mental health

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Ego
Dear Love, What’s been on my mind? An eternal pain. A constant pain.   It's a movement of anxiety and worry that slowly quivers through my body.
A man stolen by alcohol intoxicated monster more as blurred actions tearing family relations not to be remembered by next dawn  
Dear Depression, Hello old friend, It hasn’t been a while, In fact, you’ve been around too long, Weaving your dark filter around my eyes Creating a messed up version of reality where I don’t want to be
Dear Childhood, I wish I had gotten to know you better How long ago was it that I left? It was certainly early
Dear men in my life,   There is so much chaos running through my body Through my veins, Through my mind, Through my soul.  Where can I go To find true peace and happiness?   Love
(TRIGGER WARNING) To the society that turns broken things into beauty, ripped jeans fresh off the line love novels, heroine saved, get my hopes up like i, too, will be saved
Dearest me,I start this letterWith you 
Thrown out of my own home Out into the cold So young, yet so old   Wisdom doesn’t make you stronger Holding back tears doesn’t make things better All I wanted is to live peacefully together  
Royal blue veins Skin near transparent like window panes, and growing pains Dukes with dukes and dames with dames, an endless rain Staring out at a passing train, imbalanced brain,
I'm sorry I'm such a mess and you gotyourself tangled up in this but pleasedon't fucking leave me because thesky and the stars and the moon don'treally make sense without you  
my thoughts float around me in clouds of periwinkle and gold. ribboned stardust, mesmerizing me amidst the inky darkness of navy blue that blankets my mind   i often gaze up at them
Let me tell you a story
Of her heavy mind that cried 
Every night to the moonlight
As she always questioned why.
Let me tell you a
Breaking I'm ok Breaking I'm fine Breaking I'm good Breaking I need help Breaking
She can no longer eat.   This is day three without food.   What’s the point? People eat to survive, but she doesn't want to survive, anymore.
My dear friend Sickness,  
Wrap me up and put a ribbon on me because I can be whatever you want me to be for a day or an hour or maybe a few minutes
Why don't they just shut up? They don't know a single thing. They have no clue they are my problem. I want to stay away from every single one of them. I don't care if they are "family"
Dear Hunter,   The name of the person who had used the computer before me, Had been Hunter McDonald.   There I was in the computer lab, Sitting in front of my assigned computer,
Every time you ask me how I'm doingI tell you I'm goodThat life is greatThat I'm happyWhat I didn't tell youIs that I haven't slept in three daysThat my mind is exhaustedWhat I didn't tell you 
I am from Fullerton A place where railroad tracks met orange groves Where my childhood met reality I am from the city But not like, tall buildings and smog
You needed me.
I was diagnosed and my brain proposed maybe death would make this all go away. You see my brain ticks to a different beat as the rest. like showing up slightly late to the lesson.
Dear parents,  I'm sorry that I'll never grow up To be the person you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that when you think of me, All you'll remember are the signs You didn't see.   Dear sister,
Stop twitching every time you mumble those around you worrythey wonder what you say under your breath when you make those jokes people get uncomfortable unsure of whether to laugh along
Dear Mental Health,         First I would like to say how much I cherish you. You keep me going through good times and bad. You're there no matter if I'm smiling or sad. All that I want
Mother,  Let me tell you about two children of my own. I've had them for awhile, and I'm surprised you haven't noticed.   I have devils in my pocket. Two little devils. They snag crumbs from my plate,
Crickets chirping, light off suddenly she's in the dark.Heart pounding, mind racing, just her & her thoughts.Good & bad, the wish I could's, was it me? What did I do?
    autism is a spectrum disorder not a curable disease I overthink the simplest things often blowing them out of proportion
She was the canvas, the blade the brush, the blood the paint that gives her a rush. A rush of releif  from the opressive thoughts that control her mind, that takes control of her life.
She stares at the blank page Then at the far wall ”We’re all mad here,” it says Whispering Yelling Beckoning I feel so small A tiny version of myself Balled up inside
The first time you found me, I was a little girl. You told me I could trust you and then you turned around and ruined me.  
The first time I had a panic attack I thought I was dying What else is one to think When you're at the top of a 200ft  roller coaster front row staring down death's door-
it took my whole life to build a brick wall.    i placed it one by one, a brick after another every time I felt uneasy that someone was knocking on my home that i so carefully built that they were going to knock it down
they say home is where the heart is, but ever since you took my heart, i’ve wondered, where is home?   you made me promise this gift was just for you, so why can you take it where you go?
i was 17 the last i spoke with my father. he came home that tuesday night smelling toxic, with the world giving away beneath his feet. bloodshot pinball eyes, carrying 1000 unconfessed sins and
meeting him as a kid, cold and indifferent, but mostly confused and scared, i took him under my wing: isaac.   dull dead eyes, gray skin dotted with red sores,
When I say "I'm just tired" it means so much more. I am tired because every time I lay my head on my pillow in silence, it's never really silent My head screams at me, recalling my worst moments
Because I Love You   Because I love you I let my heart break Because I love you I claim every mistake Because I love you I let you leave,  In fear that you might see what I see.  
Have you forgotten my worth and escaped from my elegance? Its seeming my china has lost all our relevance. Do I not shine like the bulbs illuminating your stove? I’m near, yet lonesome; I’m a deeply secluded cove.
Are you willing to wait for me? I don’t know if it’s right to abuse you like this   This is my fault Retching at pictures at everything you do the moment we kiss
  In my darkest moment,  You were there to cradle me Somehow you became my opponent Preventing me from being free   You and I together Perpetuated my pain The way dark and stormy weather
They built me up, And knocked me down, Over And over And over And over. A cycle of trying to impress,
“Because I love you” he said, the pain would all stop because I love you “Because I love you” he said, the voice would go away because I love you “Because I love you”
I cannot do what most people can Most can leave their house without their heart racing like a thousand horses
I used to obsess about my books being perpendicular on the night stand; that was of course before you found your way into my life.
A heart is as big as you want it to be Say it again? A heart is as big as you let it grow like wool on a sheep. Hearts are fragile and can't prepare theirselves. Mostly, it's the brain doing the work.
I am stronger than I think I amI am my biggest criticI am the worst artistI am the worst singerI am the worst studentI am a horrible friendI am a horrible poetI am my own destruction
Hello, old friend, it’s been awhile. I haven’t missed you, and I’ve been in denial. Been telling myself it’s okay to smile.  
Afraid of being alone, but you always feel alone. So are you always afraid? You create a bubble to bury yourself inside. You can't keep calm during class. You drag yourself down all day. Even while you're encircled, you feel emotional empty.
To you, I gave the world, Yet to I, you saw no such need. Under the worst of circumstances, we met, I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner. To you, I gave you my world,
To you, I gave the world, Yet to I, you saw no such need. Under the worst of circumstances, we met, I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner. To you, I gave you my world,
Because I love you, I'll forever push you to be the better you.  Because I love you, I'll forever be the ear to absorb your worries.  Because I love you, I'll forever hold your hand to combat your worries.
My body is cold. My fingers, frostbitten and blue. The hairs on my arms protrude upwards, bumps litter my sugary skin. I see each breath I take fogging the air and the window in front of me.
I hate that feeling when I open my eyes, I hold my breath in dread,
My mind retraces dark places skin deep hatred of flesh deflated. The escape sedated for freedom pasted a truth that collated heartless faces. I stated the case of pain that wakes and breaks like glass in shattered places.
Sleep, that place where fantasies keep & time repeats merged between the seams of sheets where some nightmares creep at the beat of consciousness in deep. Sleep.
As I step into the car I feel a wave of dissapointment flood over me like a tsunami in Japan I sit and watch the unknown bodies they run up and down courts and fields Fukushima.
Dipping my fingers into your affection, It tastes like sweetened condensed milk - The way you hold me when I'm trapped in the dark, Your company such a welcome confection.  
Because I love you I won't let you down Let you down by leaving you alone Or crying in your bedroom,bathroom stall Because I love you I will care I will try to stay strong, smile Laugh, even be outgoing,
I close my eyes  before I sleep Hoping that my heart will keep, Wishing that it all won't end Praying that my soul defends, Wanting more but showing less Pleeding for one last breath,
having an eating disorder means wanting everyone to know and no one to ask it means accidentally leaving your lunch at home and proudly telling friends no thanks when they offer to share 
The claws of the creature that once tore into the tapestry of my mind are dulled   The unraveling has ceased  but not without leaving behind wide fraying gaps   Weaving together
I'm at war with my mind And the only sense of peace I can find Is if I go back and let my mind rewind Back to when I didn't think much About what I looked like and where I'd sit at lunch
PoemHer chains were all in her headBut somehow just as heavyEvery link a memory
A Man A room Confined to silence Darkness comes and goes Maybe of sleep, maybe of death His body wonders, his mind paces What then does he seek Perhaps a reason, Perhaps a light
Because I love you.Because I want to love you.Because I want to love the idea of you.Once upon a life,I tried to love the manthat every girl should supposedly love.And on his thousandth chance,
Tuck in the shirt and tighten the belt, it'll help you look smaller. Tighten the apron. Eat breakfast because it should be the only big meal you have today. I wonder if they think I'm beautiful?
  I stand alone here in this empty room,    watching people pass by the windows and watching them live.   Each one of them i watch yet only one stands out to me,   
In passing, [Insert Name Here] looks like an ally for those who struggle, like someone who doesn't truly understand, like someone who hasn't gone through the same experiences.  
In unconditional love, I won't make you prove to me, That you will do whatever I need. In unconditional love, I will support you in any way I can, But I may not put your needs over my own.
Stars don’t twinkle as bright as they did when I longed for their warmth Mountain peaks are tangible; Thoughts of you can calm the storm Ocean depths aren’t deep at all in comparison to our talks
Dear victim Dear prey The harmless gazelle to my lion The soul my monster devours
you creep into my mind like fog in the morning light I know you will stay with me today or at least, your memory the memory of you and I
Because I love you He lingers his finger on my face I don't know how to describe this place Because I love you He takes off his disguise I take off the blindfold from my eyes Because I love you
Because I love you, My words flow freely from my lips Spilling my secrets and sharing my hopes With you, love. Because I love you,
Okay so you are drunk again But this time you let your heart stay in bed it's your brain here surprisingly enough so listen up You have potential  A part of Newton's Cradle Right now is just the start
I could be just like you Never happy  Burying myself in the color blue Everywhere I look it's blue Except the sky Which is filled with a thick gray Or I could be me
How I wish to be free From your entanglement But your vines of thick blue yarn Grab at my wrists Clasping at my throat They grow heavier on my shoulders Leaving marks of Blue In places unwanted
"Why?" you ask  when you don't see.    "because," he says  before he makes you believe.    I, the word  to show who my brain hates.    
Everything I felt came rushing back. It was like suicide. My thoughts hung me. My emotions shot me. My fears cut me. My imperfections were an overdose.
Three pills a day for the rest of my life Is what I need for my mind to be normal. There is nothing wrong with that, I know But some days I choke On what feels like the Titanic stuck in my throat
He said he loved her.  Shouting matches, leaving her with a life he helped create, he said he loved her.  He said he loved her too.
To my best friend who likes to call others perfect, but cannot see her own worth.   To my bestfriend who is always willing to listen, but then turns almost everything back to her.  
I remember when I first met you, We had this instant connection, But I should have known that it would turn sour.   I know now that best friends don't keep each other captive.
"Look at me beautiful," you say gently, as you wipe away my tears, or hold my shaking hands. I look up to meet your eyes           flooding with love           flooding with concern
I was broken, battered and beaten.
What if I died tomorrow Would anybody care? Would anybody even know I left this world alone No one was there to guide me To help me through the pain
Once upon a time long ago It is said a girl with skin white as snow Ran far into the woods And stumbled across a cabin, alone in stood.
HIM
Hypnotized by the reality, Still after soo many years, My Misty eyes remained silent. The susurration only had confirmed my doubts. The memories still haunting me all night.
Once upon a time Cinderella was a maid  a dream is a wish your heart makes  Drizella and Anastasia were a bunch of snakes  Cinderella had a happy ending  something else was descending 
Sometimes my brain is not kind to me. It starts with the sounds around me. My teacher is talking. My classmates are whispering. I hear it all and it is so so loud.   Then, I stim. 
"So this is love..."   The thought echoes off the caverns of my mind,as cold and empty as the darkened motel room in whichI am grateful I cannot see  
sometimes, i do wonder if you can hear itat the edge of my words at the edge of my lips            hanging from my hair that hangs in my eyes just hanging             hanging
Last night, I could not sleep,All I could see where the things I was sleeping to forget,I woke up, checked my phone: 6:36 AM. I began to weep, My face is pale, I'm breaking out, my cheeks... so wet. 
I sit in the parking lot of a.drive in diner. There's a fluorescent light attracting moths and other bugs. I see them flying frantically around, trying to reach the light, darting in and off, too quickly to cause much harm.
I extracted myself from my family…...from my friends. I calmly plucked away, little by little, my involvement, my presence…...my existence. To no apparent end my soul grew darker than the pits of hell.
  Ok. So maybe there were never 7 and a pretty girl.   Just one. Just her. And they were all pieces of her mind
POUNDING POUNDING The thoughts want in, - - POUNDING POUNDING They will be my end, - - POUNDING POUNDING They want to control my functions, - - POUNDING POUNDING
One was family. Two was a friend. The third was all the hopes and dreams  that would soon come to an end.   They scurry around running errands and doing chores. They cannot see what has happened
Odessa stumbled in Bruised, bleeding, broken "Honey, what happened?" "Just some tea, please." Hijab around her neck like a noose Ripped silk and torn skin.
I was born with puppet strings in my skin. With hooks in my joints and a painted-on smile. I was born to please and placate, To be Mommy's Little Angel (To look pristine). I was born to vomit bubblegum pink
I am too much, too much. Too quiet they say, too shy (I'm obnoxious when I talk, it's better this way) Too rebellious, they say, too passionate (I'm just trying to find my way, never thought I'd reach 18)
Girl hospitalized in bed Mother wishing that her little girl wasn't death Doctors are saying that she's gone Mother won't believe it and starts singing her a song Mommy is here you don't have to go
Was there ever a place the storm had not been? The storm shrouded everything.  The sea's azure peaks and emerald valleys  Always smothered by an array of greys.   
An exasperated sigh Escaped from her lips As she fidgeted Clammy fingertips. 'Apothecary Den-Owned by Three Bears' The sign in front read And she faked a small smile To hide her internal dread.
Gold-- Everything else has ceased to matter, To exist In his eyes. The damned metal has taken control Of everything in sight: Of our once beautiful home, Of my body, Of his mind.  
The brush stroke is smooth but not silent The colors clear and vibrant Every part of the rainbow is there Every splotch will declare
Once Upon A Time...  Repunzil was trapped in a tower  Locked away for whole summers,  with her unporportional Barbie dolls and hoards of fluffy bunny friends.  Plans to make fake towns out of dirt, 
People say I'm not valid, people say I should choose, they don't understand though I love people not genders.   People say I'm dramatic, people say I'm just scared, they don't understand though
Bags under my eyes. Tired, so I look to the sky. I turn into the sun And fall into the gloomy, grey clouds. Water starts to pour
I hear the piercing tick-tock. I stare at the clock. Thinking of nothing but the time Watching my life slowly pass by. Wishing for life to go faster.
I hated that I had given up on everything. Wasting everyone's time on me. Trying to find something for me. Trying to find me.  
The hair of my arms turned, I know this collision of arms is inevitable, Yet my mind spins like a ferris wheel gone rogue, A correction must be made to my limbs, Wrong, this is wrong; tears pry their way out
A small bottle A brush  Heavy paper   Covered in crevices    And teeth           Pressure       It takes pressure
chapter three: her name is   they told me to smile as i stepped onto the firing line, about to be shot with the reminders of my own vulnerability.
chapter two: mario kart 8   my mother said goodbye to me and walked out ahead of my father. i suppose she couldn't handle seeing how easily i was able to belong and blend
chapter one: my mother on the outside   the first time i saw my mother cry out of sadness, instead of frustration, was when she came to visit me in the hospital
rope lines have been found in our bloodlines, but the ropes have tied themselves into nooses, like tongue-tying a cherry stem until you are tongue tied, trying
bus number 32 takes you to bus number 19 which takes you to your house. bus number 17 doesn't exist, but maybe that's why you know it'll take you home.  
incoming message from: depression   it seems i lose all ability to see clearly when it comes to you.  
i tried to tell the moon goodnight,   but the words were stuck in the back of my mind   unable to escape from behind  
tonight is one of those nights where   i am clawing at the bed sheets hoping to find   the comfort that the mattress store promised.  
Shattered. I lay shattered Reaching towards The wall I built To keep out The realities Of a harsh life  
It
"Shh... forget the outside just focus on me. Come on. Look. Aww, don't you worry..."   Crazy, psycho, unreal little vile parasite.
It’s fragile Breakable Something that shatters Shatters with a touch A word A thought Doubt Self-doubt It eats at it Like a cat Plays with its food Like tiny voices
I feel like my whole life has been montitor  by these people who pick out my mistakes  or just anything to make fun of me. Are these voices in my head or reality?  Will it ever stop?
My love is Beautiful My love is Kind. Mantras that I keep in Mind. I am Amazing I am Great I start to feel the ground it shakes. I want to Love To feel my Soul
Yellow light banishes The shadows on my wall. Beckoning me to rise From the depths of sleep. To greet the morning And my fears.  
i may as well be a dead roseno one dares to water or revive just to throw out with this weeks disasters and garbage my thorns are fighting those who try to stop me but they aren't strong enough to keep me alive. they may protect me but they can ne
Like a little kid When the lights go out My soul is dark and scary This there is no doubt My brain wages a war it cannot face
You told me once that you were fine I told myself you were right, you’d never lie I know now where i went wrong Seeing you today was the reminder you are gone
I watched it before I didn’t speak You let it happen to me I couldn’t speak I couldn’t stand up for myself The taste of being ignored Behind a locked door Was an abuse that became too familiar
These scars are not telling you About some beautiful tragedy. These scars say I’m fucked up. They scream
It's hard to listen fully To people when they say, "You need a little sleep dear; Your eyes won't be as gray". For how are they to know What sleep does to my mind, How I wake up in a cold sweat,
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder, Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".  
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder, Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".  
Nerves Racing. Heart's Beating. Why are they starring?   Is it my smile, my body, my hair? Is it my personailty, Why should they care? I just want to stop the stares...  
A safe place, allowing my mind to stray  
Is America great? Or is saying that a mistake? I see our addiction to doing, I wonder where there is time to reflect. As the spring flowers are blooming, No one stops to smell.
My bed has always played savior
as I sought refuge from my thoughts,
seeking asylum from my sanctioned brain,
I thought secrecy was my only option.
 I thought a safe haven was where I dreamed
covered in dark sheets to hide the blood that I bleed.
Mommy, look at me, look what I can do.Say any word and I'll spell it, I'm smart just like you. I'm sorry I was bad. You hate me? Is that true?I promise I'll be better, Mommy, tell me what to do.
How does the narration convey the idea that Meursault is a simple man to the reader? He’s not  He’s not  He’s not He’s not He doesn’t have access his emotions He’s taking it day by day
it's 11:58 and i can't sleep, glitter is coming out of my eyes and it's cutting them open   my ears are dripping beeswax in some dumb attempt to block it out    im alone, so alone
-2
You Can't see the Noose   Coming 10, Had some friends Had to learn No bad ends   Coming 12, Hello World Oh so broken Little Girl   Fourteen,
1. You will feel so sore the next day that you're entire body will feel like a bruise, and people will notice.
brokenand I refuse to bealive and energizedbecause who I am issuffering everydayby drowning my sorrows in alcohol,but nothing changeseverything can be overin one small instant
America now Sees mental illness As something taboo to talk about Outside of a hospital, As something to suppress so long as I get that ‘A’, As something not legitimate next to a broken leg,
Every morning when I wake, I have to fight a dragon It is a fierce thing, that claws at me and pushes me down Weighing me with thoughts on the coming day and what might go wrong
They love you for who you are, but sometimes words, they leave a scar. A scar so deep, you question who you are. like you've been hit by a car, over and over, and, you're the owner of the car, moving slower, slower.
Having a mental ilness is like walking blindfolded in a forest You can never rest, you feel you can count on no one Because your brain tells you there is no one It says: "You don't have any friend but me"
I write because  if I didn’t you’d find me dead with a pen by my side.  I try to break free from the bones that control me,
he shut the door as he shut his eyes Seconds ago he kissed his brother goodnight Minutes ago he told his parents he loved them Hours ago he stared at his teachers blankly Days ago
Bottles   I’m eight years old when my grandpa hands me a coke bottle, The foreign glass texture and the vintage label excited me,
Shadows are following me home yet, I feel so alone I seek for attentionbut no one sees me I wonder if there are more peoplelike me
till the limbs can't breathe stepping, always continuing time is freely yours the sights before you make it worth the sky is beneath vibrations make waves, joy happiness is for thee
I have reached a point in my life where I wake up most days feeling somewhere between “okay” and so goddamn happy That I feel like a kid climbing a tree who has just reached a branch
People cannot be broken Nevertheless, there will come a time When you meet someone who will make you feel like Hundreds of pieces of pottery Scattered on the ground
The ink of laughter painted across my rib Flat beyond opinion, Line below a beat. representing a break, the breath, a life.   The greens and blues  of circles and spaces of stars and faces
The ink of laughter painted across my rib Flat beyond opinion, Line below a beat. representing a break, the breath, a life.   The greens and blues  of circles and spaces of stars and faces
I arrive at the scene.  A reported disorderly conduct, undeniably located inside of my brain.  'Surprised' is not a word to describe my reaction to find the two suspects. Depression and Anxiety.
Old soul Young bones Turmoil and pure insanity- This time last year I was really feeling the shit hit the fan, man And I mean, really
Porcelain Doll hidden between thorny leaves and puppet string on forgotten dusty shelf coerced beneath the Looking Glass Self –   A torrent comprised of inveigle words - acceptance.
My sad old friend visits so often and years ago she came to stay We grew fond of the dark inspired by tears I'd grow anxious when she was away My dark lovely friend sits in my image
I hear her scream I hear her tiny footsteps in the hallow way  Her shallow breathing quickening my heart She is an empty shell of the person I knew Her soft skin that used to soothe me is abused by her confusion
She is not me; I am not her. Her voice shakes when she speaks, her screams are unheard. I live life on the edge while she stays in bed, and only moving around when she’s trying to get out of her head.  Her mind is her home, her heart is a stone, a
January was cold. Weather has never bothered me, Nor have I worried about freezing, But I could tell, there was ice somewhere, Capable of freezing me to the bone in seconds.
I am in the darkest place I could be I cannot feel as if The world cares for me It may not seem true but "My life is full of joy" Is just a falsehood, and "The darkness is my only friend"
I found the feeling of love in a teenage boy, deep in his caramel eyes. The warmth I felt when I stared kept me warm through those cold October nights
Cleanliness important since birth  Ingrained in his head since he was a kid  Friday morning palms overhead  Leaves are looking a little long Traces of dirt find their way to the ground   
This year has been the same  more or less. I told myself; 2016 was my year, but that never happened. It was the same as every year. I'll tell you why  I have two best friends
You're alone, and it hits you. You are not quite, you. Your friends can feel it. You don't go out. You don't smile. You don't live. You've changed. It's like you're not
War is hell. People die, gasping for breath, Struggling to survive, The things they carried on their backs weigh them down like chains, Drowning them. They drown in regret, They drown in sorrow,
There was a wood by my house you and I used to meet at. We would wait until the warmth of the glowing sun had gone So that you, my first love, Could wrap your strong, loving, embracing arms around my delicate, tiny body
OCD
These thoughts run through my head. Stop, I tell myself. They are just thoughts.  My hands are red and raw from the scorching water mixed with bubbling soap.  They tell me to stop, but how can I?
A latent prick of fearstarted at the root of my head.
Everyday Ι walk over similar roads,   And in every way the same memories replay.  As my feet bring me to the places, my mind brings me to other times.     Back then, and today 
2016 sucked. It started bad, got worse, and ended on an all time low. Not for sympathy or epathy but just so you know, not only has my mental health declined but my motivation has flatlined.
My mind is like a random password generator. They come. They go. Never the same. m8cvp8w7jzo There is a switch in my head. But not two options. Hundreds Too many inside.
The grassy hillside beckons to me I curl up in it’s inviting arms, Only to be awoken by the one’s who pester and pry.
The last time the leaves turned orange I didn’t take notice Because I was too busy being sad And crying myself to sleep at night And wondering why
It all began with a small love that turned into a large one. He knew how to take care of her and her medical issues. He knew how to treat her right. He acted like a total gentleman.
 
4114 May I speak to Amanda Willard please? Click 4114 May I speak to Amanda Willard please? Just a moment.
She's silhouetted against a stark nothing. You can see where the tear rolls down her cheek And the skin clings to her bones as she bends down. She's starving herself. She doesn't realize she's in pain.
  I am the perfect boyfriend The solution To all of life’s problems Her soulmate
Sorry for existing  I want to say  but I know you won't understand  you'll try to fix me with your words "don't say that, you are worth everything"  the only kind of worth I have stings when I try to wear it
I'm done hidding in the shadows. Let the poeple come with their words as daggers, and their glares as swords. Let the people come with their arrogance that buries hopes and dreams
“yeah, I used to get panic attacks myself.” my ease surprises me. I’m relaxed, not like the calm before a storm when havoc is about to wreak. just calm. no storm.  
It’s been a long time coming But we’re finally okay We know we deserved this sooner But we’ll take what we can get   But just as all the pieces seem to fall right into place
today is the day i learn acceptance i learn to tame the ferocious beasts inside me not by beating them into submission, or leaving them in cages until i hope they starve or wither or grow old and die
I had a nightmare last night.I stood in the middle of an empty road,In an empty town,Just waiting.For what I don't know.But there I stood.In the silent,The nothingness,
As I walked down this busted up bowling alley,A guy,Looks to be in his mid-40's decided to approach me.He tapped my shoulder,Looked over to be welcomed with a decent comb over.
I told him i told him to let go but not forget He never had to forget her i told him he must understand she is lighting to him
No I can sleep yes i wake up at 3 am there are nightmares that wake me up at 3 am and haunt me sweats bathes me
Bloodless   If in designation we find substance, We are neither truly rich nor poor.   I know what you see when you look at me. At least I fear as you.
My life is like a Hepburn Rose. Unknown and just as pink as innocence itself. I never understood how life could go from easy to difficult. I couldn’t take the purple bruising pain.
I can only describe her in phrases that don't make sense  in images  in times of night  or metaphors. She isn't real and never will be again.  She's dead. I'm not. Ironic.  She comes in waves
I am a ration cabinet.   Every time you squeeze through my doors, under the loose chain, you take bits and pieces of me. 
Life went well;   graduation, a car, college.   Still, life was incomplete and I yearned.   Materials and tangible satisfied others and they do I,
They have a diagnosis for it all.In a hospital, breathing runs you 300 dollars and it’s not complete without the insurance telling you it’s your problem, not theirs-
I can't handle this pain it clouds my eyes I'm going insane waiting for my demise   I'm seeing double vision picking apart my skin with great precision a game I cannot win  
My body is a metal cage, a stage name— I call it ME. Maybe I should call it THE THING TO BE CONTROLLED. My body is a safety net, the one that I like falling into Most of the time.
Hey, Nick! I mean...Nicole.  That's not going to be your name for much longer but we'll get into that later Remember good ole twenty fifteen?  Twenty-sixteen is like that but with a swirling vortex of terror
Life thought to be good till one week it happened.  Early on, common space violated shared space that has an agreement broken by her because she thought she was better.  Anxiety triggered, a speech that was broken.
if i could tell you one thing i would tell you that i was sorry really sorry, aching chest sorry and i would tell you to love yourself
Heartbreak is the heartbeat moments Smiles fading into frowns When happy turns to sad In remembrance of a memory The longing to return
my consciousness sputters like a dying engine the pulsations of my brain slowing, shaking (muscles too slug-like to function)   beat, rest, beat, rest
x
she has a universe engraved on her wrist and stars in her eyes with her dreams plastered across her figure she is an infinite expanse a world unexplored
My Depression said to say hello, and that she's sorry we've never formally  met, she said she was too disgusted by me to bring me any sooner, that I  was a horrible creature that had hope, and she had to make sure every last 
theres a man in my head he made his own bed he puts fear in my brain and ice in my veins he pulls me from the people i love most and pushes me towards ones i hate most
iam
I am a girl of six Playing with bones and stones and sticks Wondering if words will ever stick Not knowing that in a decade, I’ll be lonely and sick   I am a girl of ten
I dreamed last night that you had died Why had I not tried harder to bring you from that brink?   I dreamed last night you burned in flames engulfing you in every way
My Everyday Battle With Depression
The morning I grew sober was like none other before. One day the snow was heavy, and the next my worries had ceased. I was a new man: outspoken instead of quiet, kind instead of moody.
hot pink stripes falling from the sky. deep brown waves and pale fingers falling from my head. kneeling in a field behind a church with a razor to the back of my neck
I reached out to the sun, but he burned me No matter how I approached, I was scorched. The sun seemed to burn brighter each day for months I wanted to be close, to feel the warmth
And with a stroke of a pen My pain became joy, My tears became smiles, And I became myself.  And with a stroke of a pen
The pain started in his head, bouncing between his ears like a bullet richocheting through a tunnel. Soon enough the pain slithered down his throat and into his lungs, clinging and growing like a fungus.
I don’t remember January. I came into this year terrified, A friend about to commit suicide. Tears, tears Are all January brought.  
I’ve heard, my dear, that you aren’t okay. I’ve heard you crying, I’ve heard you say:   “I give up, I tell you. I surrender my soul.” But I promise you that one day, you will be whole.  
Who am I? No one sees me They glance shallowly, right through my existence. Who am I? Who am I? I exist utterly in solitude My own mind a mystery; I can't comprehend Unseen Unheard
Padded locks lining the door frame, Keeping the monsters outside at bay. Attempting constantly to have monsters tamed,
Anyone who's been on a roller coaster can tell you, there are ups and downs and loops and twists. For the thrill-seekers, it's a rush but for the fearful, the worst part is knowing that
I sat there waiting to be hugged by the sweet arms of death. I sat there awaiting the clock to strike twelve and for my fairytale to end.
 They come so often It is not a surprise anymore For these visitors are Now residents In my eyes I barely notice them
In the palms of some mad love Catharsis and a coma, symptoms of my soma From what foul slum did this sickness spread?   Not everyone's a part of the lucky some Eyes wide open, conscious, willing and brash
It began with the eagerness of hope, the longing, burning, raging need to reach the unattainable—that gift which I never thought I would call my own. There were scars still, written across my arms like a
You didn't know that when you met me,I was sad.You didn't know when you met me that I didn't know how sad I actually was.You didn't know that when you
A year ago, I was scared. I was always nervous, shaking, nothing could've compared to the feelings I've felt every day, hour, minute, emotions that always gave me a limit on what I could do and maintain.
It’s almost impossible to weed out the roots you planted in me The seeds of hope that you’d get better The promises that you weren’t going to leave us  
My life was a whirlwind of suffering, but only within my mind. My day to day hardships don't always happen in real time. My life was dark, dead, and dreary.
According to society, I have never been extraordinary. I do not fit today’s standards of pretty. I am invisible.
Some days are just bad from the start. On these days, it takes all I have to find happiness inside my heart. I turn on my music and roll up my sleeves, This day will not take my happiness away from me.  
I walk 15 minutes to find you when I'm sad.Though it's very rare I find myself feeling this bad.In cold weather, I'll find you, while I'm jacket-clad.If I find you taken by another, I'm rather mad.
Sometimes, she doesn't get out of bed. It seems so difficult. The color of sadness is so deep. But she must rise. Her subjects need attention.  Is it not strange.
The sun’s peeking at me. Tickling my face, somehow sliding under my covers. My pillow’s so soft, My blanket so warm, My dream still beckoning,
Words, shuffling Perfect ballet Ribbons, ribbons, ribbons Choreographed anarchy Compressing thoughts into a tight tight ball Until I can't tell what's what What is what What is what Waves
Why is it that the more recovered I think I am, The happier I seem, The more I smile, The more open I am... Why is it that, inside, things might just be getting worse? It's a trick,
A spoken word poem comes on my podcast in my car. It is the first I've ever heard The words are few and strong They cut me to the core, through the armor of my illness Inspiring the first spark of emotion in months
I’m scared of myself For when school starts See, I’m not depressed But in form time   My mind works overtime  
I need someone to hold me, To wrap their arms around me and  Squeeze the sorrow away   But I know I can't have that sometimes, And that's okay; It has to be    Release me from this anger,
I remember thinking that I deserved it -the pain, I deserved the pain I remember it being difficult to talk -the words, they just wouldn't come out I remember that I despised myself
a chill slips up the cord of my spine as unwanted thoughts roam the lining of my mind hands fidget and legs shake if i can't find control now, i might just break i used to think this wasn't that bad
When I think back on it now The memory appears white along with everything in it The walls The floor The pills Everything except for me But I can't remember what color I was I don't want to know
Do you know how to put feeling back into me into the tips of my fingers the ends of my hair the heels of my feet? Do you know how to put me back together my bones my blood my skin?
The mind of a human… Split in half With creativity and logicIt interests me, so I zoom in,
In the course of an hour, I had stared into the eyes of my enemy. I said nothing. I did nothing, I swear to it. 
Often we find within us that we can't explain what our troubles are Such a bizarre confusion, It makes the complaining of others our envy;
I don't promise insight, so take this vulnerability There's something ugly in mistakes and I am going to let them see on purpose. They're nervous for bad anecdotal jokes and blank notes, rote comfort buy the hour.
What's wrong? Nothing  Everything How are you? Good, thank you. I'm numb, you? What ya doin? Writing
Don't tell me it's all in my head, I say sorry a lot because I'm genuinely afraid that I've insulted you somehow, Don't say I'm overreacting, I get set off by the little things and I worry all the time,
'Calm down.''You're fine.''What's wrong?''Will you please talk?''I want to understand what your anxiety is about.''How's it feel?'
I am not crazy I tell myself over and over, but the more I say it, it becomes harder to believe it The small letters on the bottle read antipsychotic
I am wallpaper, I'm the wallpaper that covers the room filled with people making jokes.
Please stay I've watched as the things that I loved fell away And sometimes I struggle to make it through every day
I am just a traveler in want of a little rest I had been blending through a city of the oppressed Dimming me down to the filthy ground Screaming at me, they surround
I took the pen where words failed me I had no sword to fight, The dragons that had besieged me From day to my very first night I wrote to silence screaming And bid demons stay away
an open book of poetry lies half-read, half-abandoned because as a moth is drawn to a light, the amateur poet is drawn to thoughts of imminent failure   the knowledge of talent unfound, unpolished
Written Expression Stuck. Brick barriers of muddy membrane. Imprisoned. Caged by my thoughts and identity. Black, young, and Christian.
When I fet like I could talk to no one, You were there for me. Through my troubling thoughts and feelings, I could open up to you, Poetry.    My smile always plastered across my face in public
written 08/08/16 Why speak if I will be ignored? My words will fall to the ground Forgotten and left behind  Like dust around us. Why is it that they aren't heard, Or simply overlooked?
written 08/07/16   The secrets we keep Just words between us, We carefully speak Perfectly hushed. But now I have questions And we are never alone, So I speak nothing
I can speak I can stare I can try to comfort Try to imagine  I still have yet to comprahend  A choice that was made A choice I have thought of many times
as you start age daily, you learn the dissimilarities between right and wrong: what is accepted by this temporary home and what is not.
There was once a boy, in the 1700s who survived in his house's basement. Stuck he was, for the sadness exhausted his will to go out side. His mother too, for she was distraught at the idea of bearing a 'mad' son.
You are the black hole of my being— your cold, gnarled fingers squeeze and twist and yank at me from the inside, desperate to come out and shade me with your wretchedness. You are enigmatic; I have never
Alone I feel every second of every day There is no real cause to why I feel this way No person or thing, no action at all I break down inside because I feel I have no one to call
Forgive me,  but I have such a hard time believing that you're being sincere. I feel my fingers rattling— tapping other bones, nervously checking my phone,
When all seems lost And hope has fled What solace can I find But that of ink and paper. The pen is mightier Than the sword But some nights The sword wins.
Poetry found me by my bedside table, heart contained within a dimly lit mind, I could not find the light switch.   Poetry found a foolish girl, one with storybook hands,
As day turns into night,I start to lose my might,And even though I try,That doesn't mean I like to lie. I'll always still fall,And I'll never stand tall.These words may hurt,As if I fell in the dirt.
Part One: It's happened twice. you've been there twice. and refuse to return again. The tastes, the smell, the feeling. it's all so close now. and the pain hunts you. its almost seductive.
Image: Picasso's The Old Guitarist   It isn't crying or sobbing. There are no tissues with slice-of-life movies. It isn't listening to sad music While wishing for happier days.
I live on my drunken abode,How pretty everything seems.I do believe that around is clearer than I really see,For I have done this before.   I lived here so longI no longer beg to differ.
That moment, where words from my mind Flow through my hand and into my pen That moment, when all of the thoughts Become organized, and no longer scream Are you listening?! Can you hear me... Do you even care?
The world is cold. Made up of blocks of ice. You become frozen in place, unable to change. Nothing feels right. There isn't any light. It's cold and dark. No one knows where you are.
The rain falls and it sounds like bullet casings; The rain falls and it sounds like home.  The thunder comes and I am hiding,  Under a table, away from you. From your thunder-clap hands,
On March 19th I went to a party accompanied by my first love; my soul getter I trusted him This man I equated as an angel on earth   So when I drank too much
There is nothing as strong as a tidal wave. It crashes over your head,  douses you in salt, and pushes tears from your eyes whether you want it to or not. I was eleven when I first drowned. 
  10 years old   Drowning in anxiety I envy peers who’ve claimed elementary school royalty An alien in my own world
Throw away the smiles Bring home the fear Forget to calm the child Rage the storm unclear I stand on the shore Alone, as a mess unfolds  Water tickling my toes Searching for more
Blaring static from 59 T.V. sets. Lost in a sensory sea, never to return. Memory, cognition, sight, sound, taste. A knock on the door, words seeping through wood. I cannot hear them, what are the saying?
Failure.Seven letters perfectly construed to describe my very existence. Misunderstood.Four syllables that boom in my ears, deafening the good thoughtsthat are now few and far between.
Do you make wishes at 11:11Do you plan from 11:09 When your hope bubbles over andAll of your troubles and desires File into a line where the biggest dream races practicality for a spot in the frontAnd converts to words soon to be evaporated into a
RIP
I became a poet when I was born I became an artist when I died Putting ink to the paper helped me feel what was inside   As a babe I saw everything around me I'd lose sleep so as not to miss a thing
Her skin: soft as the edge of her sword And her hair: carved from the volcanic ashes. Her heart: away from advancing toward His hardline lips; and her faint eyelashes: Disguising keys to his grave, shallow as--
flowers don't grow among thistles the ones that do don't survive they're choked out by a tale of mice and men   flowers don't grow among thorns they grow with them and become them
Don't hate the girl in the looking-glass what has she done to you?   She's done nothing but try to take care of you.   Don't pick apart her flaws She made them up for you.  
She only reads books that start with the letters K, I, or C. She doesn’t know why But she thinks it’s because they spell kick And she often wants to kick herself in the face. (She drowns herself in a lake)
We are the medicated souls, too much morphine, too much pain, to take away.   We are the medicated souls. No one can stand to hear our screams even when they say to not be silent.  
Do you see me? Do you feel me? Can you feel the pain, the ache inside of me?   'Cause I'm alone fearful to hope. Terrified I'll drown and no one will be home.   So I just wander inside my head,
My brother in arms Battles against the world, himself, And me. His entire family.   My brother in arms, An encyclopedia who seems to know the entire world— And everything throughout—
I do not wish to stare Out of this Plexiglass window that shouts my name, taunts me. Yet it refuses To let me leave this world. My trembling, tired fingers Reach for some source of life--
Voices in the dark Madness, that defiant spark Words, Rhythm, Poetry, Rhyme Escape, Express The Truth is mine. My speech on paper, The world unkind, Speak out with thunder
no matter what you say or do  it will never be  enough not what they're looking for so your feelings,  they're ignored  they're a lie just like you just because you're a liar too
He stares at his ceiling It's half past four It's paranoia he's feeling He looks at his door No one will come Yet, he still tries to run Away from his demons They scare him a ton
Good morning, they say And I'll say it back But I still desire unconsciousness Not because I need the rest Although I do   But I stay on my feet anyway Aware of my struggle to
What is wrong with me? Everything my mind whispers It is 3 am
Gazing at the sad sorrowed remains of what once was a person. Now finding beauty in destruction theres no chance of being saved. Ink starting to flow out like the tears that burned my face
I’m picking puzzle pieces to preach the perfect purpose of why I’m trying to whittle and woo These wondrous words Into an artwork,
age 6 - “what do you want to be?” a velociraptor age 8 - “what do you want to be?” a chiropractor in my youth, i sought to be appropriate but now, mature, a dream hypochondriac
It's growing. Bigger, nastier, uglier. And it's sore as hell. I dived head first into a brown bottle, even had ice but, it still continued to swell. Self medicating, personal antidotes,
You're the sun rising in the morning,The fresh blanket of dew covering a shivering field of grass,The wind flying through the scene as time washes away just the same,  
Your love was a bouquet of roses, deep scarlet, like your proclaimed adoration for me.   The storm, immense with grief, truly impossible to escape.  
Hate never silenced her wordsAnd compliments never brought about changeAll she ever did was binge and purgeBut her mind remained tainted and strange
can’t tell people anything they think i’m crazy i guess i am but all i need is someone to listen and understand without having to plead
Brainwaves whir from corner to corner of my cranium,Causing me to think in a different key.
Some lessons in school Come and go Others however Help you to reap and sow   Poetry is a tool that Has many uses The reason I love it, it helps Cope with life’s abuses  
Day 1  I was afraid to have to repeat it again in the hospital because I'd rather be dead I have been there before, baggy scrubs and socks Stomach in knots, my poisoned liver still rots
Looking through a bleak view. I’m not as weak as they assume. It was a dark time, in a dark room. How can this world be flat when everything has been spinning out of control? I needed someone to be there and not let me unfold.
Removal of passion was the last resort, the last plan of action. hoping to patch up the wound she left when she tore apart your heart and left it there to remain broken. Lost in the world, you swore you'd never trust someone again.
Looking into his eyes, cold, empty full of lies. Who was this man standing before me in this disguise? I've seen that look one too many times. I wish I never was a disappointment. But this man gave up on me a long time ago.
Waking up the clock reads half past noon. Looking outside I feel a pang of gloom. I think of the day we got yelled at for not hearing our parents call us more than just a few times. We didn't know. We were too busy playing in the snow.
Sometimes I forget.And oh the bliss that comes along withthese moments of unforeseen abstraction.The bliss that helps me
Why am I still standing here In this place where I was once happy Even though I close my eyes I still feel you staring down at me Why won't you leave me alone? How am I supposed to move on with this stare?
  most mornings, we rise the sun filling the sky, sanguineness in our minds. though our hopes may be high, anticipations soon shatter our proclamations.
The structure is creaking from the wind drifting by No one is home No one’s alive An overgrown garden entangled with vines Reaching for something it will never find
  I make ruins of what was already shambled; I trample over the brain of a once great village. The heart of the city I, grit my teeth at, push my body down among the people.
I'd felt along the streams of scars upon her arms And whispered, asking her, is she sure they are stretch marks Only then did I realise children are just as brave as adults  
Your light shone but once, sprouted my rose of ardor, the rose soon to wilt.   In plentiful bloom, is our chemical romance, beautiful yet beastly.   Bleeding our love:
Nightfall is honest, For when the dawn comes, the sun awakens, I too.   The truth dies with rising gold, a new lie spun for all's eyes.
Staring up at the midnight sky, hear the quiet passing by. We can't get those thoughts out of our head, so we keep them in until we are dead.   Twinkling stars that are shining so bright,
A life unfinished Ended too soon Was it all the pills you took? All the alcohol you drank? All the blood you let run down? All the words that got in your head?
Today is "normal"Today I'm one of them No one asks what's wrong
Maybe I am going insane. When I want to break down, Cry for the stupidest thing. Cry over the fact that I hate myself, That I will never be good enough for you, Absolutely not for myself.  
When you ask me, "Are you okay?" I want to say no, I want to say that I'm breaking inside, That I'm a shattered piece of this human being I used to be,
My mother is special. That’s what they say When they drag me away From that shiny white room And I ask if I may
What if I forgot to turn off my cars headlights, What if I forgot that I've checked 3 times this night?   What if college is going to bury me in a grave of debt,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes knees and Head is filled with very foreign thoughts Shoulders lifted by the harsh anxiety I’ve somehow forgot
Laughter, Light,  I smile so bright.  I've fooled you again,  One more time. This is the night, I can't take anymore. I have done this, All before, If I scream & cry, No one will hear. So I'm sat here silent, Drowning in fear. I can't do this,
Here’s to the girl The girl that used to smile and laugh A light in the room and flower in the dark Who now lays on the floor of the chapel with tears in her eyes   Here’s to the girl
It's like an earthquake. The world shifts around you, Shaking your heart, shaking your mind, Shaking your control until it crumbles away Leaving you both helpless and defenseless,
  You don't comprehend.  ∴  My thoughts, my dreams
For the record, I am myself.  Even in the dark with no mirrors, no clues, I am myself. I am not the feeling
I love my friends. They're always there for me when I need them,          A fucking lie; they're useless,                   terribly frivolous rats, who never stop to consider-- 
Metallic essence lingers on her tongue She's stranded by memories that cloud her disposition Of a little girl in white, Running from something that doesn't exist Her bare feet strike the cold earth and stale twigs
If I didn't believe in tomorrowI wouldn't have a today,or even a yesterdayto speak of.That's
Changing,The people who once acted and played parts on the stage of my life,The once before lovers,The emotion of the once favored touch frozen in time,With one thought and I'm with them once again,Past friends,
Addicted,I am to the pain,Feelings of loneliness surround me,Never leaving,Humble routine of this,I become even more lost without it,Happiness is a forgotten conclusion to a question I don't know,
Sea
Can depression be so unwarranted?,Like a tsunami unseen unheard,It is deeper than any ocean,Can this be real?,Am I alive,I feel cold,Even though in my mind,I do not believe in him,God,
It promises without condition. I am gathered here today, In happiness, in health, A wedding of a body and soul Living in unity without union, Though for many it is different. Silently working side-by-side
The main character loves me, the smart side-kickThe thought is a balloon that continuously rises
The voice in my head never stopsDay in and day outIt repeats what I’ve done wrongI can’t get through a day without regretting my pastMy head hurts more than my heart ever didMy heart was broken but I found a glue stickBut my mind is a tool that gl
When I was young I hated the summer Sweat, tight clothes, overflowing out of stiff shorts Sucking in, holding my breath Standing up stiff and straight- I couldn't wait to be underwater Where no one could see me
No. No. No. Please no.My pulse beats fasterThe muscles ache in my palmsDon’t do this. Don’t cry.
One pill, every day, taken by mouth At bedtime It is not A quick fix It is not The easy way It is not As effective as a sugar pill It is not Instant gratification  
Loneliness lusts for souls like mine Hopefulness hides in souls like yours I am weathered and withered, weary and worn My soul's the night, but yours is the morn.
I'm done with all of this. The shit I go through daily. The unexplained silence, As bad as the fucking words I hear. The judge mental glance a sharp dagger, That had stabbed me in the back forever.
I wasn't prepared. I guess I was blissfully unaware of everything you never said. "Mommy, I don't want to live", the shot to my chest, and then the awful words  upon that little IPod screen.
Undeniably, the body cannot live without the mind It is like planning to seek a treasure one must find The strength to act in order to survive but without spirit, all actions, contrive  
We've all been through trying times in our lives, and if we haven't yet, then it is almost inevitably coming. ITS JUST HUMAN NATURE TO HURT, INS'T IT? Most of us experience our suffering at the hands of other people.
There are shadows Down the hall In the corner On the walls   Words are shallow I hear voices Some are deep Most are small   They direct me And inform me
There are days in which my forearm remembers stories that I made up, That haunt me and forebode potential illusions. I remember days in which there were many of these days within a day.
I need to breathe but there isn't any air, I need to clear my head but I also like my memories and don't wanna forget I need to sleep but if I close my eyes
She was always a mess Scabs on her face Dried blood under her fingernails Her heart throbbed until It crumbled And pieces of it cluttered the floor Like words in my mind that I wanted to say to her
Time now for ghosts who are grand reminders of the lessons we learned from our thoughtful mistakes.   They can follow us through our homes and out the door and onto the next.  
HugsWhen feeling alonea hug reminds you that you're not When feeling as if your mind is tying you downa hug sets you freeWhen feeling a looming and forbidding darkness hovering above youa hug protects you 
They say there's always a silver lining. Always a new day, That there's always a light waiting at the end of the tunnel. Well my lightHas burnt out. SizzledCrackledAnd flickered out.Like those sad faulty Christmas lights dangling off the tree.But
I think I was about seven when I learned to word gay. We were driving up to my grandparents driveway
Sick of paranoia tired of absurd thoughtsConstant grind hearing things assumptions being distraughtIf its not derogatory voices talking constantly about meRandom thought will make me act quite obsessively
Untamed self control my own worst enemy I can beI can not be the poison and the remedyThe voices I hear are not in my headI hear the words as if they’ve been said.Horrific thoughts I must endure
I was never meant to attain remission; The persistent emptiness was always terminal. You were the IV that pumped saline through my veins, the sheets
Plant kisses with your fists, All over my body. Hit me, kiss me, to me they're the same. Tug at my skin, With your hands and teeth-- I'd still love you-- Choke me, provoke me, to me it's all the same.
if the sand was silk would you still step over it? if the rocks were gems would you pick them up? or would you still step over it?   it become harder to live or more likely so
Before you date somebody with amental illness, you must rememberthat calling them beautiful willnot adjust their brain's chemicallevels.  Sweet words do not reversesickness that plagues the mind
They found his diary under the bed. “Just days too late,” the agent said. Tales of sorrow, woe, and despair “This shouldn’t have happened; it’s really not fair”  
It is something that is invisible and difficult to see yet at the same time you know something is wrong with me the feeling of an invisible knife that pierces through the heart
Oh say can you see  The graves lining up day by day, Of thousands of men and women who decided to lay Their lives down together for the ultimate sacrifice?
I could tell you of my longings, but first you need details. Asperger's Syndrome is within me, a disorder from which I ail. I loathe it not, take my word, though water I do bail.
Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore, We are neck deep in denialshouting from our lungs,We are starving head cases.We are two am phone calls to our mothersaying, Mom, I messed up.
LISTEN, who told you that God could not be a woman?I am almost 6 feet under my own fearsand I have no holy power to turn tothat is a reflection of me.Who shoved their generationally skewed
We are just kids who can't stop the voices of our demons. Too tired from trying to keep ourselves sane, we are out on the edge not caring if we fall, we are heroes 
A rose is a rose A heart is a heart A mind is a mind A soul is a soul A person is a person And no one can change that. That in its self, is a victory.
And he dipped his hand In her dying sea And filled it with a galaxy Straight from his heart Undying, overflowing-ly
Forever my thoughts bend to you Like the leaning of a tree to to the wind   Forever my eyes turn to you Like the search of a flower for sunlight  
Wet, clear streaks Like tears Rain left behind On the windows In the hallways   White streaks On the wall
The pursuit of happiness had a whole new meaning It was an avid chase Marathon malaise Stalemated battle Bloody brain Trying desperately, searching Missing piece of me
In the lonely darknessStands a kind, but hurt orphanShe goes by the name, LaurenHiding her tears with smilesWhile looking up at the night skyNoticing its the only beautiful thing...In her life
Hide the scars draw a heart on your armtake a pictureadd a filterkiss her scars "stay strong, love"  
Yeah, I was sad when Robin Williams died I sat there and watched as my whole family cried But what got me was the outrage that came from his suicide Yet, nobody cared this much when Lelah Alcorn died
(A dual poem by Bailey Bennett)   Creativity never came without costs. I never saw a painter free from pain, or an actor who didn't dabble in
Writing by the light of a door cracked open is the most honest one can get with oneself. Especially when that door leads to the hallway of a psychiatric hospital.
i will gouge his eyes out i will splinter his bones i will spill his insides i will break him like he broke her piece by piece my best friend was molested by her grandfather he deserves it all
Imagine a ten-year old you sitting in front of you. Tell that kid that they are: Worthless, Nothing, Stupid. Tell them that they're fat, That aren't good enough, That they should kill themself,
It feels as if I'm flying and not even trying to be better,No longer am I plagued by depressing thoughts in my head, wishing I were dead but ratherFeeling like I'm on top of the world ready to leap down into the abyss below,
I remember the last night I spent in the hospital Sitting on my windowsill like I was on top of the world, When really the world was on top of me And yet, I couldn’t cry  
With stained eyes and blurry vision I tried and tried with much precision But no matter what I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t take away the emptiness I felt However, I did gain a deeper understanding I can barely articulate,
  I lost myself years ago Tried to find me, looked to and fro But nothing helped, I was frayed The darkness inside me has always stayed   I tried to find myself in the loneliness
Well shit I really hope your life is not the same as it is now That you have some level of control you could never ifind in the bottom of a bottle Or a handful of pills Self harm scars Or hospital bills
Days I have days where I want to give upBut I also have days where that seems so far awayBecause the distance between giving up and staying here is the length of a wide embrace I'm ready to face
Between my fingertips I hold the key to self destructionWith no instruction but to inhaleDeep and fast to make the head rush last and with destruction in handLooking around I suddenly noticed something
Insomnia seems to grace me With his presence each night. Loneliness often deafens me With the words he left unspoken. Anxiety holds me hostage, Invoking memories I want to forget.
someone asks me how we survive day by day, night by night? i want to tell them that we don’t but the words taste like falsehoods on my lips because the truth is, we do survive. but we do not do it alone.
The children are dyingand their mothers are crying.The kid took a bullet through his headright over his bed becausehe dreaded waking upto go to school in the morning.The teachers are scorning the kids
we heave our last goodbye off chapped lips and this is played off as glamorous by our maintream media.
I'm the ugly sweater, I'm just there so you may laugh I'm the ugly sweater, I'm here on your behalf I'm the ugly sweater, I've always been the same I'm still the ugly sweater,
Don't give up, it get's better. Don't let those eyes get any wetter. Don't beat yourself up or tear yourself down. Don't give the world its saddest sound. Don't let your mind lose itself.
You never noticed That you never saw him eat In all the months you've known him. You had no idea Whether she shaved her legs Because you never saw her in anything but sweats -
My vision went black as I walked down my hallwayBut I wasn’t afraid,As I had been the first time it happened,And I had to sit down on the floor,Because I didn’t know why I couldn’t see
Can’t Live Without By Thao-Cathleen Vo   Can’t live without Love, because Without love what is life? Why continue to breathe if No one wants to hold your hand and Reassure you, Show you,
I’m not saying I need a prescription But I’ve made multiply Attempts of self-inflections, and ignoring all of life’s safety restrictions
Dear Mom.   On days like this when I can’t get out of bed to go to school, it’s not because I just don’t want to go to school.
What is depression? It is a vile, insideous darkness that engulfs every aspect of a person. If this darkness was a liquid, I would be drowning in it. I have two stong, beautiful wings to fly away from it all,
When my mother saw my scars she asked me “Should I be worried?” When my first love saw my scars he said “Don’t worry, I have them too.” When my best friend saw my scars she said “Wow, that’s so edgy.”
               "Final thoughts"  With the my hours reaching their lastI prepare to end this life with a blastNot a blast in which refers toA joyous afternoon in the park with my familyMore in reference towardsTaking a 9mm straight to my cranium an
Where am I going? I guess I’ll never know I can hope all I want but the answers never show It's a shot in the dark but I’ve never held a gun before
your smile slowly disappears and your eyes lose their life cuts and scars appear so tempting was that knife you were as bright as the sun
Continue..... Continue to live Continue to process I dont remember how this began When did I go wrong? When did I decide my bed is where I chose to stay safe?
will They find the body? will She care? Finally. I can't get the smell out of my head The lights dance, faltering like they did over the shattered glass
She runs away to hide nobody giving her a second glance  so no one sees her cry why can't they give her another chance Broken girl all alone locked away in her room putting on her headphones
Welcome to the quiz. There will be three items, each a different type of question.   Scores will be determined by honesty and creativity.   Respond to the best of your ability.  
Feet together Head up  Collarbones out Flat tummy Hipbones jutting out Hair long Pin straight Sleeves back Clear wrists Eyes focused Blue sky Fake smile
Soft as moon you walk a rope between life             and death And I never know             where you will fall   Broken ropes bloody blades you try to scrape away the pain
If u hurt me I'm not coming out to play In this lonely house I will stay I will look after myself in this deserted home It is where I am shielded and can safely roam If you look through the windows you will see
I cuddle my secret teddy bear at night Holding him close to my chest so tight In the midst of loneliness he can be my friend Someone to be there, even if it's pretend For I may be young or I may be old
I'm mad.I'm mad that when I talk about important things they roll their eyes.I'm mad that I'm a bitch for having opinions,or boring for being a(stupid)(shallow) (unambitious) girl.
there is a girl I knowlost and wanderingshe’s wandering for herselfshe’s trapped, so trappedin a body that’s dictated,daily molded to bethe girl that everyonewants her to be  
Please answer me back I've checked my phone a million times I want to die Am I not important enough to text back? Do I mean that little to you? I'm not asking for answers!
THE BROKEN________.   Ow It hurts…… The pain lingering in my body The constant tears from when I fell Fell to the ground because it knocked me down.
“Don’t push me to make decisions that I may regret later.” I heard you say this while on the phone with your sisters right before your dad died. I laughed. I fucking laughed out loud. Now what do you think that says about you?
“I love you more than the sky.” You told me that every day as a kid. “You’re fat. You’re attention seeking.” You told me this every night as a kid while you scolded me and grabbed my arm, but I doubt you remember.
Go to your room and turn up your music. You sit alone and you turn up your music until you can’t hear shit. Your stereo will be on full volume, but you can still hear the sound of their teeth shattering on vodka bottles.
7:36- my alarm goes off and my eyelids are cement walls that are being pried open by a mother who’s only reasoning for doing so is ‘because i want to’
Pushes and punches, teases and screamsNo one ever wanted to listen.No one ever wanted to really see. She gripped it- cold and silver. Sharp, stinging to the touch.
Please stop stalking me, stop watching for my every weakness and exploiting it. you are a slimy shadow, a grim stormcloud. hanging over my head,
There’s no glamour in it. No flashing lights lighting up the reflection in the tears of her eyes. Just purple circles from sleepless nights
People always tell you to talk to people When you're feeling sad, Angry, Anxious, Anything of the sort. They'll say tell an adult If you or someone else feels depressed, Suicidal,
Inanimate objects are the strive for empty feelingIn a void of a preconditioned milieu Addiction flourishes in this Skinner Box of incentivized need wherein the commodity breeds the commoditized manA philistine in need is unlettered indeed in the
We have superpowers, like waking up daily, sometimes getting dressed, managing schoolwork despite so much stress. We are the best at being alone, and wearing long clothes,
I'm scared to let people in to let them know that I have a problem to see if they can help depression is a taboo subject especially in a christian home because its not a sickness
A while ago, my heart broke. It didn’t disappear, it just broke. Now that I look back, I realize that it probably could have been fixed. Back then. 
I’m a femme fatalemy father taught me wellLike Mata Hari my charms arefor my victims to dispelLike the mistress Laura Bellthe Queen of London Whoredomone day I may find the Lord but
My chest is caving in, But there's nothing besides the weight of a t-shirt Against my skin, Yet my chest is heavy. And I must have been impaled with a bullet Because there's blood draining from my heart,
When I use words to explain my depression, I use those of others. I claim to be a writer and yet I become so certain that what I have is too little.
"But you're so nice" "but you get good grades" Me being nice doesn't stop me from wanting to kill myself everyday
I want to tell you I will do anything to keep what we have together, That I will try to follow through and give my effort to do better.
  I am every bit as pathetic as the paper in my mouth.   The paper that will very soon become a topic of discussion among my friends;      Wondering why my hands now smell like anxiety,
There was a month where I smelled like cigarettes.     You were the month that I tasted like misplaced jokes,                                        who's punch-line snaked around my jaw;
You told me I made you feel the way I feel when I draw circles under my tongue,                                     but I'm not very good with new concepts.Driving the nails into the coffin of my inhibitions,
Deep inside her heart of glass Lies the tears of her dark past. The girl inside, she hears her cries Her never-ending lullabies   Lost in confusion, pain, and cold. Drowning in sadness, truth untold.
Wonders. That is all we are. Constantly wondering to something new, something wonderful, something different. Something that is not us. We use things to distract us, music, writing, the tapping of a pen, but I cannot distract myself.
I literally cannot even right now It's pretty srs I have mental hellth problems But at least I got my yoga pants It's like I TOTally look so indie rn But my heart stopped beating
  The fluorescents blink almost as fast as you when you're uncomfortable,      And of course we don't know what we did wrong,                                                     but the wax on the floors might.  
  We passed the field by my house, Where you used to say sorry; Words never held meaning for you Without smoke kissing lips.   I never should have. I waited too long didn't I honey?
I asked you, my friend, to meet me at night And hoped against hope that we'd be alright. On that day I stopped watching myself fall; Despite what you think, I remember it all.
I belong to myself and only to myself While it is a great responsibility, I proudly take it on.   I, now twenty-years-old in perfect physical health Need to remember this when darkness envelopes my mental state
You know the nights where your eyelids droop-- but you don't fall asleep, no, (you could only wish), instead you're just numb.
I once was young and filled with hope Because I did not understand, That life is like a length of rope Contemplated between my hands.  
Mistrust and suspicion rule in my brain They run  cross country inside my heart. Loud thumping, mind racing, loosing the control Your breaths quicken and your sight blurs.
Life is... 
   Everyone wants to find the love of their life. We entrust a stranger with our thoughts, souls, and our entire existence. Does the very thought of it frighten you?
Maybe one day, people will see their worth. They won't compare themselves to that person they admire Because they'll have their own dreams they aspire. No more "I'm not good enough,"
If I don't know where I'm from, you ask, how will I know where I'm going? Fair enough. Here's my best answer: I am from a little boy crying because I turned his amoeba of green paint into a t-rex.
Being a hot mess isn’t hot; I know that better than anyone. Sometimes my heart overworks my head and vice versa.
7/23/13 The first time was the deepest The first time was the worst
1. I am haunted by It.
Whiskey-colored rays of light coming from the window dragged me out of bed.
They will say I am broken, They will say I am bent. Though after all they have spoken, Not a word leaves a dent. I am more than my gender,
Soothing salve…   The glistening sea…surrounding me…. Pebbles smashing on the millpond rocks Relieve my anguish, soothe my torture The calm blue sky a parody of my mind…
Facebook Request  Like  Message  Hey  Flirt  Date  Butterflies Flirt  Date Calls  Kisses  Deep conversations
Like a foot is stretching my heart Contorting, stressing, I feel nothing at all. Like they're talking, And I'm talking back, But the words are vegetables Why are carrots coming out,
I have settled in you Like soot in smokers' lungs. We sleep in waves, Shifting, pulling the blankets like teeth. The alarm sounds.   My cigarette's half-ashed On the back porch.
It's 5:56 in the afternoon  I just came home from school
I am so much more than what I think I am I am more than my diagnosis I am more than my medication I am more than my label I am more than the biases and stigmas   I will struggle and have my bad days
imagine there is a landmine in your veins tic tic ticcing away counting down the days until you can look in the mirror and see yourself straight -   imagine
When I was younger, I used
There are very many “zombies” in this world.
I have tripped over luck and stumbled upon tragedy. I find myself stuck in an elevated, praised, honoured institution, full of the most vile and wretched creatures to fill this earth.
As the sun begins its slow descent,
My mind is like a haze.
I’m trapped amongst these padded cells. Grey cushioned walls rising up, besieging me;
It’s time for a change It’s time to put an end to the stigma that surrounds mental illnesses It’s time to stop shaming those with mental health problems
Depression, grabbing you by the throat and chaining you to your bed.
Trying to ignore this stuff inside my head the feelings I feel, The things that I said It's not me, you see I am caught up in a bubble I feel I am not here and sometimes seeing double
"Better to be bright and alone than dull and in dreary company."
Still, breathing, not a soundInert in my bed, lying paralyzed.You shook me, crying "wake up, wake up!"
(note: relating to someone that I know. also I don't know much about poem structure, so sorry it that isn't good) Fear. Anxiety. I fear anxiety.
  I sell myself short  with these small rhyming pomes I could make a da-vinci and hang it in homes   I choose humour simple simplicity
When I saw the scars on her wrist, I didn't see an attention whore, I saw an angel counting her days,
  This is not a suicide note
Her life was an abyss of cold memories  And empty promises,
ME
Nothing is perfect, I know that too well, but I cut it close Life sucks, the future is scary, the past seems like it’s leaving you fast, but not fast enough All you can do is be Awesome And I am  
Let go.   Wash your sins away or your heart's vacancy will find guilt, an ever burdening resident   Let go.   I'll carry your ball and chain.
They are the focus, They have colors of wonder, They reveal a glow, They reflect a meaningful soul, They are your eyes. It tugs at two corners, It comes in many shades, It uncovers radiance,
She breathes, inhales dirty air.
Arise from the ash Reach for constellations bright You will soon emerge
After too many sleepless and empty nights The sun finally is up in the morning It's only 3 am There's no storm today The thunder continues rolling   My tired mind finally closes its eyes
I want to stop trying,
It's vulnerability that makes depression feel so romantic.
I tried to end what life he gave, I treid to end what I thought was sin. Daily I thought "How can I win" Within this horrible life of sin?  What should I do with something so heavy?
The mouth of the metal monster the maw of the morbid mother the giver of gold or gall picking out the particular person plucking out precious people maker of more monopolies
  A fatherless showdown. He is around but he’s not. His ghost still creeps in his body,
   We first met our second year of high school.
Those who said that teenage years would be memorable didnt think for those who cant even be happy anymore.  They didnt think about the new generation . 
My life if full of awe Never would I think to withdrawl.
I hate when people say,“I understand.”When they don’t.Sometimes, when I hear that phrase,I just want to scream:You don’t know me!You don’t know what I’ve been through!You don’t know what I’ve done!
I can’t go back,
Maybe he didn't see the wall.Maybe the darkness forbid sight.Maybe the fog of Depressionsettled over his eyes, blinding,obstructing his perspective.  
I start to wonder, wander through my mind that life
Do you know what it's like To wake up every morning to the same damn ugly face To look in the mirror and wish that your body wasn't so blemished with scars and imperfection
My wrists are clear but my head is not Everyone seems so proud But I still hate myself I have so many If the things I wanted The things that make me happy And yet I'm already empty
If you see me as I see myself, Then I’m so sorry. A constant cry for affection Can make you deaf, you know. If you see me as this world does, Why, that may be even worse. The darkness in their hearts
I'm so nervous and scared, I'm panicking horribly, driving myself mad, my skin feels more sensitive now, hairs risen up, electrified.
II.
If I could make the flow of my hands just a bit more....smooth.If I could make the pictures last long enough in my mind to take the time to draw them perfectly.
I've kept quiet for months thinking I got better, thinking "this is fine now, I'm fine now, life is decent now."  Oh a fool with eyes shut and ears covered knows just as well as I do this is long term.
These thoughts, my thoughts,
Psychotic (adjective); crazy, mental, reckless, Out of control, violent, strange, scary- You throw around the word psychotic as if it won't hurt
Fire. 
I sit in the white porcelain, writing. I allow red to drip, making roses on the snowy surface I feel: Relief. As if every weight I have ever felt has been lifted. Mommy, Daddy, this is not your fault.
 
When the darkness can have a name
As you walk toward the light  At the end of the tunnel  It gets smaller.  And so you are running,  Running like the mad woman you are  Trying to get there before it's gone.  But it's too late.
Five feet tall Sometimes I feel small in more ways than one Anxiety presses against my chest and takes my breath away Insecure and worried Insecure about the way others view me
The hospital is where I was supposed to get better where I was supposed to shed my failure for strength where I was supposed to become free the hospital with all its well lit rooms and halls
I think I'm insane when I hear the whispering of hushed voices behind walls that aren't there when i look down at my skin and pick at every tear   I think I'm inSANE
They tell me to breathe slowly. They tell me to picture my “happy place.” They tell me it’s all in my head. As if I didn't already know that. Do you not understand the definition of a mental disorder?
Pain is all to real to pretend it doesn't exist.
People have very skewed perceptions of what is really means to be depressed. Depression is not just sadness and it is not just the endless stream of tears down your cheeks.  It does not mean that you are a bad person.
It’s kind of superficial for me to be writing a letter to myself when I’m only so young.
Almost as if the floor is lava she twirls and spins and leaps toes brushing briefly against the scarred and forgiving ground. She twirls and spins and leaps faster and faster until… jolting awake
You hear the muffled whispers hiding in this room you're listening and you're listening but still the whispers loom haunting whispers in the night you know that they should give you fright
Lately I am guilty of losing the little things:
FOR MY SANITY'S SAKE
There was nothing left.
Losing Myself  
Fool me one time shame on you…Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you…Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs load the chopper, and let it rain on you precipitating shells of emptiness disturbing the atmosphere surrounding its casing.
depression always was my favorite lover.
The moon is a symbolDespite the darkness, somewhere out there is our source of light
18 and inn
Anna “You can’t have sex wearing a wig” she said That line could’ve made me laugh If she wasn’t clutching the sides of her head Wondering what choice did she have.  
A look into a crystalline solid,My reflection shines brightly and clearly,And with myself leaves me more acquainted,of my intelligence and my beauty.As an amorphous solid in nature,
My heart is pounding. I start to sweat. I know nothing out there can hurt me; But in my head it already has.   How can I face all these people? Am I being too needy? Maybe I should say hi.
On the inside hallucinations are created, a sense of clarity while the others stay sedated. Graphite hits paper, scribbles take form, even the beauty he’s known has to grow horns.
It is drunken stillness, lingering on death Tasting bitter coffee on late-afternnon breath Uneasy to share, to talk about the pain Unsure and afraid, eager to lay blame Alone in a crowd, seperate from truth
Empty inside Hollow and wanting, waiting Waiting to feel something wanting to feel anything I do feel Feeling only pain and anger
No filter is needed to see who this is A girl with such a bliss Someone who they miss But in history, they've shown of me what should be As now I uncover my destiny Now the filters may disappear
A six year old girl ran to the bathroom And stretched Scotch tape from her eyes to her ears To make herself as pretty as girls society consumes To hide her insecurities, and fears
with honor, i wear all my scars
So many visits So many pills Theyre supposed to make me better but only make me more ill A pill for my depression A pill for the rage A new pill added each year As I progress in age
She watches and hears the pain of death; She stares at the flames that has taken the life of her sister; As tears silently flows down no sound is heard; But the screams of pain in a firey death;
Dark and cold,       A tale so old,  Coming home,     Waiting to unfold.    He sits on his bed,      Painting his wrists red, Urging the thoughts,     To just leave his head.   
Misread and verbally beated Unloved and mistreated Alone and unneeded No one knows the way their river flows Always ignored, the pain grows
I feel numb inside…empty & lost. I find myself trying to rekindle my soul, while keeping my eyes open for the lost pieces of myself; they were sold, but at what cost?
A tortured soul is locked with no key, The end of the tunnel looks dark and bleak. Merely sitting without movement or light,
  Look Into My Eyes
When I'm low I dream of gettin high,
I am not delicate but I will wear pink. I am not frightened but I will cover my eyes at a horror movie. I am young but that does not mean I have a blind eye. I am female but that does not make me weak.
You say I’m okay On the outside So I must be alright To keep going But have you once thought About how I feel inside
  The filter It's something that sometimes makes me feel so good inside It's something that enhances the beauty that I can't see inside of  myself So I need this filter 
There once was a girl who would wall
The pendulum begins to swing, Each pass ticking away at my time left.
When I was 3 years old a do
Why even try? Constantly feeling the need to get their approval and for what? Praise? Recognition? Why is it that you go out of your way for them, after everything? An apology?
I was little when disposable cameras were "the thing"Polaroids were fading out. I would pose for my mother in my new school clothes Silly faces, ballerina, peace signs.
I wake up, I look in the mirror and I see this beautiful girl staring back at me. I look at my waist, my belly, my thighs, twice the size of my friends who brag about not eating at lunch
T is what they call me Cheer is life 
Lack of confidence that is your immortal enemy No one doubts yourself more than you Somehow you cannot outrun these thoughts They are just there Ready to kick you when you are down
I as a person am not a conversion.
I am made Entirely of flaws But make No Assumptions     I am still PERFECT   I am the goddess of my own domain With the ability to change the world
ACEs Adverse Childhood Experiences Not one, not two, but experiences
When you’re feeling low… and you feel like you’ve got nowhere to go … that sick feeling is all I feel as my head begins to reel My vision starts to blur
Winter has always been tinged with blues and greys.
Dreams that compose an ever-so-distant me Wrap around in a cloak of contingency  Mirrored walls guard my heart Deflecting and rejecting all chances of happy
She did it... She broke up with me My heart feels like a pit But she holds the key.
A wolf alone in the wood, Not by choice but by cruel fate, A social animal without a pack, A mind consumed by hate.   Will you not take in the wolf? No, of course, no one would,
"Foster child! Foster child" "I wish you never came here" "Not my sister, Not my sister!" "Mom, don't call her dear" Echoes in the hallways, begging for a tear Water in the bathtub, wash away my fear
  She’s paralyzed Traumatized Drifting in space Panting, heart racing makeup smeared on her face. Questions and options Are flooding her mind, Restrictions, obligations,
There are demons pressing in on me. There are demons pressing out on me. It's as if when my eyes hit the mirror they hit the bullseye for my body to grow. the  bullseye is really a trigger.
Mankind has become a world of manmade waterfalls.   Inherently beautiful, mejestic by nature, a sovereign force. Manmade, however, mankind is molded into another's vision,
Death is a part of us all More than others But all death is for reason Which we don't know Until we die Ourselves   Depression is real And it hurts
Pay no attention to these tears See only the plastered smile I must ignore my fears.   This done-up makeup will soon smear These nails were once in perfect file. Pay no attention to these tears.
He asks "what's that on your arm?" I say nothing. He leans in to touch it. My body twists away, so he asks again. "What's that on your arm?" "Just a scar."
Pressure is applied to a mental wound,Bleeding out imagination, determination,The memories are painting the floors in blood-Discrepancy of a tortured soul; spilled ink, spilled thoughts,
The thought of you hurting Alone in your bed
I can't control my brain The pain makes me feel insane And I don't need you opions, on my feelings You can't imagine what it feels like To wonder why you're broken You can't imagine what it feels like
Ignore the girl hiding behind the maskshe whispers to me at night"what have you done?""you're so stupid""why would anyone want to care about you?"her whispers raise in volume and venom
I’m not supposed to call it mine My anxiety and depression isn’t supposed to be mine, I’m supposed to distance myself because somehow that helps.  Somehow saying it isn’t mine makes it okay
A butterfly once landed on me And told me I was beautiful; For some reason I believed her. She kissed my cheeks And told me I was allowed to dream; For some reason I believed her.
There are infinite universes,
~a heart once so pure Heavy with burdens ~Smiles turn to gold Shy to break, soft to hold ~molded in flawless to be just flaws ~A heavy broken smile is all I am
look into my eyes  you will see blue  look into my heart 
Twinkle, twinkle, little star, you look so perfect where you are, sparkling warmth way up there, I just can't help but to stop and stare. Others around me also pause, to gaze upon you in their awe.  
'Flawless' is of flawed design, I am not perfect, nor are you, But knowing that my flaws are mine, And that they've made me strong with time, I praise myself where praise is due.  
Have you ever woke up and felt like you were dreaming? Like you couldn't get up? You were stuck?
Inside, around, behind what's in my mind? Flashbacks tons of flashbacks. I wiggle, I scream hes too mean. I can't get away but you think I did it to  myself.  
No one is looking for me.   I haven't disappeared, but why can't they see me?   That's alright, I'm not hoping to be found,   I already found myself
Disappear in a whisper: Hello? Are you there? Yes but are you? Do I know you? Do I know you? No I don’t. You’re right we don’t know. We? You never knew did you?
Mental stabiliy is invisible to the eye of one's emotions when they run so dry. Don't cry for the hurt, the lost, or the mislead.
There are voices telling you thatLaying in bed and crying all day is normal.You're just an "average teenager."It's just hormones.
There is a moster that lives in my head I keep him locked away in a cage Or, at least, I try Sometimes the bars are not strong enough The monster breaks free and crawls into my thoughts
you are like the ocean I stand on the beach and your tide rushes up to me  your foam softly brushes my toes it feels nice to be with you so I wade in further your slow rolling waves rise against my legs
Dead, rotten flesh falls from my face Mouth agape, jaw hanging my a thread of skin Eyes yellowed, and maggots crawl out from every orifice in my body   I hear some then I hear none
Living with depression is not an easy thing to do Living with anxiety is not an easy thing to do Living with both has become so painfully unbearable
i never suspected that i would spend so much time trying to pick things out from under my skin.
Vast are the expectations of a grueling crowd of thieves.Stealing all the souls from the lonely hearts they feed.A chemical inbalance, they say,the reason for this feat,But nothing will explain the endless tears
I sit here in solitude, torn apart.
Behind my smiles My good deeds My leadership My love for others Behind the eyes of those who look highest of me Who seek my guidence Behind all that i am I am paranoid
I want answers you tell lies Going against my religion, but not my heart Which is worse? God, why do I anger you I like girls I'm really sorry It wasn't on purpose
It's not what they call you, but what you answer to. Never let someone else's words define you. No one is "normal" No one is "perfect" But as long you love yourself you'll always be worth it.
I am sweet and innocent and a little too sad I've got lots of problems because of my drug addict dad
Anxiety like sugar in my veins forces my weak knees to rattle. Bumping the desk in front of me as I slowly undetectably lose focus. Undeniable to the students near to me, but unnoticed
Chorus:   I'm stressed out A lot of stuff on my mind, I don't know what to do I'm stressed out I just want to be alone, so I'm sitting in my room I'm stressed out
  Her mind was not broken when she was born. She was once a rose But, have you ever seen such aversion to a flower?   What’s in a name? They call her crazy, a freak, a nutcase, insane
30 minutes till midnight
Dear high school bullies, I wonder if you know what you did to me.  I wonder if you still believe the things you said. 
There you are sitting.. Dazed and distracted... Are you alive? Can you hear me? You've made mistakes... You didn't catch a big break...... But don't stop trying.   Don't escape.
At the current stage of my life Full of teen angst and hormones I am tired already.
Smile.  Smile because you're loved, you're fortunate, you've got no reason to be sad.  Smile because everyone around you passes by without a second glance, a second thought, a second word. 
Once there was a man who left and his little girl was sad she cut her wrists and bleed for him as she wished to call him, dad there was an incident that spurred the path the family was split
cut
this self mutilation is getting out of hand every night i break down i know i cant stand to stay here much longer, im am beaten and damned to rot away slowly with nothing in hand  
To the mother, to the child, to the lover, to the fool,  
Oh my how dark it is My world My day My night All so dark Where is my light?
It’s so hard for me to see it. I stare at it, talk it through, and analyze it, But I’ll never feel it like you do. And I’m sorry for that.   I’ll never understand your self-loathing
If I had to write about being bipolar, I would write about the ups and downs. How some days you feel like you are soaring and others you feel like you are fifty feet underground.
Make it stop! Make it stop! Please Someone stop me
My head space is dizzy I feel lethargy   I don't know how to laugh What is it I see?   I'm trying to remember Thats there's somewhere to be   I can't feel my self
Feel what you see The pain is not mine It isn't yours Who does it belong to If not you or me?   It's better than pity That lacks kindness and charity
The things that define us can often make us worse,   but they can also make us better we can grow,    like seeds after a forest fire
I want to see the stars see past the fog place my head above the clouds,   bathe in the light I want to forget the dark wrap myself in rich shades of blue,  
Well I've been sitting around lately
You saw me in my time of need, saw that I was a mess. And soon the doctor said indeed, that yes, I am depressed.   Simply put, you weren't surprised. After all, you knew.
I don't understand.  somedays, smiling is easy.  and other days it's the hardest thing to do.  somedays, I can eat anything I want.  and other days I can't even look at food. 
You say you know me But you judge by the facade The fake smile and nice disposition The innocence and false confidence
i feel weak
*/ /*-->*/ I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm breaking Like glass, shattering on the floor.
After six months (Sometimes Two or three, A day or a week, Or even a year) I wake up and I don’t think about you.   (Proving to myself
There is a man quite dear to me who I’ve known for many years. He knows all of my feelings, and understands my fears.   He lets me know what’s rational, what’s within my expectations.
you can lose yourself in nothingness if you want to   the number of times i've done it myself are countless   in the nothingness you are numb and feel nothing
there are some who will say
Colors were bright Spice was spicy Sweet was sweet Friends were fun Life was life And I was myself But now it's different I'm not sure what happened My body is tired and I sleep too much
There is no darkness There are no lights There is no blackness, only white.   There is no future without a past And all my wounds, will never last.
Look up kid, the stars are still in place, the moon hasn’t left, there’s no pressure there. So stay, watch the sky. Just, stay. Don’t hide, the leaves are changing and the field is dead,
You think that you know, you think that you see
That voice
1 cut 2 cut 3 cut 4… I drop my metal savior to the floor… My body turns cold and now I cry… Because I know I made a mistake and now I’m dying… My hands turn blue and my face is numb..
Grey face and blistered skin,  Looks like she is at it again. Cold breath and shaky bones, She cuts when she is home alone. Knocks at the door, but she can't hear,
Sanity
Feeling things were never easy for me-
I was on my computer talking to some chick I barely knew. I can't remember the conversation, but it was a nice chat. She was surprisingly friendly.
I strive for any sense of sanity my body has left
What is the city girl to do when her city is burning once m
On the outside you
Sitting alone
Causing my brain to diminish or maybe my mind really is going or is my mental health truly my own worst enemy. 
Dear every person who says that a mental illness is nota valid reason for not being able to attend school normally,
3 Girls that share a room31 Girls within the programThey all have different problemsThe 3 Girls they share 1...CUTTING.They go to each other for help.But when it comes down to it.
When I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore-That I was done with it (and her)-She cried.She begged.She asked why.And I tried to explain…But my founded reasoning fell onto deaf,
I unfold the paperThat holds the contentsOf just what I need.The blade is cold, smooth and sharp.Back and forth.
They don’t teach you not to be small.I’ve been in a million classrooms that teach us not to get too big and make sure we exercise enough.Never have I heard, “Don’t get too small.”
Rub against my skin, no more Scars that don't form From mistakes I made in the bathroom all alone Wanting to be invisible Needing to be seen. Caught with a red line across my wrist and thigh,
Roses are redViolets are blueSugar is sweetYou are tooSmiling green eyesHeld thoughts friends couldn't seeLong sleeve shirtsHeld wounds you did not need
As my hope wears so thin, More lines appear on my skin, I draw them with silver, But then they turn red, Magic maybe? No it's just in my head, There's a monster in me, Trying to get out,
Who do i actually do my poems for?  Is it for me, my parents, or the girl next door? You know the one that tries to hide the cuts on her arms. She is physically as well as mentally scarred.
She sits in the corner in the dark She cries when she tries to hide She sits in solitude without a spark
he was not insane.
The funny thing about day time, Is that when the light is brightness, The shadows are darkest, The funny thing about depression, Is its absolute starkness, The extreme in difference between happy and sad,
Little did I know that I committed a sin against my own race for my dialect and skin The way I was, was apparently all wrong and I shake my head when my father finally clarified my mistake
Confused, staring into space looking for something,  something to stop the pain   Suddenly, there it is, in my hand. Fingers twirl a shiny new blade   Slowly, 
The castle walls surround me, a magnificent beauty all around, but not a soul is to be found. I am alone in this wonderful beauty. I try to end this maddening isolation,
I seem to have fallen down again,
You saved 'em from the knife, from the pills, from the booze From slaughtering a beauty and all they had to lose All it took to rescue was a few innocent words A reassuring smile was the most clearly heard
Don't Don't push Don't push me I'm falling I don't need you to catch me I don't want to depend on you I'm  I'm tired I'm tired of pain So I'm tired of you But But I
Unicorn and Dragon, Water to heal, Soul refreshed.   Girly, Childish, But so beautiful.   This Lurked within me This Let me heal.  
someone could have loved her someone did love her but i never loved her i broke her,
When you walk in, You hide your fear, You fist your hands
Anastasia LeBlanc     Fuck Everything? Fuck this.
At any given moment you could ask me what's on my mind      and I could give you a categorized list with bullet points to spare           left blank for the few memories that are climbing out of bed
I grew up in America.  I grew up in England.  I grew up in a Massachusettes hospital.    I fell in love with  Romance At a young age.  Didn't see it much  Growing up,
As she sits there amongst the crowd of people standing tall,faint whispers escape struggling to be heard amidst the booming voices overheadEver the attempts fail until one breaks throughand is met with unwelcomed reply;
when i tell you my heart is breaking and my wrists are shattering under the fists of a mental illness. just. listen.
coarse blue fabric against my fingertips am i real? long fingernails claw into fragile skin (right underneath black ink flowers and symbols of Christ)
“i pressed my face to the space between your neck and kissed you softly with chapped lips. (you were laughing and texting and trying to take my mind out of the dark) i dragged my fingernails lightly across your tattooed arm.
You wear vans In the dead of winter Through sleet and snow Those canvas kicks Damp and ragged From years of treacherous walks In damp grass And the rainy wood Across from your house
It is both a curse and a blessing to feel things so deeply. To take on the gravity of a burden or the flight of a fancy.   Both within herself and from those she cares for, as they live around her.
Today, Depression is synonymous with crazy. My mother treats me like A live bomb, Ready to explode at any minute. She tells me that I need the meds again Because I’ve been “too irritable lately”.
"Do close your eyes and awaken from the pain Re-read the tears separated from rain Mi, only mi, will tell you when your sane," Father has told me, once and again.
She thought she was pretty until society told her she was worthless. She didn’t fit the description of beauty, All because she was different.
Her braid falls softly to one side Silently she listens, She’s always been good at that.   Arms crossed, Trying to thing, About a better tomorrow; A better today.
Congratulations, You did exactly word for word what you were told. Never went against the grain, never did anything you weren’t told to do. How does it make you feel?   Pretty good right,
One mistake,will you ever let me forget it...I understand what I did was wrongI understand I disappointed you.But hey lets think of it this way,what else is new?
How do I be myself? You tell me how… You tell me what to do every day…   School.   Then work.   How can I be me? When I’m always going what I’m told to do. And only that.
Retard   A word of six letters So casually said. Not often thought of, But easily read.    Yes, I know it means 'slow', And I know you don't care. 
I'm used to being pushed off the road
Paint my smile Rouge my cheeks Take the darkness from my face   Soothe my thoughts Heal my fractures Take the darkness from my mind   Life my spirits Cheer my heart
  Afraid of a white suit and plastic hands We succumb to the thoughts of midnight Internal, we burn deep and scarred We cover them up by the amber morning Not understanding the source of these words
Ever get that feeling?
Rosy were of her lavish cheeks, What a shadow the flourescent moonlight leaves Complimented by the icy crystals traveling down in trails towards her heart It's a wonder how such chaotic strife can be such beautiful art
Am I going insane? feels like i'm in another dimension. Stop, get out of your head, you have to pay attention. Surrounded by your classmates, but feel alone all day. Dismissal bell means nothing, 
Behind this smile I’m smiling, but inside I’m dying
Weep not for me BUt be glad I am free From a life sad   When dawn comes And I cease to be Remember my warmth When you remember me   Oh Fate-Oh Fate
I hold within my brain incredible power, The power to hurt, the power to learn,
I spend my life
The bleakness you are forced to face,
Just be happy!I can't.Just don't worry! I can't.
I can see the sun
If I could kiss every malady from the cells on your heart And the neurons in your brains Then my mouth would turn red and bloody raw Because I would not stop until all were healed.  
FA-Q
How are you doing? I'm fine, thanks for asking. Pretty well, thanks. Okay. Alright. You know. All too ready for the weekend, you know? All too ready for the end of the day, you know?
a little girl just barely three, sits reading beneath a tree, the other kids scamper and run around, that poor little girl dares not make a sound, she turn the page and blocks it all out, Hamlet,
i’ve always said i’ll never bear a son or daughter, or any being in between, or nothing of the combination; but i wonder if that’s the key to replenish the life in me, to grow my flower;
It is a circle Big and wide as the sun. But for me, Its a strand A strand I'm loosing my grip on.   Slowly I slip I can't regain my grip I fall, And suddely,
Suicide is not an option, Yet some people see it as their only choice. How can anyone believe the world is better off without them? The pain does not go away; It just passes on to your loved ones,
I wish I could cry properly. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror Staring deep into myself Picturing the most impossibly  Dead image Trying to push the tears out Feeling absolutely no moisture
What is there to do When I'm crushed Suffocated Torn apart by loneliness People passing all around Yet here I stand All alone in this ocean A sea of society
Happy thoughts don't exist. Nobody tries to understand. There's always an unkown twist, I'm on my last strand. I'm drifting away, hearing the voices. As the people try & pray,
At some point in my life,
Ticking, he was a ticking time bomb. Irrational, maybe, but he couldn’t help it. Controlled by emotions he misunderstood within him. Kicking the broken pieces of himself.
My insecurities has taken Over all things me I can feel the change in my mind the hurt in my heart I no longer believe the words that are said I'm dead In the inside with no hopes of coming back you have broke me down to my last there is nothing
I crave you in my deepest depressions. I fear you in brightest highs. In my midst of finding who I am and who I want to be, I get the sense of something going wrong. You call my name before I can even try to fix the broken pieces.
Picture this:There are two mason jars on the counternext to the cash register of your localconvenience store. One says: “Johnnyhas been diagnosed with stage 1 cancer”,and the other says, “Please, help!
She believes. She believes in an unspoken rule. She trusts it, loves it. She lives by it. She is shamed when she tries to think for herself, even if it is to believe. 
That night I had caught your eye a few times,  but I was choking on my insecurity, words wrapping tightly around my throat. So instead you watched me with an intense gaze
The moment you crawled from the warmth of your mother’s wombis the moment that everything changed, though you didn’t realize it.
In fifth gradeI ate rotten meatbecause a ten year oldcannot hate themselves. In sixth grademy dad left for the sixthand the final timeand I started blacking outfrom trying to hunt him down
Lost, Alone, Silenced for too long
Bombs all around me Shrapnel hits my skin I can feel my life fading I’m about to give in   Then my Corpsman came
What is a flower to bewithout its scent,              its petals,                              its obvious beauty? A weed.
I hear a faint dissonance travel You again, in homely tears  I am the wet nurse at your disposal;  So, let me be drained by the frenzy of desperation . . . .   Crusade along the barren land,
The glass spreads in my sight, shimmering. It’s so smooth and still I can see my face. And so I sit on the banks of the stagnant world below me and close my eyes. I listen to the
I don't remember how it started, but if I did I would imagine it to be like a fog twisting and pulsating within the confinements of my brain   A speck Of dust smudged between "I'm tired" and
One of the brightest students they call me though they do not see the darkness clouding my mind   Want to make everyone happy they say about me though they do not see
Shit you can’t say to your teacher: “I’m tired,” For she will think you didn’t sleep enough last night. “I’m really distracted,” For she will think you have no interest in learning.
Man, the American dream sure did have us
Hey, teach, I wanted you to know something I wanted to tell you all about the kind of shit I’ve been through over the years How I’ve seen the inside of the psychiatric ward and made friends with the other kids there
life happens once we all die in the end really often I wonder if my choices can bend   lo, reader, read close and let me explain I see life as if it's fanned out on a plane
I will not I will not These words repeat in my head Over and over and over I will not cry Not in front of you I must be strong Because if I’m not strong then who will be
Words on paper Words on paper Paper that cuts Paper that wrinkles Teacher cant teach Teacher cant teach Why am I here...  
Racing mind and nonstop motion Shaking legs and bitten nails Painful head and shortened breaths
You just need to last until the break  cramming for your GPA's sake  You twitch and you cringe and you tweak and crack and you break and you freak You learn for the moment, not for retention
the flourescent lightson her iridescent skinreveal the railroad tracksof her train with no brakes"all aboard," the ageless conductor criesshe climbs in.
Save me from the dark And help me see the light Save me from what's wrong And help me put things right Save me from my demons And help me find the fight Save me from the pain I feel
Books scattered around the floor
Everything, everything, everything,
They tell me that I'm crazy But I don't think I am People whisper about me when I walk by Sometimes they even stop to stare It doesn't bother me much anymore Not like it used to  
Peaks of good and bad Patterned patches of plaid Life clenches us in its hands We must pay for what life demands For if we do not LIfe will leave us out to rot It can loosen its hold
like peter pan i flew away so i would never have to age a day  
  I see a girl Thin lips, smiling Though her eyes are sinking falling, lifeless I can tell she goes to bed far after the stars fall asleep and lies there, frightened
Some call it crazy, Some say it’s sick, but I think it’s freedom, the pain is fierce, but quick.   Some say that it’s a sin, just a little to risqué. But it helps to release the pain
Life is a prison Won’t someone let me out? There’s no one around To hear when I shout.   Climb the walls of insanity Jump into the pit of despair. If I fall it won’t matter
My toes touch the edge, I look down. I see the darkness beneath the ground.   I look up, searching for light. All I see is darkness deep in the night.  
In a life full of sorrow and strife, The only thing I want to do is hold the knife. The knife that cuts, the knife that scars, The knife that stops most of the wars.   The wars inside, the fights on the out.
The slits on her wrist, The burns on her calf. Not eating for weeks, Hating herself.   These are not things to glorify, They should not able to. Be seen clearly,
I tore the words "Once Upon a Time" Traced the letters "O" "U" "T" Folded it up all nice and neatly, Kept it in my breast pocket for my heart to see, Then the words caught fire, They fell away to ash,
To hear, if only I could hear. To hear those words so soft and fruitful. To hears suchwords when I am youthful. Time goes by and so does this rhyme, but riddle me this,
The ones who can help but do not,say they understand andthey say it will passor it was our own faultthey understand nothing. Those who cannot help but try,know how we writhe the emotions and physical sensationswe cannot articulate, though we trywe
Through paper thin walls, I watch as you slowly fall, With your kness down to the ground, And with eyes downcast, I can hear every sound. As the clock ticks away the time,
I am just a little girl, A tiny little thing. I've got a scary monster, Hidden within. The monsters came out, From under my bed, And those monsters crawled out And into my head.
I'm killing myself, I know. Each time the knife hits my skin. The teachers don't care, The students just stare.  The nurse just told me to pray. They send me away,  To not deal with my shit, 
  We live for today, die for tomorrow Our soul sits in a puddle of sorrow Wait till dawn to repent The world has turn its back because of our sins Never bite the hand that feeds
"Take your fish oils."Despite them and the yellow particles I breathed in,I lived in sin.Guilt smugly unwound its coils;It had become an expert in multitasking.
Open to the world Just a second As my stomach is twirled I look down and see how hectic
You don't know me. Not like you should. Not like a mother should. But how could you when I've shut you out? Having been broken too many times. How could you know my heart When I've hidden it so well?
Her lips get blacker and blacker,  And the more they do, the more she masks them with red lipstick    She claims she's got no worries...no regrets, but she suppresses each grudge as she inhales another cigarette,
We are His child.He knows our name.We ask, "Why?"He replies, " Hush my child."We don't understand.He holds us in His arms.We've failed.He loves.
Everything is overseenWind blows through the treesI see the gleam from the rain drops on the leavesThe grass a shade of greenSo peaceful So siren Grey clouds stream In the sky
i just need to vent .  this life is suppose to be well worth spent .  but as of now it makes no sense .  arguing and fighting and throwing a fit. but really is it worth it ? 
My brain is on fire, I have no desire, To live a life in this world. Looking back to see what I've done, I take a glance, my accomplishments are none. Looking at people who look past me,
While holding her belly she tries to hide From the horrid stares as she walks by Traumatized eyes glare as she wishes the day would end For she’s too humiliated to face those she called “friends”
You promised we would be together forever I guess forever isn't such a long time White lies and night cries You take but never give I give but never live You say you love me But you left me..... 
In that moment I lost it allI lost all hope, all beauty to the eyeI even lost curiosity on the last personthat stretched my mindEverything began to resemble a rockworthless, pointless, just taking up space
The tides of life take me high and low,One moment I can dip deep into the abyss or into the heights of the sky.
I'm lost, Lost in a realm where though time is a deciding factor It remains unrecognized for the world know. Is one unshown in its happily ever As the pedals fall from its own start
  I have a dream, Similar to Martin Luther King, I want us all to succeed. The words, "We have finally made it" to be uttered through our hearts, Shared by Our differences,
I can’t tell him “No, I don’t understand” Because he’s sighing at me Looking over glasses at me As I break down in his office I can’t tell him “Please, explain it to me”
If her body temp's over one hundred degrees, she can stay home from class, get out of jail free. Got her wisdom teeth out? She'll pop some pills, she has an excuse, and no one doubts she's ill 
  Your eyes are not like oceansNor is your laugh like the tinkling of bells You are made of flesh and bloodNot some backwards metaphor
Teachers don’t seem to understand anxiety, They put us in front of a room of staring eyes waiting undeniably, We are supposed to speak eloquent words full of meaning and substance,
    You start out thinking this year will be the one, I will actually make an effort, not leave and be done.    Two weeks in and your thoughts have changed,
But when you felt ready to shake apart, when the cold hands of fear gripped your heart. Did you not then beg for aid? Because you could never walk the path already laid. And grass cut your voice thin,
I want to tell you How much I care About your broken green bottle   How much I care about the sea And dandelions And cracks in the sidewalk   Like you do  
Last week in my English class, a debate began, one in which I did not want to be present.
As I walk into school, I feel everyone’s eyes on me They burn holes through my skin, And their glances pierce my stomach
Darkness lies inside my mindCoiling around my soulScarce are those who are kindCausing me to not find my roll
I sit here letting out silent pleas With the blood that I bleed. I cut myself, once again, Hoping that it will cause my heart to bend Bend yet not break But in the end, I can barely keep myself awake.
It was September of '08 when I went into depressionNo other emotions other than sadness and agressionI lost two people in my lives that monthMy nana from cancerAnd my step-father who was cheating on my mom for months
You came back changed, I don't know you anymore. You don't even know yourself anymore, where did you go? You left yourself across seas and he's scared, it's just the wounds of war.
Sadness is strong a feeling Sadness is a weary feeling, It comes and feels like it won’t go away. Sadness is a heavy feeling.
You're not really sick! You just want attention! You just want to be treated differently! That's what they cry Their words becoming sticks and stones That break my soul, mind, and bones
Can’t stand this feeling anymore So much built up inside just eating away Burning all the way to the core Feel like my whole life is starting to fade
You ask why, but I cant give the real answer The story cant be heard No its not correct to say the things that happened Get personal,  NEVER! Its inappropriate..   But what if my story defines me
The room goes blank.
Life can flow, Life can stop, But don't you dare waste one drop, For Life is Precious, And Life is Blessed, If you just end it you're guaranteed to be missed, Life is like water,
The tears creep down my faceAs I watch him saunter awayAt an unsteady pace.I never wanted it to be this way. I look at my phone,Look at his ring.The tender loving boy I had known The song we once sang, he ceased to sing. The heart throbbing words
It's 3 in the morning My parents are sleeping My sister is dreaming The dogs are howling   It's 3 in the morning And the wind keeps blowing The earth keeps spinning The people are living
Agoraphobia Fear of large crowds I'm pressed up against them, and I can't Anxiety Unpleasant state of inner turmoil I can't help but think of what's to come Depression A state of low mood
I believed in once upon a timeuntil I put down the bookI believed in a happy familyuntil my family broke apartI believed in myselfuntil I was torn downPeople told me
  When it comes to Annie, She’s that friend, That no one wants.   She’s that friend, That I don’t want, She’s always there, To constantly taunt.   And here it is,
  Why can't you hear me ? Am I not loud enough Don't you hear my thoughts Striking the sides of my mind with such brutal force Telling me that a slippery slope is the quickest way down
There are secrets—Well, there are always secrets. But there are secrets that lie in wait for me. They lie just below the surface.
I have a bad habit of developingbad habits.
I will not begin with, “Once Upon a Time,” To paint this as a fairytale, Would be a sin, a crime, Nay, this is a story, Tried and true, New and old, Borrowed and blue,
I hold the silver over flesh and feel the sting of thorns.It seems like there was no damage.Ah, there it is.
Waves ebb and flow. My mind is a beach, Emotions come and go. Some are as salty as the sea, Others reveal the bright white sand underneath.   Right now, it is winter in my head,
I place the weight of my body onto a jagged rock on top of a mountain. With my head turned to the left, the breeze brushes my cheeks.
  Just one step and…gone Maybe in an instant Maybe after a few minutes Gone Maybe it will be like the movies
She Looks for Hope when she Is in pain. But hope Seems to run away because  You can't find something if you Don't believe in it. She starts to lose Her battle against her misery. The voices
She cries and breathes heavilyNo one understands her.She has tried over and over againTo fit in. And yet when she walks down the hallwaysShe holds her books closerAs her so called peers look down on her.
Feeling great I just got back from a date But have not always been this way Sure now I am ok But there was a lot to mend There was a point in my life I wanted it all to end.
Vulerable, Alone, Unstable. Without the makeup, you can't make a smile You can only cry because you don't have your costume. Desparate As you look for a way out Darkness Because you don't see the light
Miss Shadows portrail is what I consider betrail because she looks nothing like me.   Miss Shadow sits as my mind throws fits so calm, I can't imagine why.  
They say time heals all wounds But what if that isn’t true Wounds eventually turn into scars And time can’t heal a mark that lasts forever Because whenever you look down, there it is
What must life be consist of? & why must one socialize with one another for?
Someone is yelling in my dreams as I rest.Someone I don't like: with feelings I've surpressed.They tell my I'm strong on the surface,But as for my soul, It has no purpose.Someone who gets me in trouble,
  Learn early to trust no one,
A girl stands directly in front of me. Her eyes follow mine as she begins to smile. I desire to know more. I look closer and see the pain that she keeps hidden. Her soul consists of emptiness.
Broken girl, going around with that fake little smile as she says "im good."  It's a lie, she goes home just to cry. She runs miles a day in the rain, in a sweater. Just to lose the pounds shes gained.
We are both earthquakes because we are scared and I don’t think I can kiss the moon beams anymore. My lips have become raw and bruised and scabbed from whispering your name.
I wish I could tell you then, how much I really love you. You became less important, as my love for others grew. You are a true gift, a blessing indeed; I wish I knew that then
Being diagnosed was tough Being unknown was worse. From here it can only get better, with the right tools and a little good luck. Optimism will be my guide. This will be with me forever
A pressure to burnSpilling over, through my eyesSo I run, for a place to find sanction.And it's dirty, and lonely, and sick, (just like me)this is the perfect placeto find my own goD--
Sadness is some thing that often over takes my soul. I feel a empty ness inside myself and can't break it, I cry as the sadness pounds on me from all around, and can't seem to shake it.
A girl wanting more, Struggled with self confidence, Bound to her own thoughts.   Thoughts that destroyed her. Shouting that there is no hope, Refusing to stop.   Yet something remained,
How will I die? Will I die by fire? Will it be the tumbling of an empire? Maybe I will drown. Or get shot up in town.   These are all possibilities. But I know which will happen.
You know,  A long time ago I wanted to be a rapper.
How could it eat you alive, look through your eyes and control your every move. Your poor soul was taken with the
She
She walks alone, She eats alone , She doesnt talk much, might just say a simple hello, occationally She smiles, but She smilles at The Tree, for She can talk to it, and it can talk to she,
the first thing you should know is that I know you didn't plan for your life to be this way.  you were not a child who dreamt of life trapped in the four mint colored walls of a hospital room.
I'd take It all. Every one that you have ever had. You'd never experiene It; Think of what life would be like! All of It. Gone.   It wouldn't happen with a snap of a finger.
Shadows are dark  So it's easy to hide Because it is so afraid  Of showing itself on the outside    Shadows could be around people  Shadows could be found behind anything  Found behind boxes
O solar flares. Take me away from this terrible place where loved ones turn on you. Solar flare, why don't u come a little closer. Don't be afraid. Take all my troubles away.
Alone lost in the abyss Towering figures lack of grace Brute actions hidden in a subtle pace Movements that burn away  The euphoria of nostalgia  Time is but a fatal tease Oh please oh please cease
I write because I am sick, because I am always filled with anger and sadness.Typing my heart and soul out through these keys onto this screen and now in your mind is how I can slowly save myself.
If you were to stare into my soul where the feelings are mixed in a bowl you'd be in agony and tears not like my peers with no words to explain all the sadness 
   Tearstained face from all the stress, Tired of being caught up in this mess. Faded scars on my skin, Memories appearing again and again.
The first time I was attacked I was nine years old They liked to call me an 'it' And blamed me for killing the class plants growing by the windowsill. Later on in the year my teacher left the room for ten minutes
The darkness it swells up like a wave getting taller every second it looms ominously over my head and then suddenly it crashes down and engulfs me making everything dark
I noted today that hope oft dissipates to the cloudsIs that because it's where dreams are found?A forlon sigh that travels the windWill surely find freedom come world's end
All I see in this world, is blue having no one to confide in you you find yourself inapt to do the things you wish to find and sew.   Pieces left to rot and dew the minds who have not a clue
 Show me how you bleed,
 I will bleed out in your place and kiss your aching heart.

 Teach me how you sin,
I will sin twice as much and embrace your broken soul.
This disease is stealing you away from everybody you care about inability to disclose you need help but you can't accept it too proud to take anybody's hand or to admit defeat and then with poetic justice
Here I am watching the rain whip through the window The water seeps in the cracks of the thirsty hard wood floor My face is soaking wet as I stand by the window, watching you leave
I don’t know what got me here… I don’t know why I’m here, I don’t know who brought me… the last thing I remember is saying goodbye world.
You really think it’s hard to live in blue? I wish you the best in finding yellow. You should shoot for pink in its harshest hue, or mint green, I heard it keeps you mellow. You’re much too old for orange’s energy,
Mirror, o' mirror Clung upon my wall. Reveal unto me Life Or, blessed Death shall befall!   A Frankenstein of thought Molded by the Divine. A Mad hatters’ noxious creation,
  Through and through the lines were blue The paper, white; the pencil, new Each stroke the artist made gave way To new creations everyday   All her life, she drew and drew 
  Pain, Torment, Hurt, Sorrow, Emptiness Feelings I experience everyday There is no way to describe Let them wash away and happiness stay  
You're tired. Each day weighs heavily on your tongue. Where do you go? What do you do? Who do you become?   You stumble into a yellowing kitchen. Cupboard doors hang onto their hinges with tremulous grips.
and you lie awake at night listening to the sweet stars whispering sweet lies.the bright Darkness of the nightsky glaring down at you.
I write the words i cannot say. I write them with tears on every page. I have thoughts i keep to myself. People used to worry about my health. I fund pen and paper. I write down every event that may occur. I write to express.
What eats me up inside, is what is keeping me sane. What eats me up inside, is what is keeping me insane. Living with such conditions is not a choice, but a blessing.
My father is an alcoholic. My mother's love is harsh.  When I talk, nothing I say is heard The only thing keeping me sane is my writing.  It's my outlet when everything is going downhill. 
I sit with a post it, Willing the words from my sophomoric mind, And they do not come, For I have nothing to say.   
There's something less than vaguely human on this face Something that speaks to terror and violence and hands curled as claws in the night, muscles twitching for blood  
She walked and walked, appearing to enjoy life, But no one noticed her cuts and her strife. She stayed up one night thinking about an unreachable bliss, And she cried as she watched the blood drip from her wrist.  
Visitation Day   A long hall with locked doors on either end Some unfamiliar face through a window has to buzz you in
Why I Write? What kind of question is that? Why do you breathe? Why do you speak? Why do you sit there and think? Some Dance and sing Some Do math and physics
Wandering Words  A violin has potential to awaken a heart with her lovely tune Just as words have the potential To free someone
The pain that I felt over the years The kind that brought those silent tears The more I saw my heart break The less of a women in myself I thought I could make Many times I thought I fought my love
There once was a girl With long brown hair With bright blue eyes And skin so fair   There once was a girl With tears in her eyes With a blade in her hand And shaken with cries  
Before, I had nothing. An empty bottle of ink; no quill. Endless. White. Space. Before, I was silent. a pin cushion to prick. a bag to punch. no sound, just space. Before, my emotions hurt.
Broken streets mind is forced to travel, Empty soul enforced to search. Trembling hands hunt for redemption, Merely paper they unearth.   Lips begin to quiver As crystal escapes at last,
I've never been the girl who was alone. I always had a friend by my side, walking down the halls in school, over summer break in the park, there was always someone who asked me to come.
Carlyn Frye Why I Write Scholarship 08/10/2013 Troubling Inspiration   Married, four kids, a big household Working for a company with a huge work load
He writes poetry, He writes art. Poetry brings out the loud voice within him, Poetry was the elation he needed during those dark moments in high school. Yes, poetry was his anti-depressant. His drug.
  The 5 senses I was blessed with became my curse   I saw, I felt, I smelled, I heard, i tasted what my life offered me   My hopes, thoughts, and dreams became deflected  
A star-studded calendar and meeting the sun every day at seven cannot curve the blowOf the fact that we are learning the unspoken of moving apart.I miss you.
For so long i struggled with unhappiness. Looking into the mirror, wishing the pigment of my skin was just a tad bit fairer  That if so life would be a lot easier. For me, just living wasn't even worth it
I am from a big city to a small town. I am from the green eyes of my broken hearted mother. I am from the epileptic father, taken hours after my birth. I am from the drunken, broken promises of my step father.
When so many things  are going through my head I use Poetry to get them out or it'll come out in the wrong way   The only acting I'm good at is when I write I can play a killer, an outcast,
As I sit in my room I ponder the many reasons why I write. A ponder and wonder and think for a moment. I have many reasons, and I shall try to be contrite.... I write to escape.
Poetry What it meant to me before Just words written in a stanza With rhymes and patterns I knew that they’re art expressed in words
I am seventeen, and I have never met one as young as me to suffer from PTSD.   All I want is attention. I just cause tension. I'm faking it. Exaggerating it.  
My struggles are hard to muster I feel like nobody understands me My struggles dull my luster  like rust to something shiny I though I was a normal kid  living the suburban life  Now I'm black man
Disappointment ‘round every corner Burnt bridges unsafe to venture No top hats like the frog of Warner Just utter sadness, until the need for dentures   Pitiful attempts to leave the nest
              I write to bleed emotion on this blank piece of tree,to connect to the depths in my mind understnading why.
When I am hurt Words flow from my mind Like blood flows from a cut My mind is raw like my skin My mind hurts like a wound Pain radiates to my heart My hand move quick Ink stains paper
My mind wanders to the peeling paint To the bleeding stars in the night sky My eyes scan the bland nothingness My lips murmur to the silence There's soft music in the darkness An entire concert in my ear
She tried to console me but her arms felt like chains, they were cold and skinny and mean like chains. I told her she didn't care and I meant it, I felt that she was never there and I believed it.
I am the heart of my house now, i've become the very soul of this dark place. The water of the dripping faucet is my tears and the lifeless broken mirror is my face. I am the walls, plain, worn, and bare.
OH, EXCUSE ME Let me dig myself a hole, lace it with insincerity and senioritis and fill it to the brim with misery Allow me to proceed to throw myself in this vacancy in the ground
No one can see the pain, Lurking behind her smile. No one knows what she tells herself Late at night. No one knows the real story of The scars up and down her arm. No one can fathom the hell
Do you know what it's like To be in this world alone? To be so different That no one understands?   As I wish upon the stars For the very first time I stand there Like time is mine
The night flies past meMocking my sanityI scream silentlyPleading to the moon My cries fall upon deaf earsI am again left to my selfWho is this with meA person I do not know
I write not because it makes me feel special, Not because it makes me feel scholarly, But because it’s my one bit of air that I gasp in Before the tidal wave comes crashing down over my head, Drowning
Depression hurts It is not the latest trend to be snapped up by the eager massesIt is a false faced monster that swallows up its prey without mercyIt is not a pretty jewel to add to a crowned head
Put on the makeup. Dry your tears. Smile for the camera. Don't ever tell anyone. Everyone already knows. He hit you again last night. He'll hit you again tonight, like every night before, and every night to come. Leave him you tell yourself.
Friday I need to deposit this check and I need to buy food. But I fear the banker’s scowl and that cashier who was rude. I forget the proper way to fill in the deposit slip
  You think you know fear? Demons, ghosts, and possessions? You know nothing of fear. Fear is hearing the click from the other end of the phone, When your best friend just admitted to swallowing the pills.
For too long, anxiety and depression have been the rulers of my life.             A ruthless king and his queen, with faces of iron and eyes of flame. Trauma is the groom, waiting for PTSD, his soon-to-be wife.
In the darkness and the rain,My life will never be the same.The driver crossed into my lane,And for my trauma is to blame.
The darkness encloses slowly, Circling my mind and keeping Me from feeling anything. Why am I always so alone? Secretly weeping a river Of memories to slip,
I’m succumbing Giving into the urge.   I want to stop. Pause. Why do I breathe, When every gasp burns my throat?   I can’t find myself And I’ve already lost you.
She comes fast, speeding down the left wing board. A shot, a rocket, to my new facemask. Blackness. Ringing in my ears. No pain. Lord, I do not trust myself to stand. The task At hand – “Cover it” – a voice far away. 
The mind is never a wasteland And even without a helping hand The ultimate defense is to withstand And for happiness to be a demand. This is the youth of our nation Eagerly seeking salvation
anger with frustration is a nasty combination with a little confusion and you mind will cave in head simply spinning   can't concentrate forget the date and run in hell's direction
  They always tell you not to cry over spilled milk, for better fortunes will follow, and all will be okay. But sometimes, when the cup is tipped over,  the situation does not just concern the dropped drink,
They say that I'm ill.
Let's clear up some misconceptions about being depressed. It's not too outlandish an idea to reconginze that getting better cannot be equated with therapy. Depression is a hunger for something lost or
My ma always told me to take my medicine so I would grow big and strong  I take my pills everymorning for my heart, my back and my mind She also mentioned something about medicine for my brain and doing so was not wrong
If
If words were whips that stung the flesh and left the prisioner craving death would you dare to care at all?   If names were knives that scarred the face and stung the wounds
They’re in a glass box, And you can’t reach them.   You can’t find the key…   They scream,
So you hoped your heart would keep you strong
It would appear pretentious If I said I needed to write to live Because that can be disproven by a child But there are some things in life that may not be essential That we can surely live without
I was introduced to poetry in the everyday mentions of the topic though it never intrigued me until quite recently.  One of my best friends has always written, though she never wrote poetry - just stories. 
the cuts you make are little secrets, and the longer their duration, the more intimately familiar you become with them. you know the feel of each and how many are on each arm, each knee, each calf.
Help me!Help me!Can't you hear my scream!?The pounding of my heart -the grinding of my teeth!?Dear goodness,somebody please!My Anixiety it's eating me!
Every day is spent imprisoned in my own body I try to change, but nobody ever sees me Wishing things would go my way, but knowing they never will I would like to welcome you to my hell
I can’t wear a smile. They’re too bright, I’m more of a frown, it’s more of my style. I’m blessed, but I’m stressed as you can see. Mind stuck on shit it shouldn’t be. Concerned with fam, confused about friends,
You were the reason for romantic fantasies You were the reason for warm and comforting hugs You were the reason for constant daydreams You were the reason for soft kisses and love You were the reason for kindness
So stabilize;
As I lay waiting for sleep I pray. I pray for a glimmer of light in a sea of darkness. For the fear to end
Look in a mirror and see a monster The hate inside, fighting to take control In school they don’t see, at least not really They see a person not a monster I see so much of him inside of me
She wears a heart on her sleeve Permanent red staining her skin A delicate etching on a sensitive nerve She loves her wrists, she says She loves herself And will not Give in To the temptation to
I am the artist’s greatest joy Five foot five and 1/62 ” wide- A paper doll cut out from a stencil, So thin and flat That anyone can take the lightest lead And pencil in my features. And I let them.
Cold Stops the beating heart And Ice Freezes the soul. With every step the Flowers frost, the Plants perish, the Singing ceases, the Living die. In the wake of those footprints
When they know they’re going to Die, giraffes dig themselves a Hole And sit in it.
The tumultuous ocean of my mind Seems to ebb and flow with the moon, Cycling through high and low tides That all the while wear away the sands of time On the coasts of my consciousness.
It’s not for myself, but for You That I will stay strong. Any remaining morsel of self-worth Has fled But I will not hurt you Again. I swear on my very Life
Beep. Beep. Beep. Up and at ‘em, another day To slowly sell my soul away.
The sorrow stitched into my soul Became not part, but all my whole. The worry woven in my wounds Has locked the doors that seal my tomb. The little lies that line my loom Detail my future and my doom.
Today’s choice is a symphony in C minor With sorrow dripping from each stem In staccato stabs into my heart. A legato frowns over the mournful melody, Smoothly, sweetly singing me sins
Ayer, yo tenía la confianza Para ver el sol arriba; Pero ahora la luz Es demasiada brillante para los ojos Y veo las sombras Cabizbaja. Antes, yo esperaba Como la madrugada en el horizonte;
Everyone wants battle scars that Show they survived the fight But battles fought inside the heart Are rarely black and white.
Alone in shallow consciousness I’m drowning Only Life accompanies me, Shoving my head under so I Can’t breathe. No one needs you, Life tells me. You are useless, truly.
A decaying utopia of tragedies, Each fate befalling faster than the first Each man ending up a little more alone A little more forgotten in his plight
I'm falling, fading But I've already done this. Black glass Chasing the past Future. Unsure, no cure No sense but suspense Only not. Nothing, pure and new. I haven't got a clue.
Of the darkness emerging from our souls, beyond threshold of the black mire falling headfirst into the pits dying, our souls
The night’s young but the tide is high The black skies that petrify Lying on the shore I let the tide engulf me The ice cold embrace of the water drags me down Sinking like a stone I submit to the water’s grip
As the snow falls I feel the memories fade We're given a slate of time that can't be erased We're lulled- Into the cadence of life and the thought of love Herself. As the ice forms on the window pane
Screams shout from the soul. Dark demons fill the air. A hundred pieces of broken glass to walk upon. No where to go, lost, trapped. Stuck at the bottom, no way out. Help! No one hears, no one cares. The light is ever fading.
I was a Stopper, a panic, a coil, Watching. With Awe. as my life would spoil Away with fear as I lay in my slumber. Falsely believing my days were numbered.
Drowning in black. Pulling me back is the red The rage that brings around my head The blood to bring about the blue flood, Not of tears, but of a flimsy handle on my fears
Immortal souls don't last forever. They are taken by greed. Frozen in time and space. Never changing. Ceasing to live.
Fairytales A jack-in-a-box waiting to be cranked A wand waiting to grant a wish A tutu to cover the too, too many handprints on her legs Twirling around endlessly like the ceiling fan above her head Around a train track, a train that is missing a
It strikes midnight, and I’m home alone My parents have yet to return from work Paranoia kicks in, and as I turn to stone I hear a voice and slow footsteps lurk
Round the bend, Round the bend, They say I’ve gone round the bend. Off my rocker, off my rocker, Frankly I’ve never been on a rocker.
On the outside, I may look normal, Just like all the rest. But inside, I am hurting, My heart tearing in two, From the voices in my mind, That tell me what to do. I can’t escape their orders,
fO
why think a thought when you can sin it? why tell the truth when you can spin it?
I need to see my pain I need to I need to Cry for help? how I just want it to go away disappear be different. If only If only If only I were stronger Smarter
I can feel it in my heart I can feel it in my soul it's ripping me apart what a terrible hole The conflict never ceases only increases
I can still feel the moist coolness of the damp earth on my bare feet from that summer. I am lying on a wooden bench, my body so naturally pressing against its surface.
  BLED OUT   This pale heart of mine struggles with atony. Paper curls rain down from a fenestrated sky: Reams of esoteric paeans       soon crumpled by bored scientists.  
There are Voices. In my head In my heart Around me. Voices- Degrade me Humiliate me Hurt me Accuse me of my Worthlessness, Incompetence, Make me feel like SHIT, usually
Hold on there's so much here to live for. Find strength to carry on and a will to live. I've been there before, staring death in the face. Wanting to go but wanting to stay, once you're underground you don't come back.
Drip Drop Will it ever stop? The hurt The pain Blood dried on my shirt And still nothing to gain Why does the pain still persist? My happiness is so greatly missed. Inside I am screaming
I'm the shadow in a rainbow I'm the anger in a smile I'm a raincloud on a sunny day The tenth number in a dial
Everyone comes from somewhere You came from a mother with arms wide open offering you love and care and well my origin was not so nice and fluffy. I had no mother just a maker who crafted me from metal and wood
As lonely as a twilight sky That sees the sunlight slowly die, I almost learn to say goodbye- Darkness. You sink so far and out of view And though I try to follow you, Your light recedes into the blue-
I fell in to a hole filled with dark voices A hole full of dark voices I fell in to a hole They visit me in constricting dreams And speak to me
I am not beautiful. More like the Chernobyl accident than a butterfly unfurling its wings. I am radiation, making the surrounding area unlivable, still to this day. I am stagnant, vacant.
In my world Yes, look at me. It’s not all hugs and giggles or a candy sea In my world, There won’t be a rainbow or a pot of gold I’m a bit more complex. Let me show you a piece of my soul
(poems go here) A beginful past to a new way
November 26, 1997 A daughter is born To a family of four Immediately thrust into a competition with the first born Who she soon learned to abhor.
You’re the most amazing person You care for me and I care for you Nobody has ever made me feel this way I feel Butterflies in my stomach just looking at you What am I feeling?
The girl-scouts came out giddy with joy And proceeded to hang their birdy-house upon a lowly branch. Two moments flashed a pausing void And the scouts went in for lemonade passing the work of hands.
It sneaks up on you You think you can out run it, It can't catch up, I'll escape Escape is impossible, not matter what What you don't know is that it is right behind the corner,
Breathing, but barely, The ship sinks again. Trying, but not fighting, And done playing pretend. Back to the brighter days, Trust still lies. I can't try to understand as the last hope dies.
thinking of a message a message clearly drafted in your writing "I miss you, dearly" trying not look up or give a smidgen of any of these feelings I'm not taking they're just given
You're so selfish, entrail fish- Sucking all my energy out on a daily basis. Leaving me weak at my peak and soundless, groundless… slowly sinking…
Drive, ambition, my motivation, my goal my purpose in life, my sole reason for surviving this internal struggle This down and out state and multiple thoughts I juggle
Inspire me beloved poetry, surrounded in nothingness, alone and lonely, no place to call home but hell, but if hell is my realm then what next may come, asked I the suicidal bastard son,
The loop and bend of twisted knots A self-accelerating lapse One must forth and throttle through This mess that he begot
You hold my tired hand Your bright eyes crinkle into that widespread smile Your thumb traces the tired lines of my palm I do not know what our future holds After all, we're seventeen
I always die a little In Fall I guess The autumn breezes Just whisk away My fragile hopes And my broken dreams And carry them someplace Far away And I am left With the fears
Recovery is a process and not an event It's a struggle not to win but to find some common sense We're stuck in a world where failure is wrong Well, failure is a puzzle piece that completes our song
A smile, a nod, some kind of love, a wink, a glance, a knowing smirk, a friend, a lover, a neighbor, a sister, a brother, a cousin, an aunt, a mother, an uncle, a father, a stranger, a phone call, a text, a profession, a secret, an invitation, a l
I’ve been there before. In that dark place where the stark reality of life is too much to bear and all that seems possible is death. It has taken me years to crawl out... There are scars. So many scars.
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