No miss, you don't understand
He doesn't “like” me
He doesn't “like” me at all
That's what this is all about, see
He calls me fat, miss
All the time
Guys don't do that to girls they “like”
Don't say to ignore him and he'll stop
He won't
And that's shitty advice.
Don't say if I don't like what people say, change
That's even worse than that he'll go away
Just because some kid
In fourth grade
Tried to impress you with his pain
Doesn't mean you were bullied
Doesn't mean you know a damn thing
About what true bullying does to you.

It makes you think maybe
They're right
And you're really that horrible
It makes you think maybe
You really are worthless
And there's no way to change that
It makes you remember
Every
Single
Failure
Of any kind
And you can't even think
Of forgetting them.

Every hateful word is branded on your very soul
And the brands pile on top of each other
Until finally
They become
A scar
Then two
And then you lose count, because
You just don't care anymore
And when people ask you if you're okay
You say “Yes?”
Out of habit
And it's a question
Because you can't even remember
What being okay feels like
Anymore
And the scars keep piling
And eventually they get deeper
Deeper
And then you're in a hospital
Half dead
And everyone thinks you're
Some kind of freak
Because of what they said to you
And what it eventually made you do
To yourself
And then it's just one more thing
They'll never let you forget
Even when you get help
Even when you move away
No matter what you do or say
To them and yourself you'll just always be
The girl who was fat and afraid and lonely
So don't tell me bullying just doesn't happen
And don't tell me self-harm is shameful or dumb
For the love of all things that are good in this world just don't tell me
That suicide is selfish, because
You'd rather we live in excruciating misery
Than die and be finally, maybe at peace.