Dirt and shame were my middle names

Only saw brown in the reflection

Couldn’t stop the streams from falling

A broken heart all I felt

Too blinded by false guilt

To see the truth.

 

The truth.

 

What is it?

 

Distracted by the signs of the world

Screaming words only my

Insecure heart could hear

“Not good enough”

“it’s all a lie”

“face the truth”

“you can’t reach Him”

I listened to the voices

Soaking in every word

 Believing they were the words of

The King I was trying to become

Worthy of.

 

 But.

 

The word that changes everything.

 

But a light broke through

Coming in full force

In the form of crimson and thorns

Not screaming but crying out

Beckoning me

With words of

Love.

Grace.

Mercy.

Redemption.

 

Little did I know

I didn’t have to be worthy

That Lamb made a way

The Lamb that is also the Shepherd

Shepherding my heart and soul

Back home.

 

Extending hands that were so familiar

Yet so foreign

Inviting me to the place I was yearning for

The place I didn’t think

I would or could ever reach.

 

 

Oh, my King.

My precious King.

How long I’ve waited for You

Yet You were waiting for me

Standing in the only place

I didn’t think you were strong

Enough to reach.

 

Right next to me.

 

Oh, how I love Thee.

Sweet Jesus.