Whispers

Sat, 01/18/2014 - 18:52 -- MedAsh

 

I hear it during the day, as much as I try to push it away

I hear it at night, although I just try to see it as an attempt to fright

It grows louder when I am scared, it grows louder when I am insecure

It's silent when they say "We're so proud!", but that little moment quickly wears out

"Shh..." it whispers, "Shh...you won't last long." and I feel my shoulders sagging, my pride is quickly gone

I say "I can do it, it won't bring me down", but that quickly fades as I hear its low sound

"Shh..." it whispers, "Shh...you won't last long." and I feel my  legs trembling my dreams are quickly gone.

But I keep pushing, I try to give it my all, but what's left, except for me to fall?

They say it's in my mind, they repeat it all the time, but if it were so simple then why can't I stop the sound, make it impossible to be found?

"Shh..." it whispers, "Shh...you won't last long." and my heart starts racing, my palms get sweaty, my inexistence outshines, this is how I truly feel at times

Wait…

Was it truly in my mind, or were they things people said around me all the time?

These insecurities, these flaws I find, these voices I hear, they surround me all the time, they're all mine, and they are in my mind…

Everyday I drown myself in shallow water that feels so deep

Everyday I barely hurt myself, yet by the end of the day, I have so many bruises

These voices are mine, those people are me, I am these insecurities.

"Shh..." it whispers, "Shh...you won't last long." I know it's me, but I cannot stop, nothing can quiet these nasty remarks

As long as I live those insecurities will stay alive nothing can kill this monster inside

"Shh..." it whispers, "Shh...you won't last long." and now I know  this song by heart, this lullaby is now a  part of I, the monster I've created inside

 

 

 

 

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