Taking It Back
He started out as nothing more than the new kid
From a far off town that no one knew the name
Rumors flew everywhere
Of him having fled from a dangerous past
A past of women and drugs
Yet the only thing I cared
Was why did he stare?
Weeks went on
And one day I noticed
When I went to look up at him
It was like looking at a tree in front of me
With a strong build and very tall
Especially compared to little short me
When he first spoke to me
He sounded scared and timid
Like a dormouse
Yet full of pride
Like when Simba takes his place on Pride Rock
I didn’t understand his fond interest in me
Like I some idol meant to be worshipped
They only thing we had in common
Was the bus we rode to school everyday
We barely even talked and yet he was always at my door
My friends would come and and bring him along
Yet something inside told me to retreat from him
One day he came alone
I thought I should give him a chance
Because when all I knew about him
Was his mother left him as a kid?
Almost like Maui whose parents left him for dead
We become friends but not too close
The drugs in his system made it toxic
Like I was always in a cloud of smoke
Struggling to ever properly breath
Somedays wishing the battle would end
And I’d be left with smoke in my lungs
Pale skin and a face crying for help
At a time the drugs won the battle inside his mind
Clouded by the fog of desire and want
He did what he thought was the only thing to do
Pulled me away while I screamed and cried
Not even trying to hide my flowing tears
I wished I had blacked out leaving nothing to remember
But I remember so much
The digging of my nails into his skin
Fighting to save my life
Like Mufasa when he was pushed by Scar
Blood shot eyes staring into my soul that still haunt me at night
The wailing of my screams echoing like a banshee
The screams that haunt my dreams
Dreams? Can I even call them that?
Can I even call them nightmares?
When I know they are true
They are true to the point I wake up in sweats
Shaking with fear
Thinking I’m back there
Remembering the sweat beads dripping from his head
The rain that was pounding on the window outside
The thoughts I had running through my mind
At a mile a minute with no intention of stopping
Stop!
Try to breathe
Try to remember it’s not my fault
That he did this to me with no care in the world
Screaming and yelling yet he still didn’t hear no
That he’s the reason I’m broken
The reason that any person I love works so hard to hold me
Only for me to push back
He took my innocence
Like it was his own
Wanting me to be Sleeping Beauty
So he could have his way with me
He took my voice
Making me mute to beg people for help
No one understanding what I tried to say because
Like Ariel my voice was taken by a sea witch
Now I take a stand here to tell you the truth
No longer letting him control my fate
Because like Merida I have the freedom to choose
And I chose to stand up here and speak for everyone who understands
Speaking for the people who had no say or too scared to
Because like Cinderella no abuse will stop me from making my dreams come true