my scars have healed but I have not. people tend to think they go hand and hand but this is not the case. I may not punish my self anymore but that does mean I do not spend most of my day at the bottom of the shower with my knees at my chest thinking about all the things I could have avoided if I was dead. just because I stopped taking revenge on this body does not mean i do not stay up late and stare at the cracks of moonlight pouring through my window and think why one of the closet friends I've ever had was a forty-year-old man and how my sister is never going to come back...I am not healed but I am healing. one day to a time.