look down

up

not good enough 

your thighs too flabby

stomach always overstuffed 

an apple for lunch

see it's not so tough 

good

don’t you feel better now?

 

look down 

up 

not good enough 

your arms are too fatty

you're hungry? grow up

drink some cold water

cold water burns more

good

don’t you feel better now?

 

look down 

up

not good enough 

your love handles are disgusting 

i’m getting fed up

now go on a jog, no wait a run 

don’t stop till you’re shaking

good 

don’t you feel better now?

 

look down 

up 

not good enough

there’s still room to improve 

look how far you have come

don’t give up now 

or its all gone to waste 

good 

don’t you feel better now?

 

look down 

up

never good enough

you're pathetic you know

just HAD to eat that donut

all your progress down the drain 

mindlessly stuffing your face 

think of the weight you'll regain

how do you feel now?

 

look down 

up 

okay i messed up

darling i said what i said

I'm sorry but we must keep it up

lets drink more water

go on another run

good 

don’t you feel better now?

 

look down 

up 

not good enough 

i don’t understand

you want to break up?

oh honey that’s cute

but thats not how it works 

why

would i ever leave you?

 

look down

up

not good enough 

hair falling out, numb fingers and toes

and amazingly no one really knows

that you're dying inside that your body’s shutting down

keep going, almost there, right now barely a hundred pounds

but you shouldn’t be proud, you can sink below a hun-

no

 

that is not how this poem will end

i am the author 

i will not be condemned 

to the rules of a literary standard 

or submit to the fallacies drowning me within my own head

i will keep kicking and fighting and holding my breath

i will no longer give into the lies that have misled 

me from believing i am anything less 

for allowing myself to eat a slice of bread 

 

look down 

up

always good enough 

no matter my reflection

i will strive for self-love

i am forever worth so much more 

than society’s warped view of what is “beautiful”

my existence is not dependent upon 

how the people in today’s society will respond

to my physical attributes that i cannot change 

without devoting endless, priceless time to a gym

or thousands of dollars to surgically rearrange 

the beautiful body that i was blessed to receive

i now wish that a year a go that i had believed 

that i didn't have to starve myself to be happy

my health and faith now fully restored

i am now ready to take on the world 

for perfection i now no longer weight..

but live a full life, and always clean my plate