It's been a long four years, each dwindling to an end a little faster than before.
My last may be my last but it's all still just a first,
Years and months of friends and then none.

The ups and downs are the experiences that make my mind round and keep my heart beating,

The ups and downs have taught me an important and dangerous knowledge between happiness and frowns

I've held a secret tight in my mind, the fear and insecurities keeping it isolated within my veins.

And love and attraction,

Yes, such a stereotypical pain and such an eye rolling poster board for the immature and the vain

But it's real I've discovered and it holds a power I haven't known,

A love and trust I've built out of nothing has set my mind free all on my own.

The power of love and the power of trust, to put my heart in reach of somebody else's grasp,

To know they have the power to defeat me with such a simple task.  

But the rewards are endless, and the improvements are mind blowing,

Every day sharing whatever's on my mind,

letting me release thoughts and let me do what I must

To make a better me.

Months seem to last but I know the situations will pass,

my body is more healthy now and my mind is in a new light.

Thanks to me, inspired by you,

My overall outlook is creating myself a whole new life.

I've learned to accept myself

And let myself be.

Every year I learn something more, adding to a better me.

Horrifying mistakes made, guilty memories mix into poison,

Embarrassing moments last but I keep up and put it all in the past.

Thankyou to who I put in my love and trust, for the endless support.

I may carry a tiresome weight but now I know it’s acceptable as long as I forgive myself all of the way.

Every day I grow and change,

and my mind won't always stay the same,

but right now I know what I have learned and can continue on my path.

Thankyou universe for the mountains and rabbit holes in my way.

Thankyou for all of the terrible pain I've overcame and for any wisdom I might've gained,

for now with all my history I can appreciate and recognize that today, right now, is going to work out, and i can make it and change it in any way.

I’m going to decide to make it a good day.