A person goes through many thoughts a day,

but there is not much to say.

I start with what to eat and what to wear ,

then ending up with future plans that strike me with fear.

Wondering if I will make it till the end;

maybe not the end of time but the end of my time here. 

I fear not making it.

I fear that I won’t exceed expectations.

I fear that I will be forgotten.

But the ultimate fear is not knowing what will happen next.

And how it will affect you and me.

But the worst thought that can ever be thought of is

ending it.

It is the afterlife, the death, the kill. 

It is suicide- letting go of all the pain and worrying and judgement

that any person should have to deal with.

We fight each other day after day,

but at different times and different venues.

I may have this “blessed” life with siblings and parents; 

but don’t  judge my book by its cover.

Underneath ever cover is a story within the pages

of that book. 

And my book isn’t ready to end,

not just yet.