the more i look

the more i find

i don’t deserve a single ounce of you

i don’t deserve you.

on nights when roses rim my eyes

they swim, my eyes

they swim with tears

i don’t deserve you.

when i peel off my paint and

there lies the ugly truth,

cheetah skin, speckled by youth

i don’t deserve you.

my love i am far from flawless

but you never acknowledge this

sprinkling me with sweet truth

respect always, when i expect abuse.

it’s not your fault you see

it’s people from the past who said they loved me.

i am so far from flawless

these stains i thought i would outgrow

i truly thought i’d make them go

away.

i will be my best me for you,

try to heal my nastiest wounds

i scrub, my dear, i rub them raw

and still they dare to remain.

and so i say again, helplessly baring

my cheetah skin and rose red eyes,

i don’t deserve you, beautiful one--

the moon that shines

in my darkest skies.