusts from their chests, A plague would be uncalled for, so To suggest the progress achieved so much earlier in
I am tired of playing this sick game I don't understand why I always take the blame Sure I don't give people the impression But it sure feels like depression Someone needs to take the pain away
The metal soothes the skin. The red ribbons wrap 'round the wrists, flowing, endless. The waterfalls cascade down ebony cheeks. The laughter echos through the mind. The waterfalls dry. The ribbons end.
What is Love? What is its meaning? Is Love an action? Or is it a feeling? Is Love worth the pain? Is it worth the tears? Will it last a month? Or will it last for years?
I am young, I am free, I am looking for what I want to be. Doctor or a lawyer, a teacher or a poet. Humm, what will I be? I won't be a bully for reason you should know,
(poems go here) I stopped at our house last night. With every inch of driveway that I covered I felt a calming familiarity.
Justice and praise to the things you embrace weeping for the moment despising the shame we take on none and shake off the sun to be drenched in sorrow only to be captured by grace
Im going to die soon, why care about living for. Hardships and force is the only time i praise the lord. And they say, "whenever it rains it pours". I kicked misery out and now im showing pain the door.
Always smiling, never does she have a frown Through the good times, and the bad She stands tall and strong It seems like nothing can break her, nothing at all But look deeper, look into her eyes
That day she wasn't doing too well, we could tell. She seemed a little depressed, we said she needed rest. We had no idea what was inside her head, so she did what we all dread. She cut herself and dropped dead.
She sprints into the barren room. Sad tears stream down her face. She wonders, “Can I not just live, And win this lifelong race”
Have you ever thought? The girl you called fat today in the hallway. She is starving herself. Even though her ribs show and she cans see the bones in her arms. She starves herself.
I was tried of it all The profanity The abuse The lies I told My caring parents I though I couldn’t do anything But when all of the above Came into one I had to do something
You push me down You Kick Me Down You Dig a Hole You Stabbed My Back And push me down Again And Again But what’s the point What’s the problem? I’m I Not good enough
Red, red, deep blood red. A drop, Then a pool, Then a river of blood. Life, flowing from one vein. Once more, a strike to ease the pain. Black, black, empty black. A dot, Then a blur,
Shingles she had accounted sitting for twenty-five Holding onto nothing while her ornaments eat the dust Frost-bitten frigid air whistling on the field Storm-beaten rails singing water-songs -
At the age of 1, I couldn't remember much. I just knew, that when I turned 5 I had to be tough. I told the teachers,I swear I did I told them everytime I got hit in the head.
I fled crime scene no turning back not even glance Remembering myself when given a second chance My body, mind and soul was laid out on the floor Then I realized this is not exactly what I wished for
I didn’t come here to script up a silly rhyme, Putting together letters of the alphabet and creating a story produced on my own time. I came to speak you a lullaby with all the fixings of my broken past I was a little girl.
Never will I forget that dark , winter night, that chilled me like never before Never will I forget the tears and mascara lines streaming down her face as she touched her flesh with the blade that stung like a bee
It’s like a private battle Going on inside my head My mind says, “Use the razor” My heart says, “Live instead”
I pull the blade across my skin How much longer will these voices win? Deeper and deeper, I see blood appear How much more damage can I do here? They think I’m crazy, they think I’m mad
She paints a pretty picture But the story has a twist Her paintbrush is a razor And her canvas is her wrist She paints her pretty picture In a color that's blood red While using her sharp paintbrush
I never wanna be a statistic.
We all carry these burdens deep down inside They lay down beside us while we sleep at night These demons are all in your mind They'll conquer your heart one feeling at a time Hurt escapes from the wounds we endure
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