moving on

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you say you wish you could be happier but do you really try or do you ponder on the past refusing to break the chain that wrapped around your ankle
Even through my thick skin When wits should fit, no quick send Though I won’t miss your shit friends That night, I met my wit’s end Maybe my intent had its rest in The tent I’ve pretended to pitch, in
An aftertnoon stroll has me walking by houses,   with doors that let me back   into realities I used to know. Run down homes with doors whose    screens are coming off the hinges, with doors that
I burn the pages of my oldest notebooks, erasing the ages that have passed me by. I remember the old days, and cheerful jokes told paired with a longing gaze, and my calloused fingertips.
I have trusted you with all my own,  you leave me laying all alone. I cannot bear to keep in mind what you did to your own kind. I did nothing wrong,  but you think I caused it all.
Dear Passat, Or should I say Piss Ant-   You left as fast as you came, but aged, as though every wheel rotation was the mark of a century. I wasn't the first to own you,
i thought i loved You In truth my actions showed my fear of losing You and my want for Your affections
“This is it.” Society breathes, “This is all you need. This man, This husband, he will tell you who you should be.”   Roses and
Text me when you're home Safely Did you eat? I can buy you something Gave you all my love All I could give But what I couldn't do was Forgive
Because I love you, I am patient Waiting as you ramble about things I don’t care about I am patient as I wait for you to message me
I used to obsess about my books being perpendicular on the night stand; that was of course before you found your way into my life.
One year. So much And yet, nothing Lose my life Lose my mind Lose my friends Lose myself. Move.
Written October 22, 2017   Although your chest kisses mine And our thighs are intertwined, I can feel it spewing from your lips.   THIS IS what they speak of
My body is cold. My fingers, frostbitten and blue. The hairs on my arms protrude upwards, bumps litter my sugary skin. I see each breath I take fogging the air and the window in front of me.
I am afraid Of you? of course not. Of me   I am afraid That I will possess you and not just caress you. Who am I to think   That you are mine And noone elses,
he looked me in the eyes and told me please don't cry "it was only this one time i'd never re-commit this crime"   it's been three years since still every time i hear his name, i wince
  I stand alone here in this empty room,    watching people pass by the windows and watching them live.   Each one of them i watch yet only one stands out to me,   
I love him. I say in my head. Over and over. I love him. Of course I love him. Why wouldn't I love him? There's no one better. I'll never find anyone better. I don't deserve any better.
Mom and I were going to leave for the suburbs. I knew. My cousins didn't. Leah and Logan skipped school that day.   I partially convinced Leah. Logan was indifferent. They hid from the bus.
I'll leave you the love I held  for you under our empty bed,  next to the rear-view mirror that once held a picture of our smiles.  I'll leave you the lingering feeling you once gave me
Rotten Core. That's what I found of you the one I adore. Adored. Once you came to my house with that apple, Charming, your smile full of esctacy
When you first took that step from me, I held my breathe to see if you would leave. Even I could see, that after our break, our love was no longer free. Heartache and tears. Contempt and fears.
Maybe we don't have to know; What's there to come in the future. And maybe ten years after everything We'll stumble upon each other again,  laughing about how we broke each other's heart.   Love,
I don't ache as much as I used to my bones are stronger and my soul is too memories don't suffocate me anymore I can think of what used to be and I'm still able to breathe.
The simply complexiteyof eating strawberries onHis kitchen counter,on the one night I had the chanceto lie in His bed,In the pure bliss ofsexual tension and spiritual connection.
Thought I could stay,That what I felt as strong enough that I would'nt feel like walking away.Thought I could stop this;All my doubts,But they keep me up at night,Trying to win this ceaseless war,
In denial for accomplishing nothing for 365 days, again! why try it'll be the same thing, again!
one Sometimes, there are last Christmases, last birthdays, last goodbyes. And sometimes, you don't know that that's what they are until they've gone by. two
Everyday Ι walk over similar roads,   And in every way the same memories replay.  As my feet bring me to the places, my mind brings me to other times.     Back then, and today 
It's been a long four years, each dwindling to an end a little faster than before.My last may be my last but it's all still just a first,Years and months of friends and then none.
I started out the year very unhappy.
Listen as she whispers, silent, sullen tears finding their place on the river as they drip.Shattering the surface of this perfect mirror floor.You left me no choice.I had to walk away.
There are many times I have wished to go back, to change the past. Should’ve said this, Should’ve done that. The list goes on and on… But this is not a movie, And I don’t have a time machine.  
I wish I was harsh like the denial letter from a school. I wish I was bitter like a friend scorned. I wish I could sting even just half as bad as that whiskey you constantly down. I wish I was rough
He came into my life like a whirlwind, sweeping me off my feet, throwing me into a swirl of happiness. Little did I know, he was a dust devil.
There are days when, unbidden and unsought, memories surrounding you enter my thoughts.
In my heart I’ll remember the spring trees and the taste of fruit early in the morning before the sun rises, high in the sky, and paints the world with color.
I
I was a little brat. I threw tantrums. I hit, bit, and scratched. I didn't care about others. I only thought about myself. I loved myself.   I am alone. I isolate myself.
  I greet the day begrudgingly. The sunlight pools in my eyes like tears. It streams down my face and no matter how much I rub it does not come off.
I remember my first A story about hidden pain A story about the desperate cries I remember my first Because then, I had nothing to gain   I found my mind devouring the paper
To you I am just a guy, A guy from whose cup you sipped bitterness, With whom you shared a bed of loneliness. From whose plate you ate pain, To you I am just a guy, Out of whose tongue deception oozes.
  "I hope you always find a reason to smile. "-Anonymous   In the events that occurred I hope you find what you've been missing
Burning bridges is dangerous. It means an ultimatum, A point of no return. Once a bridge is burned, You can never cross again. Build a new bridge in its place, yes, But that first bridge is gone forever.
If you compared her to a fire You’d find they’re much the same Her heart too hot to touch The fire too wild to tame
I kept Looking back For a familiar Face and voice That smiled And cheered me on It hurt for so long When I looked back To see hesitance And eyes looked away It pained me 
The strong voice That proclaims That I won't give up Has withered Into a whisper That mumbles I want to live And people will talk People will point There will be laughs
I lost myself. Why? Why do you do this to me? Constantly blinding my eyes, clouding my mentality, forcing my heart to beat faster. Why? Why do you allow this to happen?
Do you  Ever feel Like you're  Drowning Like the Sun Has stopped Shining Do you ever Feel the darkness Eat away at you All the while Everything
Breaths puff out In the cold chilly air Frost dies underneath And you don't care You try to breathe You lift your feet To take a step On that very long Staircase And you're gone
They smile Well-meaning intentions But how it hurts Your brow furrows You frown At the impudence You speak as if You know me well But knowing me As a child Does not mean
It's gone It's past It won't come back It's dead It's faded There's a crack In what once was But now isn't Anymore It was open But now The door Is closed
Lie
Beautiful lies But once it turns Into truth It's ugly And painful I trusted you With my bare heart And even though I gave support And encouragement When I prayed 
Ever so still Breathing slowly In and out But nothing  At all Seems to come From your heart Icy frozen Deep inside Nothing breaks The hard shell Inside is air
A mountain to climb, an emotional high A divot in our path, and suddenly we crash Into the ocean, drowning in waves I lie in bed, pleading for you to stay A sky to navigate The Great Unknown
A sigh escapes Heart growing cold Tears squeezed out But nothing matters Not at the moment Everything is gone Your life is a lie Or so it seems But no energy Is left behind
him
See now it is over you are with him I must give up  and have hope for something else move on  move on  move on you have potential  move on your mind must belong to yourself 
It’s funny to think of yourself in pieces When the shatter has since become a distant memory
Its been a long time coming,An that has gotta be known.That man's a Red Tornado;My broken heart he has thrown.
Whatever. Whatever you say. Whatever, I don't care...   Whatever that--whatever--means, he can't be bothered to care. "Whatever" he said. ARGH! Just makes me want to pull at my hair  
I never felt safer laying in his arms, seemed like a story. My happy place I never felt more in love listening to his stories, living in a fairy tale. My happy place
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.I say it in my head again.Again. Out loud. But just above a whisper.Repeat it again in the shower. It gets  lost in the melody.Mixing in the steam in the background. 
I've been broken and battered Shaken and shattered I've been waiting for patience By God… I wish life was more gracious   I had lost my way and couldn't see the light
I hope I always remember  
To the girl that looks in the mirror, Your thoughts are in the wind you can’t catch them with your net, you only tie them with your sin.
  When I was young I blew up a balloon Shiny and perfect like a cartoon, I tied it’s string to my wrist, strong and new  Fearing it would leave when the wind blew.   Like my shadow it followed beside
 so glad this happened   I am so happy for you  I'm just in shock is all    I'm not laughing   I don't think it's funny  these are not happy tears   a heart cannot break 
As sitting alone lets me silently ponder, Only does one such I start to wonder What might have been, or what could still be… Neither’s the answer to what I should see. Remember a time when I could see future
i am in love with the memories of being in love with good morning texts and good night lullabies
Just say it.   say what your really think.  I'm a...  bitch     flirt control freak  annoying brat    spoiled severly OCD, boring girl crazy,  type A,  
you always called me pretty 
No regrets No words to explain my thoughts, my feelings, my words. Word’s I use to describe us
    I’ve begun to realize the strength of the human spirit. How much pure tenacity it takes to decide to continue.   I've begun to realize that I’m more than a brain,
Metamorphosis; The process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form In two or more stages.   Metamorphosis; maturity. Caterpillars that eat their knowledge out of Milkweeds
You were my second chance or so I thought
You might not be still present in my life anymore, But you're still here in my heart. All the times we laughed, all the times we talked. I guess you just have forgot.
My mind keeps replaying the mornings when i'd wake up with you on my mind.   2 hours away getting ready, to look good--for you getting butterflies in my stomach
All hopes are shattered The damage is done and wounds, fresh Time to cut all ties
I see a lot of women do this:   They make their way down A flight of stairs,
I could imagine us all alone Hand in hand, just me and you
Now, I can see. I can see myself, now, The way you always seemed to see me: Down on my knees, head touching the ground. My friends never wanted to be me.   But, as I walk, now, head out of the clouds,
I'm sitting in the break room, trying to be alone...  reflecting on my past ; bitter because it's made me different  Yes, I have regrets and remembering adds salt to the wound
The other day she sat beside him for the first time in months She watched his eyes brighten at the thought of his new life without her But the way he sat on his hands told her he was fighting the urge to touch her cheek
There are some things that slowly but surely cease to exist
Sometimes we find ourselves in a very dark place.
take my hand and set me free, from this dream of you and me. Promise me one simple thing, but where to start, where to begin?   maybe a hello,  or maybe goodbye maybe some simple question,
Today would be memories of our journey Together and apart, Of struggles and triumphs over brokenness and unworthiness…   Today would be sweet nothings funny stories soft kisses strong embraces…
Shut your mouth and listen to what it is I have to say I will take you all back on that specific day I was laying in my room listening to the two of you argue
They came floating down The River Wilson, their final destination Lake Walt.   I stood by the bank, as a small child.   What were they?
I miss the world I once knew.
It's not your fault I'm afraid of the sea Even though I ache for the open air and the salty breeze I haven't escaped the shipwrecks on the shore Some never had the chance to sail
Love is unbearable it would be terrible. Feeling the pain believing he has something to gain.
 Our life is full of lies and misconception My presentation of myself is a lie if only if someone can look behind my smiles into my lonely heart if only if someone can tear down my walls once more
It's YOU! It's always been YOU! The one I run to when my life is a mess The one that with a single smile kills all of my stree Your the curve in my smile, the glow in my skin
I remember waking up in the middle of the night.
When you've fallen your arms detach from your body the only thing that isn't numb is your sore heart wet fingers caress your cheeks and soak in your hair nothing else matters and everythings distant
"Forgiveness settles it all" they say
When I was just a wee young thing,I was taught life's lesson well     
when we leave this place that we call home what will be left behind? 
4 years old,
You're all that's ran through her mind,  overthinking and lack of sleep, What was it about you that captivated her? Why was she in so deep? Two years ago she was different, 
She doesn’t love me the way I love her.She baited me like a fish on a lure,and I fell for every line.Now I’m stranded here by the wayside.
In my place I am alone but not lonely I am the wind and my friends are the trees,
Of the anger I felt, The pain deep inside, The hopes that you dashed, The need to hide, The time I gave, The life we made, The kisses we shared, The games we played, The tender embraces,
I met him in the city of angels
I've come to realize
It started in the cool winter night Under the moon and stars Surrounded by light.   Time stopped as the world spun the center of the universe  where the two became one.
My love  You have come  Without words Tongue less in the night  You see me but I cant  I've been bestowed a couple of times but never by a  goddess  Your crippled hands stretch 
A broken heart and shattered dreams Left this man wandering 
Every time I finally start to overcome 
I am bittersweet, Bittersweet and scared. I am unable to let go Of all my fears. Interested in the journey, But very wary of the road, I'm worried by upcoming decisions
Love.Oh why the painnnnThat you have caused me.Just a curse, scars on my body.Broke me down too my knees,
My veins are running dry now,But I’ll try to write this one out.I’ll express the things I thinkWith what’s left of this ink.
I was quick to loose that respect for you only cause I realized it was respect you didn't deserve. At one point you were on a pedastal so high, that everyone else was below you, to me.
They complain when i talk about my problems  Where can I be free? Here I guess- if you don't mind I will express myself.   It's been awhile now, In fact it's been too long.
She sits there, she's pondering.
Ugly, empty, and unwanted. Still ashamed and broken-hearted. Seasons change and people go Misery leaves and still I follow   Lost in a ceaseless crowd Watching others laugh aloud
Not all scars show, and not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't see the pain that others feel Not all lies are false and not all truths are real Sometimes lies are necessary to help you deal  
Y’know that story about shells from the ocean My mom used to tell me to hold them to my ear There’s nothing to fear she would say No crabs or little monsters today
I've dreams of where nothing but joy, love, and knowledge exist. Followed by a sudden wake and a burst of reality. The crop that you grow is the one that you step on. You may not see it, may not acknowledge what you do.
I have red lips from blood
Brown like a beautiful book of stories. Everything you told me. In this life I thought I would believe. A romance, a sparkle and a diamond ring. For that moment we were together. I thought that you would be.
Disability.  The lack of an ability.  A table with a missing leg.
It was during those 547 days with you When I unknowingly conformed to the ideals Of a perfect girlfriend. At least that's what you told me: That I was "perfect". Consequently, I began to feel
Do you ever meet someone who is breath in your lungs?
It's time to let go and let God, literally you're blind without faith cause it's the source in which you see, it leads your intuition and utilizes ambition, faith creates an image so we can imitate Jesus,
It's kind of beautiful how the clouds float together Folding into an oblivion it's even more beautiful here with your head lying back On my knees I listen to your eyes, Because they make everything so real
Your heart belongs to me as well does your souI But never as a whole as I sought far and near, high and low for what I thiugh that should've been there
The Cycle   Pain keeps us afloat. Pain keeps us sane. It allows us to feel something. Without pain, there is no love. Without love, there is no sacrifice.
Connections I make The faces I take for granted Moving with purpose Showing only surface gestures Of good will I hope to fill a void Every step brings me further
The Sinful Truth is what you told time from time to time I would’ve always believed you Anything you told me as long as it ended with ‘’I Love You’’
You messed up not me you lost a great thing not me you're the one who's alone and crying,not me So don't try to compensate now, for the things you did then
I wanted you to be that person I trusted you to be that person The one who won't break my heart and make me cry The one I could depend on to never lie But my expectations were to high it seems
I still think about you I never stopped. Saw no reason to, I guess.
When I first met you
Curly brown hair, Messy in a wonderful kind of way. Green eyes, my favorite color. Tall and lean and oh, That smile. That dimpled smile. That smile that made it all seem alright
Tock Tock Wash your hands.  Remember: paper, lines, game.  Paper: history, English  O.  Did I lock my car? Memorize your lines Rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal. 
Caught off guard; Shock held silent grip; A few sniffles emerged; Red cups in a fence with a bouquet Spelling the words RIP Spez. For the first time Teachers sobed openly in front
Dominicana. Y gringa. Decidete.   So I am both.
What this money means to me  Is that one day I'll succeed I'll succeed to achieve my dreams 
These days feel like half-empty sheets of paper and I don't have enough ink in my pen   My coffee has gone cold but I continue drinking, because drinking is a nervous habit of mine  
  Alone the rain is not your friend It soaks your coat and taps your head Your feet grow cold and you fill with dread
When all is lost And you think it’s over Don’t forget to look over your shoulder   I will be there
We started with a "hey" We ended in "good bye" You left me on the floor Pretending I'm fine But you left me out to dry And all you had were lies I think about you everyday
When you start off young you see yourselfan astronaut among the starsor driving in all the fancy cars. You never know what mess you’ll get in
Sometimes I can't breathe When you're walking next to me. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and just say 'Hello'.   You smile at me and I smile back,
I didn’t fall in love I saw him and I fell on my face Arse over tit, head over heels Tumbling over my handlebars and headlong into something that I didn’t understand but that he did I did not fall in love
i loved you in the curve of your upper lip budding laugh lines at the edge of your eyes.   i loved you in the swell of your lower lip against my own and in the stories the pads of
I thought it was a thing but it was just a fling,truely it was games played by a player. Thought I made myself clear about trust being dear.
What we had lives only in memories in my heart in my soul, in my mind.What we had is gone,gone,echoed only in our shadows.Gone from the light
I only see you in my dreams though I look for you always when I'm walking down the street and in every crowd I look out hoping to see your face (dreading actually seeing you, 
If you really cared you'd wonder: where'd I been? How I was doing? Just what the hell happened that I dropped off the side of the earth?   
He reads his words. I listen to them, Ponder them, Then give feedback. We discuss his artwork, How he expresses himself, And I try to tell him How they affected me.  
From this distance, The outline of her is only visible. Time has made a small impact, But her coldness has caused the gap   I call her name, Only to see her respond to another.
If you had listened You would've known That I wishing for you But you never listened Because you thought You didn't have to   I told you everything On my mind But you should know
DAD
  Dad, where are you? Why aren’t you here?
My fingers have froze the tips are bleeding a gentle stream of flowing red blood. Everything I love is slowly fading away or frozen in time within my mind.
My toes dig deep Deep into the water drenched dirt
Reaching out, gripping your hand with mine, Muscles stretching, tendons straining to hold on. My grip is starting to slip away; I Won't Let Go. Your memories entrenched within my mind,
maybe it's better this way maybe my self respect will transition from an oak relying on your rain to a cactus growing toward her sun because i know she won't be bitter
#24
My life's movin' on. New decisions, thus made. The scars from first love and first sorrow Are gettin' better each day.   Rays of sunshine drop in. Past my desolate days. I'm runnin' and comin'
Your name was once an omenA sacred prayer sent up to heavenThat set the sky ablazeIn your luminescent glory
Forget this town.Now I remember why I left.I don't need you now. Maybe this is a sign.You might have beenjust a phase to me. Getting over youwon't be easy.It'll take time.
thanks again for feeding a child grownwith your acid samplesand gold-flakes. good-to-know there's time after allin the day.
I try to move on the the future, and forget about my past, I don't' wanna waste my life away so fast, you say i have a heart so strong, so everything I have done wasn't all wrong?  I have made my mistakes, So I try to forget about the pointless he
when i was little, i was lonelyi looked for people like me -i found you, and you were greatfor a while at least.
I am not a girl Who loses her head over- Some boy- who smiles at her-                just                      so. You caught me by suprise An emotional accident, anomaly
Kindness, integrity and respect                With the heart of shear compassion and determination Giving up will never be an option                 But failing will not be shameful
Pain, the wound created out of events that life has burdened upon you.    Experience, the wound healed and turned to nothing, but a scar only to be vaguely remembered.  
The heart-wrenching news you tell me nowadays  Is stored in the latched box of my distant mind; it decays Into my deepest and darkest ponders, And upon reminder is where this distraction wanders.  
I want to know who I am I thought I was you…that buried deep inside my soul somewhere lied an essence as pure as yours, not tainted by the neurosis
It's hard to be erased. A whole chapter of my life a waste. You fell at a different pace. So now, tears are all I can taste. I saved your pictures, just in case, Although, I have memorized your face.
I long for a chance to know you again, the way I used to.. To know the dark echoes of your heart, and the pools of light that filled your eyes. I wish I could drown in your self loathing
It’s 3am and I can hear myself breathing but I’m questioning the breaths. What if I told you that I’m not really here? I am just a blurry vision in the mirror where I slice my wrists and hold them up to God.
I drift I never touch the surface I never touch the sky I am in between heaven and hell Glory and guts Existence and death.   Where I am Shifts suddenly I am on top
As the wind whips within my face. The cold sharp agonizing pain brings memories of disgrace.
Nostalgia
Even flowers that give the sweetest scent Must one day wither away. But will you remember how strong they stood Before their ultimate decay?   The future seems full of many days
I'm tearing down the tower where you once lived in the castle of my heart. I'm gonna use all the stones, you won't get any part of the walls, ceiling, or floor. The new tower will be better;
The first step can be the longest. When you want to forget someone. The first step can be challenging. When you feel as if you could never forget them. The first step can be the hardest. When you want to tell them everything. Let them now.
Do you know the difference? It's your new-found lack of interest   The way we used to speak,  About this life,  That romantic time at Miller creek, You made me feel so much alive,
(poems go here)Things come and go, We sit and stare out the window. Thinking what we’ll miss, And would it be different if we hadn’t kiss.   One day there, here, and the next gone,
> Forever mine, > Forever yours: > words littered on > innocent shores. > > Those promises > collapsed by waves, > when washed away, > they've carved our graves.
I let you go a little more each dayI guess it's better that way.Losing you all at once bewilders my soulRipping away a part from a whole.Hey, best friendThought I knew you so well
I have forgotten the way we loved with salt still on our skin,* but not every secret hurt. Blocked out the image of the stained blood color of your lips against her pale parts, the sweetness
Don't try to explain yourself I know the truth I never want to be by myself never wanted to hurt you.
Letters of blue, background of gray. A forlorn hue, a fading day. Memories made, memories lost. Characters built, companions cost. Childhood gone, in body for sure. Maturity's con,
To travel that yonder highway A dream I once had To travel to that far away place Of familiarity and known I ponder of when I will go I do not care where Only that it is far away from there
Memory let your montage play in the theater of my mind to an audience of one. Clips and pieces, images with sounds: they scatter on the screen as shape is taken and form is whole,
I once knew of a girl, Roaming and young, Who closed her eyes when it rained, And envied the sun.
You only held me back. Clipped my wings so I couldn't fly. Well look at me now. Soaring way up high and flying free. You'll never again take that away from me.
The more I look, the more I see, you never wanted me for me. You only wanted what I was not, well congratulations that's what you got. The more I listen, the more I know.
To see everything else Oh, when will it be The home the love Come with me I read I learn I dream of it all The friends the words Come with me
Out of Sight. Out of Mind. sometimes it’s hard to find the paradise I had in mind I fight with all my might and I’m still here. You’re still there. Out of Sight. Still in Mind.
Champagne corks are popping, everyone's wishing you luck on your way. You're leaving this life behind you, at least for a little while. This set of people, these familiar sights and smells gone in a day.
Sitting here waiting buzzzz You text me, “Be right down” “Be right down” turns into Searching for a song on the radio -night radio ….waiting buzzzz
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