"How can you not see all the great things I see about you?" I ask. 

The question itself is semi-ironic because I feel so blinded with what I must be missing

or else she wouldn't hate herself

or else she wouldn't get mad at me when I said those words "I idolize you"

something must hurt inside. I've felt pain, I've skinned knees, I've sprained ankles. But I forget the difference

between the pain I feel and the pain inside her self disgust.

If anybody can be my best friend, it's her. She is going through times that I haven't seen with my own eyes.

I deal with her bringing me down some days. Because she looks at me with those eyes of loyalty and honesty,

and I know that she doesn't truly mean what she says. She wants to feel good. She wants to feel the love

her community tries to spoon feed her, But she just spits it out with harsh words to follow.

one day, I will just hug her, tell her I'm sorry and that I understand. But for now, I have to save her from sadness.