Dark salt water drips on lined paper
A shaky hand scribbles
Dear mom_
Stops_ heaves a sigh
Purple and blue color his face
His body
Pain
Crippling
Silent screams pour into his mind

Takes off his glasses
Scratches his eyes
Tries again
Shaking severely
Heart heavy
Drops

He writes
“I don’t know how to say this
But I need to leave
Life is too cruel_
Harsh
I can’t deal with it_
I love you”

Black waterfalls pour from his eyes
He leaves pain
He knows he will create pain too

Through the tears
Through death’s icy shakes and shivers
Though death’s hand is coiled around his neck
He smiles
A tiny smile
Voices can’t pierce him
Punches can’t mark him

He’ll be free
Free from sharp pricks
Free from agony

He hears imaginary voices say don’t
He hears real voices say “Kill yourself”
Countless voices say die
No choice
The gun will go off

He slides the dark silver barrel
Carefully and excitedly inside his mouth
He feels the power upon his tongue
Savors the metallic taste of death
No not death
Freedom

The destroyers will get what they want
Maybe they’ll realize not to play
With people’s skin
With their resilience

Bang! _
Silence follows
Quick death
Only a pinch of pain
Unlike the beatings
That seemed eons long
Silence is all the boy is
A grieving silence
A blaming silence

Another soul gone
Forever
Not free
Dead
Agony took him away
Agony can’t bring him back