Domestic violence

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Sometimes I think I see him still, in his old white Benz, blasting rap like he used to.   Sometimes I think he will find us again,
The Irony in Having the Name “Hope” H.C.   My name is Hope and I may be white But that does not mean that I am blind To the violence To the discrimination
Who am I? What have I let myself become? A person so dependent on your love that I merely can't see through the fog So blinded by the thought of you that it clouds the very reasons why this wall I've built is there
This is not my body This is not my body This skull does not belong to me This skull that you bashed in with a beer bottle is no longer mine This neck that you wrapped your fingers around is not under my possession
This is not my body This is not my body This skull does not belong to me This skull that you bashed in with a beer bottle is no longer mine This neck that you wrapped your fingers around is not under my possession
I am more than a small waistline and an hourglass figure I am powerful and wise I am they that gave birth to a thousand generations
A year defined and caged by a measurement, and constrained by time, could never explain the revelations, or cover the cost of my silent frustrations.
You took me out on adventures all the time, knowing i had anxiety, saying it was fine. You didn't let my fears take over- every event was another step closer to feeling free from the anxiousness that was attached to me.
A product of immigrants chasing the American Dream Country full of racism and hate, it’s not all glamour and gleam Witnessed dad beating on mom, can still hear her cry and scream Mom was ready to move out with the kids
I have grown to hate my grandfather.  I have grown to hate my grandfather. I have grown to hate his smile. I have grown to hate his smile that used to greet me with such kindness and authority. 
You're like my own personal drug, Addicive and intoxicating, You cast a spell on me, And I can never break free.   It's dangerous, And I know I should run,
  No matter how many times I prove them wrong he always proved them right. With every comment, snarl, and blow I found new ways to forgive.
They never talk about this. They never talk about what happens after. When the crowds leave. When the pomp and circumstance has faded. When there's nothing left but me and him.
She comes home from work sugar coated With heavy eyes deflated like a failed bread bakers experiment And I wait at the table For her to come home
He came over eyes livid  jaw clenched, chin forward body stiff. a tiger waiting to pounce I watched
Words slapped me in the face With their crimson fury Without hesitation I let them envelop me Watering myself in a shower of emotion
the once white walls faded to yellowwith the contact of cigarette smokethe plates in the kitchen were shatteredthe door to the bathroom was broke    
Never scream. The one unspoken rule, the one and only coveted truth.Not when she cries, not when he lies,Not even with maggot-like fingers caressing your thighs. Never, ever scream. 
My wrist, formless, shifting and breaking like a cloud;You grab hold, tightly--too tightly,And I vaporize before your eyes.  
    Swirls of red angrily coated the walls. Nightmares whispered in the wind. She saw him in the flashes of lightening.   We sat together in a bus-stop. Alone, just her and I.
    She was tall and thin, old and grey. When I looked at her my blood ran cold. She had been kicked & beaten, battered and bruised.   Her name was midnight,
She's taken everything for granted. Her friends, her family, and her freedom have never been appreciated. She never realized she had done it. But now, as she lays there, naked and bare, on this cold table
Fly across the room. Help is not soon. Demise is your doom.
"You Motherfucker" She said as she let the darkness within her That she suppressed and kept hidden for so long, awaken. Rendering him powerless  with every word she spoke.
Packing is always the first step. What to take? What to leave? Too much stuff. not near enough time. I've only got five minutes, and once I'm gone I have to stay gone. Fumble. Rush. T-shirts. Underpants. 
How do you know When you’ve outlived Your welcome? I’ve always been distant Never right in front of you If I weren’t anchored to this body
I lied for your attention. “It’s broken” “Sorry, ran out of ink” “I had to shut it down because of the storm” All of these excuses I told Not because I hated you But because I loved you
he begins drinking at five; i begin hiding at six. at seven, we sit down for dinner. until eight, we nibble and pick.   at nine, we collect in the foyer. we sit and we all watch tv.
Why won’t I get it?   I have friends both male and female. I go to parties. I’m social with others. I do all these things and yet Whenever I hear my loved one does it as well My brain tells me
Lashed by
He is the city's greatest rider And as he rides me faster and faster The whole world can hear my screech  On the corner with the red stop sign   My wheels are wobbly 
I am a survivor One of many Same story different writing So how am I unique?   I could go on and on I am a survivor of domestic violence I had Daddy Issues
I was strong. I was stronger than you ever wanted me to be. I was strong in the face of your words, your actions, your “love”. You called me weak.
I am the alcohol on his breath and the anger that rolls off him in waves. I am thick sweatshirts in July and that time my mom told me to stop wearing so much foundation so she could see my "pretty skin."
Wait for it. The door slams shut. Wait a little longer. You're free. Who ever thought home was an unsafe place to be?
Tick tock, tick tockThe clock is screamingMy tears are sreamingIs he here tonight?  
It was by chance I stumbled  into the fierce lions terrain  and he looks like all the rest  with large claws, sharp teeth, and his mane   Instinct readied my legs to run 
I never had a wall. There was nothing therefor you to climb over or knock downbut the more time I spent lingering in your shadowthe more bricks I foundand the faster I learnedto build. 
Give me a reason to love the way you fist connects with my jaw and your boot to my shins. Give me a reason to enjoy the taste of blood pooling in my mouth. Give me a reason to smile at the bruises on my sides and my thighs.
My face is the color of the rainbow, Yellow, blue, pink, and red. He beat me until I was numb. A couple more hits and I could've been dead.
I remember the time I first saw my mother cry. Her soft blue eyes were puddled with red.
straight lines brings back a flash back in time from sitting in the kitchen mama making sweet apple pies. Her lover made her heart race more ways than any other.
Loud nights, ears closed, doors locked,  tired floors.
  There are millions of voices that are silenced
Slam.  Mommy is lying on the ground. Daddy threw her there; I saw it from behind The wooden banister which I wrapped my stuffed snake around  Only three hours before. 
It's coming around the corner, The corner on 13th street. Shuffling and scuffling along on its heavy and weakened feet.   It's coming down the sidewalk, twitching and swaying in the night.
I hear the hinges creak, gla
Look into my eyes and you will see, the different side there is to me. Secrets that I've hidden so long that I sometimes forget, all the lies he told me, and all of this regret. Look into my soul and you will feel,
My broken family Started break, break, breaking With broken blood vessels under the tearless eyes
Love doesn’t hurt but it really does You know why Because you proved it right I pretend not to see it But I know it’s there
Thump thump is all they hear Behind bruised skin I drown in my tears
The Depraved CreatureAn ice cold wind stirs with death in the airPictures flash around the mind like blazesThere on the ground lies a girl filled with despairThe dark creature besides her gazes
What is love?  Is it that splintering feeling of pain when you reach over from the driver's seat to touch her shoulder and "Apologize" for yelling?  Is it that fear to go to sleep because I know what the alcohol does? 
In this desolate forest of once proud, beautiful trees, long ago, stood an effervescent tree. She stood towering and strong with nimble, yet steady roots
Thinking again, I should've left. Saw your crooked smile, pondering eyes. You left me in the dust, you didn't care at all.
Here I stand, in my apartment, where you broke me, you took the old me, and molded me into something new. someone I hardly recognize,  who is that girl in the mirror?
I've got a confession to make I lost myself…. I lost myself in trying to hold on to someone Who didn't care about losing me
You held on to the dreams 
You should not have had. 
I wished I could help, 
But I don’t feel bad.
No Mama. Nothing is wrong, I was running, I fell, I shouldn't have been running. He told me not to run.   My innocence? It's gone. He took it from me,
Slap me with your words and crawl into my mind  where you'll find me or what's left of me.  Grab me with your hands, handle me like you had handled me. Gently, 
Every 2 minutes a person becomes
  Welcome to my Nightmare   She broke another bowl today. It was the second one this week.
He buys you things, so you let him beat you down, (My mom) yell at you  (my friend) and call you a bitch, hoe, tramp and everything else indecent under the sky (my other friend)
Time and time again
I do. I hesitate as the words cross my lips The days of love are bright, But only at first. The colors become dull. The Abuse becomes normal. The Cries become endless songs.
She was three 
Mia
She didn't know it at the time,
When I make him angry He grabs onto my wrists And rips me apart With his white-knuckled fists But I’ll cover it up So the bruises won’t show And Brandon can stay happy Because he’ll never know
  You crept insideLike a deer in head lightsI was before you. And thenCrushed slowlyJerking aboutTo the beat of making loveI was fucked. How incredibly lucid this dream continues to be.
You banged on my heart like your fists were a drum; You gathered me sweetly in arms like a dove— You told me “always” under the sun.
Mommy's baby, you know i love you  You know i'd never put anyone above you but tonight you have to sleep downstairs Me and your daddy might get into a bit of a fight Mommy what do you mean? Are you going to hit my daddy
You know that couple. The one that is always together And he would do anything that she asked. Their sugared embraces, Their striking stares.   But their eyes hide what lingers behind closed doors.
A soft whisper in the dark room sounded Whimpers flowing from her lips as he pressed against her A normal Friday night as the lovers embraced roughly
  Glares full of hatred and hormones Rooms full of screams and loud moans Mouths full of insults and "I love you"'s He's gonna kiss you then shove you And tell you he never wanted you
HIM
  The insults he spits at me stab my chest It feels almost as good as when he  grabs my breast  so, I egg him on It isn’t long until his hands are around my arms, my eyes wide and my breath caught
I was that quiet girl that never spoke who never lied and never took  I never cried and never smiled who never had a chance to go to trial  I had the bruises you never saw 
She sips her water wondering Wondering what wonders life will bring Waiting for the day She'll find the courage she needs to say End the violence end the pain As he swings she screams the name in vain
The monster used to share my bed Now he lurks near my only exit Threatening to take everything away He breaths smoke languidly His tiger eyes burn with rage
         Girl: my mind is purple confusion/deslusion. How was this only yesterday/yesterday’s game and now I’m looking at  British boys of your same name.
Dear Jessica, I hugged you as you left for the park. You borrowed my shoes, Your make-up was perfect. You were meeting him, The first of many times. You asked me if you were crazy,
Black. Her eye, because She was wrong Again. It was her own fault, As always.   Beige. A brush full of concealer Hiding a secret Nobody will learn.   Red.
Put on the makeup. Dry your tears. Smile for the camera. Don't ever tell anyone. Everyone already knows. He hit you again last night. He'll hit you again tonight, like every night before, and every night to come. Leave him you tell yourself.
He left behind One(1) fractured cabinet door, split down the middle when he                 lost control and slammed it three(3) broken, burnt out lamps
What am I to you? Don't I cry and hurt like you? Don't I feel like you? Aren't I someone who aspires?   Or   Am I just what you own? Am I what you disregard?
You had a bad relationship, and try to put it in the past. You think that you’re okay, but the memories seem to last. You have nightmares and bad thoughts, that never seem to end,
  What a beautiful color, red, she said And smashed it down with her hand Orange is pleasant as well, I can tell! And crushed it according to plan. Green, so keen, a fervent shade
You wake up and realize it's not okay. What happened was not okay. I was lucky,  she wasn't.   To the strong that are still here, being and all, teach us how to appreciate.  
This is a video recording of a spoken word piece called Resilient Rose. This poem is dedicated to survivors of abuse, trauma, or tragedy. Don't give up!  
I need it to breathe. These poems, they aren't just words or even songs to me. They help me find out who I really am, they make me see, they make me see the good the ba and the ugly in me.
I know it's a sin But oh, bondage Where did it begin? I can't trace my steps My heart to slaughter Flesh ripped apart Crimson water Cascading in a river
The implications of your strength confuse My emotions and leave me perplexéd; Do I find safety in your able arms, Or do I fear the strength sup’rior to mine? The way you take control is my excuse
To be ownéd by you is my dark wish, Sweet man who has power to bid me his will, And protect me from those who’d demolish My heart and send my world into a hell. I do not care what the radicals say,
Her concrete coffin is now cold wall to wall All of these neon rainbows hold no glow at all That little angel is on a midnight ride She is tough on the surface, but trembling inside The boys tell her to look alive
As I lay waiting for sleep I pray. I pray for a glimmer of light in a sea of darkness. For the fear to end
I refuse to put my hair up this week. I have bruises on my neck and throat and shoulders. It hurts, oh God it hurts.
I'm not into everyday people.
"Just hanging out with a friend, Honey” he said, with his back turned to us as he spoke lovingly to his wife who sat miles away, on that set of islands we call our Motherland, on the other end of the phone line.
What is love? Love is the way, that he got me high, and layed me down to breathe together. Love is the way that he yelled, he screamed, he tore holes in walls and psyches.
I am NOT your Toy. My body is NOT ball jointed plastic limbs bendable for your covetous cock play
I was a seed begging for attention, desperate to bloom One day I would be a flower! I grew into a bud envious of others who had already bloomed One day I would be lovely! When I blossomed I was a beautiful rose
when we first talked i thought all was well with the world, you were sweet and kind and going to be mine... But when we went on our first date something arose like a snake and struck me with its fangs as fast as light.
Can you not see that we are both the same? Having you became my chaotic drive Like demons that were not meant to be tame Hugging your leg with your knife in my side Desiring your heart would never end
losing myself in the eye of darkness the ear that yearns to speak but says nothing...... just because the mouth is in charge of voice the eyes can't see the waves of sound caught in the angle of sorrow.....
I Love You The most special words a guy could have said We'll live happily ever after, like those fairytales I've read Kiss me softly, whisper sweet nothings in my ear
Stupid me? Shame on me? I thought you were telling me the truth when you said that you love me.
He
Who is that slamming down On the already red flesh It is He. I hear the cries from all angles… is it me? I dare not look because It is He. I see the fallen hairs, the fallen tears, and the blood
Fleeing from the hurt My blue sky turns to a darker night Shadows crept from the horizon Voices rose Words sharp as tongues Whirred like a thousand engines I hear no tender talk
They see a monster, but I see perfection He saw content, but I saw an injection Where do I go when I need Protection? Judgment sees bruises but I see affection
You tell me to accept. Accept it’s never you, it’s always me; Except, I’m never-well, you’re always right. Accept I’m bad, there’s something wrong with me; Except, it’s not my-well, I guess you’re right.
While he painted her face with different tones of blue blotches of purple’s many shades interrupted by dripping red clear lines streaming down Jakayla was here assisting Crayola in creating her own utopia
He said he loves me so it must be in my mind This is how he shows his love The other night when he kicked me down from behind His job is stressful he does not mean harm It is only venting
No eyes doubt your mirrors, broken by beauty. The cracks run red, perhaps from the lipstick you used to cover your bruised lip. You wish to leave the lipstick off along with everything else adding to your disguise,
There isn't a stir, Dim light bathing the room in gold, And she sits, staring out the window The landscape a canvas she paints with her eyes, Conjuring dreams from the mind to the beyond.
She was a tree Not because she was strong and sturdy But because of her inability to keep her thoughts together They fell like leaves on the sidewalk to be trampled by those who passed by
Chiquitita I am sorry That you are blue and black That he’s taught you that all you have worth Is your body And that you think that you are dumb. Chiquitita it’s alright to cry
A World Without Abuse
My mama ain't here, My pa was never there. Never had a real mom, Went from working to a drinking bomb. Never had a real dad, Yeah I guess it makes me a little sad. She told me 1 & 2 beat her,
In one night, so many Things changed. Talking Turned to yelling. Laughter Turned to crying. Arguing Turned to slapping. Father Turned to abuser. Mother Turned to abused. Children
BAMB! was that the door? I heard my heart thud in my chest. my chest, so shaken up, my throat so hard to swollow. clinching. my hands and teeth. just hearing the scream. PLEASE STOP!
Oak pressed back, Musk pressed forward, Suffocation burnt into my cells. Never forget your first time.
Why was it that I could not look at you without smiling the rest of the day? I would walk by the corridors gazing at the distance, seeing no one but you. Your laugh, your smile, your voice, all charmed me.
For a girl from a small town She wanted a lot from a big world. Tears and sorrow filled too much space, She had to do something, it had to be erased.
Out of Sight. Out of Mind. sometimes it’s hard to find the paradise I had in mind I fight with all my might and I’m still here. You’re still there. Out of Sight. Still in Mind.
Iran, when did you end up infected? I never knew so far has spread, This deadly plague, Now your women shall suffer, You shall have your share of screams, More cries from more Mothers,
Unity Five letters that mean so much, It’s something you can feel but just can touch. It’s a word that was meant to unite us, Because often times we let subtle differences divide us.
One can never see what goes on behind closed doors. All you have is the insight from a young, bright-eyed girl, who just wants a chance. A typical suburban family is not all as it seems.
Illuminating rays tickle her face the world is shrouded in darkness except for this Place. Here there’s no fear no Worry. no Strife. How she wished to live here the rest of her life.
There are three layers of beauty: Scars, bruises, and then the cover up Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women – More than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined
Purple, black and blue devours my peachy skin and engulfs my precious soul. A dab of foundation here; a pat of powder there Long sleeves on a summer day and a well-developed lie to blanket my heart.
The Silent Tears She Cries Night after Night Looks Down At Her Scars & Bruises Questions herself: “why? Why me? I know I do not deserve this!” Wants a Way Out But is too Naive and thinks its loves
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