My Struggle with My Anxiety

Bullies are described as

People who are habitually cruel,

Insulting, and threatening,

To weaker people,

At least according to Merriam Webster.

 

Sure, I was bullied in middle school.

Wasn’t everyone?

But in my high school years,

I faced a different kind of bully,

One that was inside my head.

 

A bully that tormented me,

And shook me every day.

Some days,

I couldn’t bear to talk to anyone,

Not even my friends.

 

Fears of getting

Cut off,

Ignored,

Judged

Prevented me from being me.

 

Overcoming that bully

Has probably been the hardest thing

I will ever have to accomplish

For the rest

Of my days.

 

Overcoming that bully

Through standing up,

Telling him no,

Facing my fears,

Doing things that I always wanted to do.

 

Playing and singing in front of a crowd,

Unimaginable things for me to do,

Prior to me silencing

That evil bully

Inside me.

 

Inside me,

That evil bully

Was quite loud the first time,

That I performed in front of a crowd.

I eventually learned how to make him go away, though.

 

I have learned to ignore,

To plan against this bully.

To not listen to his deceitful tones,

And to finally be myself.

I can make friends, and perform.

 

Making friends,

Also deemed impossible

By that ever-present bully,

That lives on the inside

Of my head.

 

No one wants you,

He always said.

Taunting and teasing

Was his favorite thing,

Besides telling me I can’t do this.

 

He isn’t gone

Even now,

When the sun is appearing on the horizon.

He’s just temporarily

On vacation.

 

Sure, he’s still there,

I just don’t see him

As much anymore.

If he’s taking a vacation,

Let’s hope it’s a permanent one.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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