I feel like I'm drowning in acid,

But while I'm melting for you I still try to smile.

During this metaphysical breakdown,

all of our memories I try to compile,

To extract from the quicksand of my mind

Every laugh, smile, and bit of dark sunshine

so that i don't lose the feelings made from those times,

Back when we didn't claim each other, but I was yours,

And I knew you were mine,

I'm trying to bare it all within these lines,

Cause its like I'm fighting in nam

and everything I see becomes a landmine,

From long braids to dark skin,

I'm fighting a war I'll never win.

Wracked with PTSD from self inflected injury,

Because it all reminds me of you.

 

It all reminds me of you,

As I walk the streets and parks of Seattle chasing your ghost,

From pike place market

To volunteer park,

I'm searching for that spark

To rekindle my heart,

From the cold ashes trapped within

As the world continues to whirl and clocks continue to spin,

I wonder if holding this memory of you in my heart is a sin

 

I wonder

Is it sadness

That compels me to fall

From the heavens

Into the fields of yesterday

So that the broken pieces of me

Shattered on impact

And bloody with longing

Leave no mark on the here and now?

 

I wonder if this is karma for all the drama I gave you

I wonder if the time comes will you save me like I tried to save you

Save you from the chaos that I am?

The confusion and swirling chaos of the feelings, stripping it all away until all that's left are the ruined sculptures made of melted emotions.