I can't explain what happened fully
But I'll try my best.
I am man of thirty three years
And I'm finely dressed.
My life is in ruins
And my wife is distressed
I love her with all my heart
But good God, that Sally Johnson down the street? In that purple dress?

Back to relevancy, something that matters
I was eating last night
My stomach was empty
It always is, after one of those fights

We were arguing about cheating
I said it was just looking
She said that's fine
But for a sorry POS she certainly wasn't cooking

I was trembling as I digested
With no thought to this outside world
I turned to get up
When this cup was hurled

Towards me it flew
Around and around it went
It collapsed on my shirt
Leaving a Pepsi-brown tint

I was angry and bitter
My hands clenched and tightened
But the perpetrator made me wince
I became frightened

Sitting down and laughing, very absurd
Was I, twenty years ago,
A little Charlie Brubaker
I yelled at him and said "What?!"
He said "There's a mistake, sir."

"It wasn't me, a small child
it was that old guy, a geezer
in the same shirt you're wearing
but a lot less cleaner."

I looked at the boy
Up and down
He had the same light brown freckles
And the almost perpetual frown

I wasn't the happiest child
My uncle was mean and my aunt was drunk
Daddy left because mommy's depression
Mommy stunk

I looked at the old man
He had brownish-gray hair
He looked like this boy
Fifty years from now with bad healthcare

He coughed and sputtered
He looked as if he couldn't stand
I looked at him attentively
I stared at his left hand

"Woah you creeper"
Said me, just younger
"Take a picture on a Polaroid
it will last longer."

I knocked myself over to get to me
I sat down at the table and took my hand
"Where's your ring?" I asked
"Life without her is the desert, you will live on a diet of sand."

"Sally Joh-" the old man said,
"No!" I croak
"One day I stopped looking."
My vision was red, I saw smoke

The restaurant burned in flame
I saw a collection of dying workers
I was in the middle of the smoke
My anger was the cause of the fiery murders

"She is beautiful and articulate
To your children she gave birth
Out of all of these women
She's the best on earth!"

The old man reappeared
Dressed in a white suit
Now I knew where the flames were from
To my problem he was the root

The little boy was also coming back
"So now you understand?" he asked
I nodded and he waited, with some time to lack

"Hey Mister." the little boy said
"I saw our wife today and she's a looker
don't mess with her
I'm surprised you took her."

"She's gorgeous" I agreed
I had to concur
The flames flickered
They started to stir

A quick blackness fell across
Then I was staring up
A turn of the head showed a clock
my watch, and a cup

I was in my room
My wife was beaming
She was laying next to me
Her head full of ideas, just teeming

"I love you Charlie." she said
"So do I." I assured

This dream we ignored
My sleeptalking was never addressed
We forgot my unfaithfulness

My stupidity.

And I don't regret it.
You can have that stupid purple dress.