Taking It Back

He started out as nothing more than the new kid

From a far off town that no one knew the name

Rumors flew everywhere

Of him having fled from a dangerous past

A past of women and drugs

Yet the only thing I cared

Was why did he stare?

 

Weeks went on

And one day I noticed

When I went to look up at him

It was like looking at a tree in front of me

With a strong build and very tall

Especially compared to little short me

 

When he first spoke to me

He sounded scared and timid

Like a dormouse

Yet full of pride

Like when Simba takes his place on Pride Rock

 

I didn’t understand his fond interest in me

Like I some idol meant to be worshipped

They only thing we had in common

Was the bus we rode to school everyday

We barely even talked and yet he was always at my door

My friends would come and and bring him along

Yet something inside told me to retreat from him

 

One day he came alone

I thought I should give him a chance

Because when all I knew about him

Was his mother left him as a kid?

Almost like Maui whose parents left him for dead

 

We become friends but not too close

The drugs in his system made it toxic

Like I was always in a cloud of smoke

Struggling to ever properly breath

Somedays wishing the battle would end

And I’d be left with smoke in my lungs

Pale skin and a face crying for help

 

At a time the drugs won the battle inside his mind

Clouded by the fog of desire and want

He did what he thought was the only thing to do

Pulled me away while I screamed and cried

Not even trying to hide my flowing tears

 

I wished I had blacked out leaving nothing to remember

But I remember so much

The digging of my nails into his skin

Fighting to save my life

Like Mufasa when he was pushed by Scar

Blood shot eyes staring into my soul that still haunt me at night

The wailing of my screams echoing like a banshee

 

The screams that haunt my dreams

Dreams? Can I even call them that?

Can I even call them nightmares?

When I know they are true

 

They are true to the point I wake up in sweats

Shaking with fear

Thinking I’m back there

Remembering the sweat beads dripping from his head

The rain that was pounding on the window outside

The thoughts I had running through my mind

At a mile a minute with no intention of stopping

 

Stop!

Try to breathe

Try to remember it’s not my fault

That he did this to me with no care in the world

Screaming and yelling yet he still didn’t hear no

That he’s the reason I’m broken

The reason that any person I love works so hard to hold me

Only for me to push back

 

He took my innocence

Like it was his own

Wanting me to be Sleeping Beauty

So he could have his way with me

He took my voice

Making me mute to beg people for help

No one understanding what I tried to say because

Like Ariel my voice was taken by a sea witch

 

Now I take a stand here to tell you the truth

No longer letting him control my fate

Because like Merida I have the freedom to choose

And I chose to stand up here and speak for everyone who understands

Speaking for the people who had no say or too scared to

Because like Cinderella no abuse will stop me from making my dreams come true  

  

This poem is about: 
Me
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