Food.

Water.

Love.

Hope.

People say these things keep them alive. And they do.

They make life worth living. They give hu-

mans the spark they need to continue on.

But when they’re gone,

What then gives you the strength to see another sun?

 

What can you do when you have nothing?

See nothing? Hope nothing? Are nothing?

Because I have been there. And sometimes love is not enough

to keep your friends from having had enough,

to keep you from having had enough.

Enough.

 

What then?

 

When I was starving, when I was alone,

When I had no money, barely had a home,

When I thought I’d be killed, you see,

When once I thought my killer was going to be me,

I didn’t know what I needed most. I had no clue.

I didn’t know until it happened. I heard words so true.

 

In those dark times, when I thought I’d never be free,

That still, small voice from above said to me,

“Wait, just wait.”

 

So I waited.

 

Alone in my room, surrounded by books and papers,

Abandoned by friends, family, abandoned even by haters,

And no one then knew

What I was going through

Because they hadn’t been there too,

Depression stepping on you,

Pressure to be the best in school.

 

It happened every year,

Students came in that were no longer here,

That set themselves free,

And this time it was gonna be me.

But before I could do it, all I heard was

“Wait, just wait.”

 

So I waited.

 

Crouched down in a park in the middle of the night,

I’d just heard gunshots, hoped the shooters weren’t standing right

Behind me. And I thought “this was it

But hey, maybe I wouldn’t get hit.

And if I did would it hurt a lot?”

Didn’t matter: I couldn’t feel anything because the blood in my veins was burning RED HOT

With fear and then I heard,

“Wait, just wait.”

 

And I waited.

 

Vomiting blood, stomach burning, so alone.

A small city in a big country so unknown.

I didn’t speak the language of anyone there,

I knew if I died no one would even care.

But all I heard was,

“Wait, just wait.”

 

Freezing in the middle of winter in my home,

No money for heat to fight against the cold.

Wrapped in a blanket, losing feeling in my toes,

All I heard was,

“Wait, just wait.”

 

Wait. Wait. For this too shall pass.

 

These words are all I need.

Because when all hell is breaking loose,

And I feel my body slowly but surely running out of juice,

Sometimes the best thing to do is

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

 

Something’s gotta go, something’s gotta give.

And food may keep me alive, but it won’t allow me to live.

Sometimes I need to stop and just slow my roll

Rather than freak out and go and go and go,

And then go do something that I am GOING to regret

FOREVER.

 

I need to wait, just wait

For the darkness to pass.

For this too shall pass.

 

Sometimes things get so bad and

When I hear

“you are special”

 

“believe in yourself”

 

“you’ll get through this”

 

I know they don’t really understand.

But what will always kill my darkness

Is that still, small voice.

I will always Wait, just wait.

For this too shall pass.

 

Photo Citation:

Van Eeden, Jaan-Paul. Phoenix Final07. Digital image. Deviant Art. N.p., n.d. Web.